The monster within us?

[nsd_user663_2318]

I am really realizing now how tough a journey I have ahead of me. Just when I think I have this monster under control I read about someone caving that has been quit longer than me. The longest I had ever gone before this was a few weeks except for when I was pregnant with my children. I went 9 months 3 times. I know one of the reasons was another life was growing inside me. I guess that was enough then! Why did I go back:confused: What makes this time enough? I don't mean to sound like a bummer but it just depresses me even more when I hear of it. What makes me any different? Will I cave, and if so when? This is so hard!:mad:

[nsd_user663_2162]

Wow hun, that kind of thought is so going to keep you sleepless and certainly not be of any help in your quit - get rid of it, now

Seriously, why think ahead and, what is most, fear something that in no way can happen without you having some sort of control over it? Try and state very clearly to yourself that no, it will not happen to you. Simple as that. It's not a matter of who's better than who. I just believe in freewill, and find it quite reassuring to focus in a very objective way on the fact that actually no one and nothing at all has the power and strenght to put a cigarette back into my mouth again, light it up, and make me inhale the smoke - apart from me It's so reassuring. Fear is good to some extent, as long as it keeps you alert. But don't let it control your emotions and weaken your enthusiasm

[nsd_user663_2318]

what can i say??

Wow hun, that kind of thought is so going to keep you sleepless and certainly not be of any help in your quit - get rid of it, now

:eek:Yes, I know!! I think depression is getting the better half of me at the moment. I may have to seek help soon or the monster is going to grab me too! I just hate meds!!!!!

[nsd_user663_2162]

Oh, so sorry you're feeling this bad hun Talking to your doc and seeking help sounds very wise to me, why let yourself be miserable if there might be a healthy way to overcome this depression you're going through? I understand hating meds but first you're not sure you'd need them, then again if meds could help you stay on track and not waste the benefits of something as important and hard as quitting smoking you might consider them at least temporarily...You've come such a long way, I'd hate to see you cave in now

[nsd_user663_2318]

Thanks for your concern:

I tried them before but they gave me incredible headaches. I am hoping this is just a passing phase with the holidays approaching. I will try hard not to give in..believe me it's the last thing i want or need!

[nsd_user663_2162]

Many people get depressed during the holiday season, it's got to do with the general idea that one has to be happy at all costs...such a fake idea anyway isn't it, and if it makes "normal" people uncomfortable and slightly depressed, it's only likely that it strikes people emotionally vulnerable like ourselves way harder and deeper that average. I know you don't want/need to smoke, it's the nic demon playing its old and ever working trick (just light up and let me be your crutch and all weakness will disappear for magic...not! :rolleyes If it really keeps tormenting you then you can decide to see your doc. There is always an alternative

[nsd_user663_2416]

Hi Mary,

Francesca is right.

Just do as I do and stuff your face instead.

No seriously though, I remember from years ago when I gave up, and then gave in and had another one, It wasnt the same.It tasted like absolute crap...

Even if you give in and try one , you wont get what you are looking for anyway so why bother.Because your brain and body and taste buds have all changed.

It will taste "like crap", it will give you a head spin, and it will give you truck loads of guilt.

You can find another way!Even if it is the doc, as you have gone too far to go back.Nothing wrong with the doc.

[nsd_user663_2318]

Awwwe thanks!

Thank u for the kind words & encouragement. I called & talked to a dear old friend of mine tonight. It really helped me alot!! She was telling me it sounds like I have something called SAD (seasonal affective disorder)?? Apparently this affects alot of people at this time of year because the days get shorter and there is less sunlight. I might have to ask the doc about this one & what they do for it. It kinda makes sense because I am always outside when the weather is nice & I haven't been lately. We shall see...until then??? I gotta get out of this funk & sooooooooooooooooooon! As far as the holidays go~ they haven't been the same since family members have passed. I lost a very young neice this year so things are gonna be rough

[nsd_user663_2416]

She was telling me it sounds like I have something called SAD (seasonal affective disorder)?? Apparently this affects alot of people at this time of year because the days get shorter and there is less sunlight.

Yeah I'm glad the days here are longer and getting hotter and great weather for walking the dog and the kids come home and jump in the pool every day.It's great. I must admit at the start of winter I get depressed too.But we only wear jumpers for about 4 months of the year.Actually the kids swim from fathers day-Sept till mothers day-May.

If you were spending more time outside you would notice how well you are breathing. Its definately depressing when it gets dark early.

In NSW (and most other states in Australia) They have daylight savings , which is when they set thier clock forward an hour for the whole summer.

We don't have it in Qld yet.(bummer) It gets dark at about 8.30 -9pm.So the days are very long. Its good, It promotes a healthy active lifestyle.

One more state election and hopefully we will get it here too.

Anyway I better stop braggin now, me thinks this not making you feel better!!!Sorry Mary, not my intention.

Eat more Mary, Now there is a plus for Winter months.We can eat more!!!

[nsd_user663_2421]

Oh Hang In There, I Was Feeling Exactly The Same Myself Yesterday. After Reading All The Support On The Forum, Including Yourself. I Took Myself Off Xmas Shopping, I Bought Little Extras, Silly Christmasy Things With Some Of The Cash Saved In My Quit. I Bought The Grankids Stuff To Make Their Own Xmas Cards, Wich They Will Love As We Are A Arty Lot.felt A Million Times Better Seeing Somthing For My Troubles. Take Deep Breaths Put Some Happy Music On Do Anything But Crack. We Are Here For You X