I've totally blown it

It WOULD have been 2 weeks at 8pm this evening but I've just had 3 puffs of a roll-up. I didn't even enjoy it and now feel sick and even more angry than I was before I smoked.

I stopped taking the champix on Saturday because it was making me feel horrendous.

This morning I was confronted with cat sick all over the carpet ... closely followed by hedgehog poo on the carpet that was walked in from the back garden. I love my cats and adore hedgehogs .. so why is it such a big deal!

Sorry ... I think I've lost the plot :o



7 Replies

  • It WOULD have been 2 weeks at 8pm this evening but I've just had 3 puffs of a roll-up. I didn't even enjoy it and now feel sick and even more angry than I was before I smoked.

    Hey Ali,

    Don't beat yourself up! Ok, so maybe you feel that you have let yourself down, but think for a moment about the good things that have come out of this little tale:

    1. You realise how disgusting roll ups taste!

    2. You know how angry you'll feel at yourself for smoking!

    These are good things that will HELP you to continue your quit.

    Can you make yourself feel that anger again? The anger you now feel because you smoked? (I say 'anger' because that is the word you used - it might be a different feeling, but I'll stick with the word 'anger' for the time being, just be sure that you recreate that feeling again!) I sure hope you can. On a scale of 1 to 10, how does it feel? If it doesn't feel like a 10 can you make it one (without smoking again, that is!). When you can make it a '10' I want you to hold that feeling for 10 seconds. Really feel how angry smoking a cigarette is going to make you feel. Horrible, isn't it? It is really worth doing something that is going to make you feel this way? Hold that feeling for a while longer. OK, now increase that feeling more so that it is maybe a 20 (20 on a scale of 1 to 10? Yeah sure, go right off the scale!)

    Ok, whilst your feeling like this (aren't I nice, helping you to feel angry) you might want to pretend to smoke. Maybe use a prop like a pen. Be sure not to use a REAL cigarette else *I* might get angry too! Keep feeling angry and take 10 imaginary drags. You might also want to 'mix some disappointment' in there too. All this is how smoking is going to make you feel : angry and disappointed with yourself. Really want to feel like that?

    Put the prop down now. And relax. Take a deep breath, counting to 8, hold it counting to 32, breath out counting to 16. Do this three times.

    Now for the good bit. I want you to imagine reaching for a cigarette, but right at the last moment, pull your hand away. In fact, imagine yourself crunching up those cigarettes and throwing them in the bin. You don't need that cigarette! Feel good about yourself - you are a non smoker!

    Repeat both excercises 10 times (one set!); one to make you feel bad when you do, one to make you feel elated when you don't! Do a 'set' three times a day, once in the morning, once midday, once in the evening.

    Sure, you might feel stupid doing these - so do them when no one else is around!

    Good luck with your quit! You're doing the right thing! You haven't lost the plot, it's just these nasty little routines inside your mind playing tricks with you, trying to get the nicotine fix. When you resist, these little routines PANIC, thinking they are losing CONTROL over you and try harder to make you smoke!

    Imagine how great you will feel, each time you don't give in to the urges to smoke! Imagine how excited you will be when you realise how much healthier you are becoming!

    Be strong - we're behind you all the way.


  • Diablo...that is trully awesome advise!!!!

    Can i ask?....What do you do for a job?:)

  • Hi Ali

    You've not totally blown it, just a hickup which you can get through and learn from.

    I found also that the Champix was making me feel very sick and reduced the dose and had the tablet during a meal. It has made the sickness feeling a bit better, although the cravings are a little worse but overall a better solution.

    Keep your chin up, take a big breath and remember it wasn't just down to the Champix that had been getting you through, your own strength had also!

    Hang on in there ;)

    Love Carol

  • Get back in the saddle and keep riding! 3 puffs does not constitue a smoker again. You stumbled and now you know your stressers. You do not go back to day 1 over 3 puffs. Did you try 1/2 ing the champix and taking 0.05mg in the am and same in pm? That may work for you. Keep going and stay strong.

  • Ooo Alid

    Many of us blip - it is understandable but the good thing is your quit is very strong in your mind and you have got right back on it. Well done lovely.


    Keep going - you can do this.


  • Hey AliD are you still with us hun? I sure hope so, let us know if everything's ok ;)

  • hey ali dont let yaself feel so bad, so you slipped up, the main thing is that you recognised you dont like the taste of roll ups lol.

    tomorrows another day

    good luck


You may also like...