A sinister title to this thread - to make you think about what's going on that we, as giving up smokers, do not sometimes realise is actually going on behind the scenes to trip us up.
You can read threads on these forums that detail quite accurately how difficult it is to give up because of cravings. People fight these cravings, but, look at how many times you read 'I slipped up', or maybe, 'I accidentally smoked'?. These are not the types of reasons we'd expect to see. You'd expect to see something along the lines of 'There I was, absolutely craving for half an hour - dreaming and wishing I could smoke, and I was adoring the thought and idea of smoking until I just couldn't bear it any longer and I had to light up a cigarette to satisfy the craving'. You don't see that. Why not?
Here are some ideas which, you might have to agree, you've noticed.
1. The 'one won't hurt'. Much chronicled and much observed. However, there's more to it than people just saying to themselves 'I can handle it'. What's actually going on is that the 'smoking brain' is giving you an excuse to smoke. Imagine that there's a little devil inside you who's only line is 'Go on - one won't hurt, but none will' and at the same time you're saying 'I don't believe that - one *will* hurt'. Let that argument rattle on all day long - all week long and sooner or later one is going to give in. It's more likely to be you rather than the devil who gives in because the devil is a parasite and thrives on your negative energy. So whilst the argument rages on, several of the 'topics' below come into play to 'support' the little devil's 'argument'. Read on to see how he gets to you.
2. 'I feel dreadful (today)'. Many many threads contain this thought - and guess who put it there in the mind. Him ^^^^^^. His idea is that if he persuades you that you feel bad it's *all because* you haven't done what he told you to. Now that you know that he's stomped his feet and done this to you - smile at him and let him get really fed up with himself. You will suddenly feel liberated and stronger having made him let go of you.
3. 'I don't feel well (ill)'. Psychosomatic illness can come about because something has changed and the craving is saying 'Well, of course you're not going to feel well - you're denying yourself something'. In actual fact, the problem develops the other way around. You subconsciously think 'I'm denying myself something - therefore I am bound to not feel well'. And hey presto - give yourself a day or two and you'll feel tired, sleepy, tummy ache, breathless.... etc'. How to get around this? Remind yourself that for every action there is an equal and opposite reaction. Therefore if something uncomfortable develops - just push it away by thinking positive. Do not however, ignore something which does need your doctor's opinion.
4. 'Smoking is not as bad as they make out'. Ouch!! That's not what you or anybody else said when you decided to give up. If anything it was one of the prime reasons you decided to give up. It's the same old story. The grass is always greener on the other side of the fence. Or, in this case, we soon forget how damaging the smoking was. You may even cocoon yourself in a comforting belief that you are not affected by cigarette smoke. Look - cigarette smoke doesn’t affect you (now) - so what's so bad about it? This is trickery of the worst sort. The only reason you don't (now) think smoke is so bad is because you're away from it..... go back near it and you'll reap all that bad stuff - again!!!
5. 'I was stressed - that’s why I had one'. Nothing is worse than letting him 'wind you up'. He starts by making you get irritable at little things. Then he'll make you nit pick. Then he'll wait until you're in a thoroughly bad mood :mad: before drawing somebody else into the affray who, eventually says 'You're x,y,z'. This is your opportunity to go into orbit which you do, and to get you back down you agree to smoke a cigarette. (note the use of the word 'agree'). Once you've smoked the cigarette, the little devil strokes you gently saying soothing things. He's happy. You're sad... so he's happier. Gonna let him win the next one? Instead, how about looking for something alternative to vent on when he starts to wind you up?. Here's a useful tip. Build playdough figures of the little devil and then stand him on a table and laugh at him. (Make sure he has angry horns and a red pointy tail). You can make him do exercises etc. Stand on one leg? Make him look like a tea pot? The joke's on him from now on.
6. 'I had a drink too many and couldn't stop myself'. Yeah, right. Hopefully you're reading this now when you're entirely sober. Well, maybe you're not - in which case you're gonna TOTALLY NOT like this at all. Imagine that you've really drunk your fill - you're 'topped up' to the point where one more drink will make you sick. Now imagine smoking that one cigarette that you haven't had in ages. Within 20 seconds your head will buzz. By the end of the cigarette you will be throwing up. And the next morning you will be saying 'Nooooo!!!!!!! Why did I do it???!!!!' And guess who will be sitting in the corner of your mind with a gleeful look on their face? It was he who got you drunk and he who wickedly enticed you to smoke. Next time you're out socially and you're drinking - and you get the 'urge' (from him) to join in the smoking frenzy, look at somebody's lighted cigarette, and then imagine that cigarette end inside your glass - not immersed - but just smoke wafting about in your glass. Imagine then having to take a drink from that glass with all the smoke in. Imagine then the ash being dropped in the drink - imagine having to then drink that drink. Then imagine that the cigarette was dropped in your drink. Then imagine how your vodka and tonic goes yellow. Then imagine HIM getting you to drink it - including the butt which he wanted you to hold. Hang on!!! That bit about you having to drink the cigarette wasn't his idea - but you've made it his idea, and he has only himself to thank for starting it all off. Haha!! That's another one chalked up for you against him. Never forget - smoking can make you feel really sick - just the one will do the trickery.
7. I’ve proved that I can give up - so I can go back to smoking for a bit longer and give up again when I need to'. Ahem. The time you should have given up was just before then very first cigarette you ever smoked. Staying stopped means just that. Stay stopped. There is no such thing as 'One day I'll quit for good.' just as even you would say to a youngster 'Whatever you do - don't start smoking - it's really hard to give up'. Yup. YOU would say that to a young person who has never smoked, so why's it different for you? Why are you permitted to smoke 'just a while longer' so that you can choose a day in the distant future when you'll agree (with his permission - that will never be given) to give up?. That day will be a long way away and it'll be a harder day. Insurance companies only consider you to have quit if you have not smoked anything for over a year. So, giving up for a week, a month or three months is not good enough. Forever is good. Anything less aint.
Take care.
(By the way........... he............ is a smoker....... who misses your company…….but you knew that anyway).