measuring, shock and when people know your 'losing weight'

Morning everyone,

Today my tape measure came and I have to say am sickened by the results. Since I don't know anyone here I feel happy putting them down. My inside leg is now what my waist used to be at 29.1 inch! My arms are just over 19inch. My waist is now 44.2inch, my hips 53!!!! and my bust 44inch. So that's that, its for bringing it down.

Yesterday I visited a family member who I shared I had started to lose weight. I explained it was just a few pounds but I am determined to do it. She instantly said omg I thought you had lost weight, I can see it, especially in your face. Now....I don't wish to be mean so I smiled and thanked her but we had been talking for a good hour before I mentioned I had lost weight to get that response and being someone who had 7 stone to lose I don't think you can 'see' anything on a few pounds. Why do people comment on weight loss when they cant see nothing? I mean even my clothes cant tell!

I am a pretty positive person but I actually find it off putting. I was looking forward comments when you can see it as I think its uplifting and encourages you but since visiting my family I have now had my mom on the phone say 'oh I thought you looked different the other day, you have done so well and lost lots' When I told her I hadn't and it was a few pounds she said 'well it doesn't look like it' grrrr what a way to get out of it lol. I think they mean well but me personally, I don't find it helpful.

So not took a photo, I will do that later today. Not to post as I honestly wouldn't want anyone to recognise me but if I cut my head off haha. :) I will have a before picture.

Hope your all doing well and am looking forward to the weigh in Friday :) x


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23 Replies

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  • Well done for braving the tape measure asa, you'll be really glad you did, when you see those numbers going down :)

    Don't knock a supportive family! They probably didn't say anything to you, before you told them, in case their comments about your weight loss implied that you were fat before! You gave them 'permission' to be supportive. When I went to stay with my brother and his family, after losing 6 stone, no-one made a single comment! That hurt, until I thought about it from their point of view :)

    Definitely take a picture, because it's something that I regret not having done! It would be lovely now, to have a before and after :)

    Enjoy your journey! :)

  • Thank you moreless, I didn't mean to knock the support...I just didn't feel it helpful when you can clearly see I haven't lost any. My family are always telling me how big I am and how my 'looks' have gone. The last straw was hearing my children speak not the best and I know in the long run it will help but I was kinder looking forward to when I do look different and to hear something positive and for them to be proud of me. I guess I sound ungrateful and I don't mean to, I know they meant well but I haven't changed or look different in 2 weeks so I found it not genuine.

    I would of been gutted to have worked hard to have lost 6 stone to not hear anything. See, your even kind in your thinking their because to me surely they saw you had lost it and whats telling someone they look really well or glowing (not necessarily anything to do with your weight)...but hats off to you for seeing it from the other side. :)

  • They're proud of you for trying and want to encourage your efforts. I'm quite sure, that in the future, they'll be gobsmacked by the changes in you :)

  • Hopefully, thank you x

  • I agree whole heartedly with what Moreless has said. I have been in the position you are now and this time I have only told my children and husband that I am doing this. Why, because I don't want to be 'watched' and have the comments 'oh how much have you lost', 'should you be eating that', or being looked up and down by certain members of my family looking for any evidence at all of weight loss, or being told 'your doing well', or when I'm not doing well, which is more often than not, 'oh well never mind, your fine as you are, dress accordingly', my Mum's favourite, bless her. I think sometimes we are just far more sensitive about these things than we like to admit to our selves and it is hard for our family to know quiet what to say, without upsetting us one way or another.

    I understand that you don't think their comments are genuine, but in fact a 7lb loss of weight can make a difference to your face, you may not notice it, I didn't to start with but others did. I always loose from my face first.

    As for your measurements they are very similar to mine as is the amount you need to loose. Do it for you, try not to care what others think, don't forget the weight does not define you and loosing it won't wholly change the person you are now, yes you will feel more confident. I bet your family will love you just the same though what ever weight you are.

    Good luck on your journey :)

  • I think I must be more sensitive to it then I admit. I kinda wish I never said anything to them as it would of been nice to see if they noticed ...just cos I look different but I hear what your saying and I will smile and thank them whenever they bring it up. I am kicking myself though, it would of been nice to surprise them. At least my son doesn't know, so when he comes home in November I hope to have lost 2.7stone and hopefully he will see am trying.

    Thanks for the support x

  • What a great reason to keep going - your son coming home. I bet November can't come soon enough. :)

  • Well done for getting the tape measure out and taking your measurements.

    You are doing really well and i totally agree with moreless comment, that maybe they didn't want to say anything to start with incase they implied that you were fat before.

    Definitely take a before and after picture, this is something i didn't do but will take a picture one day this week, to show the rest of my weight loss journey.

    Wishing you all the best, you can do this. Have a good week :)

  • Thank you blackbeauty, I feel positive that I will. Its a good idea the photos, so many seem to have done it and even if it is just for ourselves we have prove we achieved what we set out to do :) x

  • Yes that is so true. I do regret not taking a photo when i first started this, but i still have weight to lose, so i think tomorrow i will take one.

    Have a good week :) x

  • Hey alwaysstartingagain I loved reading your post. You remind me of myself - really down to earth and can't be doing with people being patronising. I've measured myself twice since January and I joked to my sister that if anyone saw my vital statistics that they would thing I was measuring for a new lounge carpet instead of my body. I've lost just under three stone (weigh in tomorrow) and a friend of mine commented a few months back how she thought I looked thinner in the face and I replied "what? do you think I have lost two stone from my chin?" and a double chin is some thing I've never had!!!!! I think people just try to be kind and encouraging but it can be annoying.

    Take your photo and keep it safe, I have one of myself in my underwear, thank goodness my phone locks, but it is easy to access if I ever lose track of why I am healthy eating. I cant wait to see a difference. I'm down a dress size and went last week to be fitted for new bras which I'm also down a size. It's all these wee tricks we use to keep ourselves motivated. Keep up the good work and keep posting, I love reading your posts.

  • Hi Dipper,

    I am very grounded for sure :) It was your idea about the photo as you mentioned it was on lock down but I didn't get round to doing it until 10 mins back. Not pretty but its something to look back on. I didn't include my head, god knows why not but I will stand in same clothes and compare myself in a few months to see lol.

    Your humour is awesome lol, made me smile for sure. I haven't been measure for a bra since I was a 36c and in my mind I believe I still am, its just when I started to have 6 boobs I thought I best just get a bigger size so I measured myself and guessed, still I cant wait to find decent underwear but money is tight so I am putting a bit away a week to what I would be paying if I went to stand on someone elses scales and I might be able to afford a new outfit by Christmas :)))

    I will check in tomorrow to see your progress...good luck x

  • That's great that you have now got a photo to be able to compare how well you have done in the coming months. In my underwear photo I didn't think to cut my head out of it, I wish now I had as if I ever lost my phone and someone was able to unlock it, it will be a bit embarrassing!!! xx

  • Hahaha you never know, you may make someone's day :) I don't think it would make a bit of difference if my head was in it or not if I lost my camera as I have plenty of head shots of me and kids haha. x

  • Have some trust in your family + friends 0alwaysstartingagain. Don't forget you see yourself everyday, they possibly see you less frequently. And that is when people notice a difference, however slight. I know that my gradual weight loss has shown in my face before everywhere else! And 7lbs can make that difference. Use a positive response as 'thank you' practice for when you're feeling so overjoyed as you shed more noticeable (to you) pounds! Being overweight robs us of our natural confidence and self-esteem, which makes us vulnerable to comments- even well-intentioned ones, so get ready for the praise and raised confidence to come! Wishing you well for your progress. πŸ’•

  • Hi grannydoug,

    Luckily manners are in stilled in me so as I posted I did thank her and smiled, it was just my thoughts which thankfully she didn't pick up on. Your right, being overweight does take away confidence and I guess I am more sensitive to comments. I just read the success stories in the magazines and think, I cant wait until I get to my goal and people notice and I get nice comments. I didn't expect them on week 2 as I don't see anything different and if am honest I thought it may be more water weight this early..but your right I need to buckle up and accept compliments. Thanks for the advice and good luck to you too x

  • I had the same thing happen to me - about two weeks into my healthy eating plan my aunt came round and started exclaiming how much slimmer I looked ... I had lost 5lbs and had about 40 to go! I think it was because I lose weight in my face first, then everything else. I was thinking, 'Just you wait...' (pun not intended...)

    But I think it's really hard to look at ourselves objectively in the mirror and accurately gauge how much weight we've lost, because we're used to being so critical of ourselves. I'm at my target weight but I'm so used to picking holes in how I look, even now, I have days where I think I'm 'fat.' And also, we look at ourselves everyday (I assume) so don't notice the gradual change, whereas someone you haven't seen in a while will pick up on it straight away. That is why my flatmates didn't mention my weight loss until 2 months in, whereas friends I see only a few times a year noticed right away.

    Also, the scales are only one way to measure your weight/general health - tape measurements are too, but sometimes you jus *look* slimmer in a non-quantifiable way. I suggest keeping a track of the little things you notice as you lose weight. For me, one was when I cup my chin in my hands if I'm leaning with my elbows against a table- my face suddenly felt less fleshy!

    ALSO, in my experience some people will have different attitudes to how to talk to you about weight. Some won't mention it at all until you bring it up because they don't want to offend you by saying you were big in the first place or they don't know why you're slimmer (after all it could be a non-deliberate choice)... some will have no reservations about squawking in your face about how different you look...! I've had a mixture of those and I feel very ambivalent about it... there are only a handful of people I feel close enough to to talk about it in person. But that's just me, everyone else has different responses! That's why it's great to have a dedicated forum like this one where yours and everyone else's intentions are clear. :)

    Phew that was a long reply - anyway best of luck, you sound very determined and even 'just' a few pounds is the first step on the road to success!! :)

  • Aww hello Lina,

    Am just running out the door...not literally yet ;) but had to reply as this was so nice to you write essays like me haha.

    I think it must be a case of people see it more than us. I wont go back up into that loft to check out myself in the mirror until November. Then hopefully I will see a difference too. I have a face mirror I contend with for now. My fashion as got shocking. I am no where near stylish like I once was. I cant wait for the nice clothes I want to get again.

    I best get going the kiddies are moaning but thank you for your reply and I will take it in. I am determined and hopefully this week I might make it a stone :)

    Thanks again x

  • awh, you're very welcome, and haha I know I am prone to long rambling posts :)

    I think the psychology of weight loss is pretty interesting, it's been eye-opening to observe my own experiences and read others' on this forum. The majority of us start off very self-conscious, and as I said, I don't always like it when people comment on my size. It's a pretty personal thing.

    The most important thing, I think, is to make sure you lose weight purely on your own terms, because you want to, because you're worth it (pinching a slogan from Maybelline) and not really care what anyone thinks, good or bad - but that's much easier said than done!

    Wishing you lots of luck :) you can do it! x

  • Great slogan :) I love peoples posts it helps lots along the way. I think am a tad paranoid of my weight at the minuet so not used to compliments as yet, but am sure I will get their when the weight comes off.

    Thank you for your lovely I just need to lose it and become a maintainer like you :) x

  • Well done on your few pounds and for taking your measurements and photo.

    People who love you want to encourage you but don't always know the best way for it to be received..

    Take it with the love that was intended.. We grow up thinking the white lies are ok if they make someone feel good...

    Maybe suggest honest ways you'd like to be encouraged.. Like how they can support your choices, how often they can ask about your progress, allow you to be enthusiastic about the changes your making....

  • Hi Minnie,

    Good idea, I actually did tell them not to let me know I have lost any until a few months in...then I can tell them how much...which hopefully will be noticeable. I actually wasn't mean to them, I did thank them but it was more my own I will make sure I didn't come across bad, I just personally don't find it helpful in the beginning but I know its said with good intentions. x

  • I did not mention my regime to any one apart from husband and a very close friend

    No energy to waste on other people's opinions

    You stick to your guns and focus on the road ahead

    You are accountable only to ypu

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