I'm new here and already doubting I can ever succeed

Hi, I am almost 49, a single parent and I am six stone overweight. How did that happen? Well, I know what to eat, I know about healthy food and exercise, but as a single parent I don't have anyone to care for my kids to allow me to attend an exercise class and my job is stationary, plus I comfort eat. I have severe joint pain which limits my mobility. (I sound like a barrel of laughs don't I!

I need to change, I want to change, I am not sure how...


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29 Replies

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  • Hi MamaIce

    Welcome to the weight loss forum.

    You sound just like the rest of us when we started so don't worry about it.

    Take a look at the Welcome Newbie post in the Pinned post section at the right hand side or at the bottom if your on a mobile. Have a look at the nhs 12 week plan, many members have had success following this plan. Use the BMI checker to work out your daily calorie allowance.

    Have a look at the Daily Diary which you can find on the Home page in Events. It is where all the members are sharing their daily plans on what they are eating and any exercise they are doing. This thread will give you some ideas on how to start.

    Below the Pinned posts are the Topics where members share a range of weight related subjects.

    Take your measurements at the start together with a photo so you can see the changes on the days the scales don't move.

    We have daily weigh ins so why not come along and join us today. You can find the weigh ins on the Home page in the Events section on the right. Just click on the post in Events and record your start weight and any loss/gain or maintain for the week.

    To get the most of the forum be active, share tips, recipes and experiences. Read some of the posts they are very motivating.

    Have a good first week.


  • Thank you for the lovely message, appreciate it

  • Hello, everyone feels like that the important thing is your here , I joined a week ago and everyone is really friendly and supportive,

    I do work out DVDs I try to do them before everyone wakes up (but lately my youngest has been waking up at 5am) so now I exercise when everyone's in bed.

    Exercise is the last thing I feel like doing but I know if I want to lose weight I have to make that effort ,

    I mainly do yoga, I was doing fit in 15 but after 5th day I couldn't walk !! had to go down the stairs on my bum! πŸ˜‚

    so waiting till I lose some weight before trying that again,

    I also use an exercise bike and I used to jog around my living room! (we have hard floor now not carpet and my stomping round woke my husband lol) Also YouTube have work outs.

    Be strong and don't let doubts stop you πŸ˜€

    Wishing you luck 😊

  • Thank you for the lovely message, the bit about going g downstairs o your bum made me smile. It's good to laugh.

  • The kids thought it was funny to!! My baby copied me πŸ˜€

  • 😁

  • Hi Mamaice

    I've got about 6 stone to loose and am not very active with knees that can corpse me at times. I used to eat when I was miserable,fed up or happy!!!

    I checked my bmi and put in that I don't do exercise. I couldn't believe how many calories that I should eat and still loose weight.

    I've now lost nearly 1& 1/2 stone and can walk much further and a little faster than before. Could you perhaps get off the bus 1 stop earlier or park car a little further away when shopping etc.

    It's not been easy and some of my eating habits are much more difficult to sort out,BUT...with all the help and advice on here I feel as though I'm well on my way. So you've made a good first step by joining here.


  • Hi

  • Hi, thanks for the lovely message, that is a really good idea about getting off the bus one stop earlier. I will definitely do that. It is an easy achievable step that just had not occurred to me. I think you are right, being part of the community here, will be a big help to me. Thanks for understanding. xx

  • Hello Mamaice, it's great that you have joined us, and we are all struggling together here, so we all support each other. Welcome to the weigh loss family

  • A wonderful welcome to you, I just joined a few days ago. Made my official start today. Sounds like your busy with your family to care for. Perhaps you can get them involved? You could go out swimming together. That would give you some family time and also do wonders for your joint issues. I recently returned to swimming to help my dodgy foot. It would give you a start.

    I know what you mean about knowing how to eat healthy. It sounds so easy doesn't it? It's a shame that having the knowledge and being able to put it into practice are two very different things.

    You'll get loads of support here. There is always someone around for a chat if you need it, or a bit of encouragement if things aren't going your way. Good luck on your journey. Pretty soon your six stone will five, then four, .......

  • Hi, thanks so much for the lovely message, and positive thinking. It helps.

    To have someone around to just give some encouragement is going to be a huge help.

    Thank you!

  • Just wanted to say a MASSIVE Thank you to everyone who has posted a message today, I feel surrounded by friends and that is such a good feeling. I already feel a bit better about myself, thank you so much you are all brilliant... xx

  • And so you should feel better about yourself, you taken a HUGE step by coming on here...well done πŸ’πŸ’πŸ’

  • Sleep well and a big hug for your posts

  • Bless you all, I am off to sleep now with a big smile on my face. You have all made a huge difference in my life, thank you xx

  • Hi and welcome, my sons are grown up now but I remember how difficult it is as a single parent. About of 80% of weight loss comes down to what you eat so you can lose without excercise just slower, but could you maybe get a small treadmill or static bike which you can use at home whenever you have a few spare minutes? Good luck πŸ˜€

  • Thanks Fran182716, that helps and I really appreciate it. It was nice to wake up this morning to a positive message from someone who has been there. Thanks for understanding and the positive support. xx

  • Hello and welcome, sorry to hear you are having such a tough time! Lots you can do, like the others have said, have a plan food wise ( I tend to have a variable plan dietary wise, with well stocked cupboards, freezer and fridge.

    The best way I've found is to split my day into five bits, breakfast, mid morning snack, lunch, mid afternoon snack and dinner.

    Protein for breakfast either yoghurt / fruit, nut butter / toast or eggs/ toast.

    Roll/ sandwich lunch ( I know others love pasta salads etc), fruit.

    Dinner whatever under 500 cals for me, tomm typically will be nut butter toast, red fruits, nut pack 25 g , lunch egg mayo roll, crisps maybe fruit.

    Dinner chickpea, butternut squash and cashew nut butter curry with rice, added extra veg too.

    Roughly 1500 cals, try not to worry too much about the excercise, try some stretches and stuff at home, use the stairs at work? Maybe some chair excercuses too, getting if the bus one stop earlier will help too

  • Hi MamaIce and welcome to this wonderful forum full of wonderful inspirational people who have all been where we are and are so willing to help us newbies :)

    Read loads of posts and post loads and you will find out everything you need to know. Check your BMI to see how many calories you need, too few are as bad as too many as I have found out. Set yourself little goals then you get the feel good factor quicker and that will help to keep you motivated.

    Good luck :)


  • Hi,

    Being here is a great start!

    I admit I haven't read all replies, so I may be repeating somebody elses advise. Sorry for that.

    Start slow, maybe one thing at a time.

    Some ideas of how to start:

    - go together for longer walks

    - go together swimming (is very good for joints), ask maybe there is possibility to do aqua aerobic when your kid has other water-related activity (dependin on age)

    - drink plenty of water (instead of sugary Juice s, squashes, etc)

    - use less sugar (e.g. in your coffee or tea)

    - find some short and easy exercises on youtube - even 15 min counts, best to go for 30 min low impact HIIT (high intensity interval training)

    - maybe you can start NHS C25K (couch to 5k programme), I've heard some people do it with children ;)

    - start finding healthier foods, e.g. wholemeal bread instead of white, brown rice instead of white one, fruits instead of biscuits, sorbets intead of ice-cream ;)

    Good luck and enjoy your journey!

    Don't forget to be proud of yourself!!!

    PS. If you would loose your path, don't worry and go back to healthy choices. Trying and succesing even 50% is better than not doing nothing ;)

    In doubts, low mood, come to forum, you will find a great suppprt here :)

  • Thanks IgaT that is fab advice. Kath x

  • Hi well done for joining ,I started 5 weeks ago and lost 11 pounds if I can do it Any one can,I didn't stop eating snacks and hardly ever exercised,I now plan my meals in advance,make up overnight oats for breakfast every night for morning,make my lunch and know what I'm saying at tea time so I don't snack.I buy loads of fruit and low calorie snacks,if you can't access is much there's a 7 min app I found great and I walk around park each it all helps,I try and go up and down stairs more. I'm actually enjoying it and like you was thinking I'd never do it,this forum is so helpful,good luck you can do it xx

  • Hey Gaynor, thanks for your response and well done on the fantastic weight loss, that is awesome! I think it is a good idea to try to have healthier snacks around and I will have a look at the app too. Cheers! x

  • Hi MamaIce welcome to the forum, "I need to change, I want to change, I am not sure how..". You have sure come to the best place to learn how πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

    Lots of different ways of choosing better food plans and exercise ideas on here.

    Have a good lookie around and enjoy the forum, be as involved as possible and enjoy the association of like minded folk with the same goals.

    Cheering you on πŸŽ‰πŸŽ‰πŸŽ‰

  • Thanks Minniewinnie, really appreciate it xx

  • Have read most of the replies above and I can't really add anything except that I understand how daunting it all is but you have probably just made the biggest step to change by joining/ researching the forum! Some advice I have been given in the past and am really going to try and follow this time is not to beat yourself up if you have a 'bad' meal; just try and make a better choice at the next meal time, rather than writing the day off.

  • Great advice πŸ˜‰

  • hi mamalc and welcome to the forum! I am a old newbie meaning I have left the forum and come back like 3 times. I know when I follow the forum and the suggestions given, I can lose weight as you will also. just remember this is a new way of life and not a diet. the word diet puts fear in us all so forget that word altogether. you want to be healthy for you kids and you want them to be healthy too and this is the best place to find advice, recipes and lots of support! stay with us and read read read the posts. and post if you feel comfortable to. I am now losing about 2 pounds a week and have heard that is a good way to possibly keep it off longer so I am trying. I will follow you if you have any problems, post for us and we can help. we have all been where you are or in my case am in where you are except my only child is 32. hum. well ok I am old 52 but I know the best way to lose weight is right here. Chin up doll we can and will do this!

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