Anyone got tips and strategies for going through the holidays with family when you have kidney failure? Also it is my birthday in Christmas! I am turning 31!! At GFR 8...Feeling like the kid that has to sit out or that everyone forgot about while everyone is having fun. Most of the things I see people doing is centered around alcohol and food and im over here trying to strategize. No alcohol for me &. Im following a strict kidney diet so I can preserve my native kidney as long as possible so i can avoid dialysis and just go straight for a transplant (hoping it isnt just wishful thinking) I am happy and proud of when I am able to get myself back to good health with strategies i researched and developed for myself. The fatigue is always lurking... however Baths have done wonders to help remove the uremia through skin. Self massage to lower blood pressure around heart and kidneys, and clean eating. it has been interesting to learn how to treat my pain from a chinese medicine perspective. Also taking phos binders within 30 min of every meal helped me maintain my energy. I noticed I have to sleep for hours every meal so my kidneys can process what If I didnt take phos binders. I still have to get up every couple hours to urinate, but just accepted it. It is annoying but manageable. However I am 30 and look yourhful so people think im faking this, and it seems like this has been straining my relationships and it is tough to see friends continue on their lives and do fun things. So again, strategies for getting through holidays and diffusing family tension
I will have to encounter family members who have not responded to my attempts to rebuild relationships, nor have they even reached out.
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Cap_dragon
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I am sorry your family is acting in such a way. I just wrote a blog post on this this very morning. Try to focus on your health and enjoy that rather than comparing your joy of living the healthiest you can at this moment to their joys of alcohol and food. What I do is take tiny amounts of foods that hopefully won't be too bad. Control your urge to eat too much and definitely avoid alcohol. I bring my own flavored water everywhere I go and no I don't care much if people don't like it. Sometimes I bring my own food varieties as well. Others can have it too it is to share if they choose to. You have to remember you have to do what is best for you. As for rebuilding relationships that may never happen but put the ball in their court. Make it known you are willing to try but so do they have to be willing. Many blessings to you on the most wonderful day of the year. Sorry for the grammatical errors my comma and question mark keys suddenly decided not to work.
So sorry you are having a tough time with your family. People sometimes do not react well when someone is struggling. Sometimes it is because they are scared and they feel bad for the other person and do not know how or what to say. Some just do not understand the struggle of living with CKD and because we don't act or look sick, how can we be? Others are just jerks, and that is not your problem. Getting through any celebration is tricky when you are trying to not eat off a diet. Bring your own food and beverage. If people are offended, then tough for them. If your host cares, ask them in advance to have somethings you can enjoy as well on the menu. With my family, since I am the major cook, there is always something on the table that I can enjoy.
Happy Birthday Cap_dragon! For the past few weeks I've occasionally received the comment along the lines of: "Surely a bit of ____ won't hurt you." My answer has been, "Of course not but I'm playing the long game." That seems to work towards shifting the mindset of others a bit. Enjoy your holidays!
I actually hosted a small gathering of close friends for the holidays this year. I cooked most of the food but asked them each to bring one family favorite. This solved the food issue. I also planned some activities we’d fo during the event. That helped with conversation.
I have had many friends pull away as my CKD has progressed. But new friends have entered my life. The newer friends knew about my CKD from the first few conversations we had. So the CKD isn’t an issue with them.
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