low motivation

[TomMilds]

Hey all. Last times I facing problems with very low motivation to do something. It's hard for me to leave bed. I hove no pain or another discomfort. But any my wish to do something breaking by question “why?”. All actions seem meaningless. My mood is a little uprising only when I use tablets like ibuprophen. Dialysis goes normal, my results of blood test in order. I’m on dialysis since 2016. If somebody experienced a similar situation, I’ll be happy to hear your advices.

[RhenDutchess123]

I think you may be suffering from Depression...most of us with terminal diseases do, so first of all..you are not aloneThe chemical Imbalance plays a big part in Depression and you need to get your Doctors advice on what is available for you to use or if Counseling may be a better alternative...Ir you may need to add or omit to your diet..

I hear you...

[TomMilds in reply to RhenDutchess123]

Thank you so much for your answer. How do you think, can incorrect procedure of dialysis affect depression?

[RhenDutchess123 in reply to TomMilds]

How is your Dialysis doing ?...Does your Clinic think you are getting adequate Dialysis ?

[TomMilds in reply to RhenDutchess123]

I’m doing Hemodialysis in clinic. Clinic using mixed procedure for me. First 2 hours on postdilution and next on predilution till the end. Doctors said it needs to reaching better results of KT/V.

[RhenDutchess123 in reply to TomMilds]

So your Dialysis is not adequate..I do Peritoneal Dialysis at home so I don't understand the Hemo in Clinic process...but if you are not receiving adequate Dialysis it can absolutely effect your mental wellbeing....have you told your Clinic how you feel unmotivated?

[TomMilds in reply to RhenDutchess123]

Yes, I told about it to my doctor, but he has only one answer for any question: dialysis os not affect mental condition.

[Darlenia in reply to TomMilds]

The world is full of super specialists. Your nephrologist is only looking at your kidneys, not your mind. It may well be that once your dialysis is adjusted to getter remove toxins, your state of being will improve. If you think that won't do it, you may want to seek the services of a professional that understands and diagnoses mental wellbeing. The brain is an organ and, it too, deserves proper attention from the right people. Your dialysis center may may have a social worker there who can work with you in that regard or you may want go to a person outside your clinic if that would be more comfortable for you. I was a caregiver to hubby, who was on dialysis at the time, and I felt very overwhelmed, anxious, and more. I didn't want to involve the clinic, opting to see my primary physician. He listened to me, providing and directing me to resources, etc. You can turn your situation around. Go for it.

[RhenDutchess123 in reply to TomMilds]

It shouldn't matter if he thinks Dialysis can cause it or not...He needs to treat the whole person...and he needs to supply you with "tools" to do that.....not dismiss you....

Do you have anyone in your life to help you advocate for yourself ?

[Bassetmommer]

HI Tom,

I am not on dialysis YET, but it is coming soon. When we fight a chronic illness and our lives are spent so much doing treatments, it is totally understandable. First and foremost, do not feel guilty. But do not let this situation bring you further down. There is something called the failure to thrive and it is very real. I would suggest you speak with your doctor and see what they recommend. It could be medications or therapy.

[TomMilds in reply to Bassetmommer]

thanks a lot for your answer.

[RonZone in reply to Bassetmommer]

When are you looking at starting dialysis? Not anytime really soon I hope.

[Bassetmommer in reply to RonZone]

Just saw the neph this afternoon. I'll have the surgery early this summer for the AV fistula and then probably late fall as it heals. She thinks I can possibly make it through this year, but it is a BIG gamble. Not happy, but it is what it is. Six years is pretty good since she originally told me I would have to start.

[Ziggydoodah in reply to Bassetmommer]

You have done really well Bassetmommer.

[RonZone in reply to Bassetmommer]

Yeah, that's a LONG time that you've been able to postpone the big D. Very impressive. Any chance you want to join us PD folks? I can't remember if you said you had something that would prevent that method working for you.

[Bassetmommer in reply to RonZone]

I did a lot of research and PD for me is a big no. First of all, I am a person of size and the thought of putting glucose calories in me is absolutely out of the question. Secondly, I am hoping to continue to enjoy water aerobics and I can't do that on PD because it is in a water channel. And lastly, there really was no good choice

[RonZone in reply to Bassetmommer]

You are right, the choices are not ideal by any stretch of the imagination. So water aerobics. Cool. Totally understand your choice based on that. You keep a swimming! Oh, but so far, I've actually LOST a couple pounds since starting on the cycler. I just don't have the appetite now, and what I do eat is mostly protein, so no weight gain yet. Though that could change if they bump me up to 2.5% solution, or if I get a huge craving for twinkies or something because of it.

[Bassetmommer in reply to RonZone]

Yup, and you can swim with a PD catheter, but not working out against a current in a water channel. I am addicted to the class. even though it is really hard. I get done and feel so good all day...until a bit after dinner time. And then I can hardly move. We use water resistance weights and tools also so its full body.

Different people react differently to the solutions and I know there are lower concentrated solutions, but the weigh I gain weight ( see what I did) is so grossly unjust I would blow up like a balloon. My neph, knowing full well my weight issue, put me on carvedidol. Beta blockers slow your metabolism down as a side effect. I was putting on a pound a day once I got up to a full dose and that's on a 1300 calorie diet. Ridiculous. I have stopped it and the weight came off as fast as it came on. I am still 25 pounds over what is needed for transplant and that's after losing what I did, which was 50. SUCKS!

[Jayhawker in reply to Bassetmommer]

you’ve done an excellent job pulling that much weight off!

Jayhawker

[Beachgirl32]

I think if you are getting adequate dialysis it can make you tired and depress where you wouldn’t have much motivation to do much . Also how is your iron are you anemic ? I just started dialysis I do pd dialysis at night . I notice I have less motivation because I’m tired I have to get iron infusion that help me get some energy so I can do something but when the infusion wear off I don’t want to do anything but sit and rest but I know I have to push myself to do stuff . You might want to talk to your social worker she or he can help you with your low motivation can guide you to the help you need but you need to be honest with them .

[Ziggydoodah]

Oh Tom, I think we have all been there at some point on this journey. I have been on Haemodialysis since May and its always one step forward and about 10 back 🙄. As someone has suggested, get your haemoglobin levels checked. Actually ask for the levels dont just accept...they are fine. Also check your vitamin 12 and vitamin D levels. In Scotland, after dialysis, we always get a multivitamin and a vitamin D3 supplement. I still work and get one day off from dialysis and work. I always plan to get up early to make full use of the day. Reality is rather different. Sometimes i wake up and just feel so drained physically and emotionally that i just lie there for an hour wondering where my life went so wrong. I then give myself a good talking to. Im not in pain either. So I remind myself of the worst point of my illness (when i was on high doses of steroids..aches, pains, hair falling out, emotionally running on empty) and think I can make this into a good day. We don't know whats ahead of us in life. However be thankful you arent in pain. I believe it is a chemical imbalance too regarding motivation etc. Why don't you wrote down three things you want to do that day? It can be very small things. Then make it your goal to complete them. We recently adopted an old dog. I have no option.but to take him out 3 times a day. It does help getting fresh air and clear away the cobwebs. Not saying get a dog but just a small walk a day can make a really difference. Get the serotonin pumping 😁..i really hope things improve. Its not just you and I know how hard it is. Take care x

[Bassetmommer in reply to Ziggydoodah]

Get a dog... Great suggest. Every night I end my day with two dogs (they're smallish) in my lap and every morning I wake to the one who can still get up in the bed giving me kisses. How can you not have a great day when you know you are totally and unconditionally loved. Everyone should get a pup who has a chronic illness.

[horsie63 in reply to Bassetmommer]

Dogs are wonderful, cats can be too. I recently lost my Charlie who was my constant shadow. He lay outside the bedroom door when I did my exchanges (filling and draining). I have 3 other dogs who now have taken Charlie's place and shadow me. Couple of my cats want to sit in my lap anytime I'm in the recliner. It's like they know when you need comfort and give it unconditionally.

[Jayhawker in reply to Bassetmommer]

Absolutely! Izzy, my little one in my photo on this website, has been my rock through all of this medical stuff. It’s her job to keep me calm, keep me moving, and lay in my lap when I’m seated. She takes her job VERY seriously

In addition to what others have shared I would add that many doctors don’t focus on mental health issues. By nature nephrologists and the like focus on physical well being. Consequently, emotional issues, like motivation which could be related to depression, is something mental health professionals are better equipped to address.

I like to try to get possible medical causal factors eliminated first. By that I mean that if my hemoglobin is below the normal range, I would want to get that under effective treatment. Once the physical issues are addressed, if I’m still unmotivated, it’s time to add mental health professionals to my team. If my doc won’t refer me, I’ll seek out a mental health professional myself.

Jayhawker

[TomMilds in reply to Ziggydoodah]

You totaly right about pain. I had endoprosthetic surgery of hip joint in 2016. On both legs. My rehabilitation period was about 4 months. During this time I had not an option to walk. After that I found that success of surgery was not the same. My left leg still weaker than right. First 2 years after surgery, leg have been bringing a lot of pain. Now , it’s almost gone, and it is absolutely positive thing.

[drmind]

Sounds as if every body gave you good advice so far. I would definitely look at your labs with your doctor to make sure you're not anemic and need a boost in your iron or other substance. It's amazing how low we can feel when our chemistry is off. And, I'm also sure that there's some depression. When we're wrapped up in our life saving treatment, some of us forget there's a "life." I always feel that with kidney disease, we're the lucky ones. Most of us don't have pain and we have a treatment to deal with our serious illness. A treatment that we can use for years. So, You may also benefit from getting some counseling that can help re-arrange your thoughts into thinking more positively. It's called Cognitive Behavioral therapy.

BTW you may want to know that "the not wanting to get out of bed" in shared by many of us in our journey at some point in our lives. We've all been there and know about it. But, like a physical illness, negative thoughts can be damaging if we don't treat them. So, once you get your chemistry checked out and thère are no abnormalities, get some help with getting out of bed. Others have already made some suggestions: go for a walk, make breakfast, call a friend, get dressed, sit in the sun. These are starters to get you moving. Counseling can help you develop others.

Good luck my friend. You can do this. You have many, many friends on this forum to support you. Keep us posted. Life is good even on dialysis

[Jayhawker in reply to drmind]

So appreciate your comment about some of us forgetting there’s a life as we spend so much time and energy pursuing life saving treatment. So true; both insightful and wise!!

Jayhawker

[TomMilds]

Thank's for all for your support. I checked my iron level and it is getting low - from 624 mcgs to 554 mcgs. What numbers is match to normal? Haemoglobin is 115.

[drmind in reply to TomMilds]

I wish I knew the answer to these questions about Iron and hemoglobin, but I don't. Cam you ask your doctor or a dietitian?

[Ziggydoodah in reply to TomMilds]

Our dialysis unit likes to have them at around 125. I went through a stage a couple of months ago, when I felt fatigued and just yuck. Everything was an effort. I asked them to check my levels. They said they were fine at 115. However i insisted on them testing me again. Within 2 weeks I had dropped to 106. They started my iron infusions again based on those levels. If you have access to your blood test results, maybe spend an afternoon googling acceptable levels. Medical teams don't sways pick up on levels that are low.

[Jayhawker in reply to TomMilds]

Do you mean 11.5 on your hemoglobin?

Jayhawker

[Ziggydoodah in reply to Jayhawker]

Yeah. Sometimes they use 11.5 and other times 115 😁

[RonZone]

Hey, as you noticed, there's folks on here who are great at offering suggestions that could help. My suggestion is to make good connections with these folks, read their posts, get to know them, reply to their replies. It SO helps to have a community you can connect to who understands your journey like others simply cannot do, including family members, co-workers, some friends etc. So keep posting! Keep sharing your journey.

[RonZone]

Tom, How you doing today?

[TomMilds in reply to RonZone]

Thanks , I’m fine. From  all the comments I conclude that my dialysis procedure is not correct. Main issue is incorrect dry weight as I think. Some number of toxins still in my body , even after dialysis. I tried to increase size of procedure on 400 grs bigger and it brought positive result. I feel myself little more active after that.

[RonZone in reply to TomMilds]

Hey, that's really good to hear! For those of us who aren't familiar, what is "400grs"? I'm not familiar with that in my PD setup. I hope this is the beginning of you feeling a bunch better in the near future. Do keep us posted on what you continue to do if additional adjustments need to be made.

[TomMilds in reply to RonZone]

400 Gramms. It’s part of weight checking before every dialysis.

[RonZone in reply to TomMilds]

Ahh, gotcha, thanks.

[TomMilds]

Thanks a lot for all responders. If you want to solve any problem - tell about it. And it will be a half of success. It much more easier when you realise that problem is common and have a several ways to resolve.