Admitting lossing this battle

But hopefully not war.

I was doing fine, for some time. Then, slowly it all felt apart. My healthy diet, my exercises, my motivation... I think I back back to square one. Not sure if I have enough strength to start again, to push myself somehow to do it. No faith in my persistence or anything long term. I think I could do something for a week or two, but I don't believe that I could find self motivation to do it longer. My laziness and comfort would probably win again with my dreams, health, and stamina.

If you have similar personality that cannot do the same thing for long and desires constant changes, if you are someone who dive deep inside the idea just too much causing burning out / off too soon, please help me and advise how to overcome it. What should I do to reach my goal? I tried slowly, one small habit at a time - didn't work out due to lack of patience as my motivation usually comes from visible (even small) wins. I need visible results to keep me going and good work, maybe some "certificate" or other appreciation, if you know what I mean. I know I'm doing it for myself. I know my motivation should be from within and have strong roots, but somehow it is not enough, kind of I am not enough to push myself for a longer period of time. I have no friends, training partner or family here to support me. My partner is usually on business travels, so she cannot helpe much.

Any suggestions? Tips? Word advice? Any other good word?

Thank you for being here.


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37 Replies

  • The only thing I can suggest to you Iga, is to throw yourself into forum life! If you have little support at home, then here is where you'll get all the support!

    Join a weigh-in, for accountability

    Join the Daily Diary, for accountability, support and great ideas

    Join the Challenges, to keep you motivated to move, as you seem to have lost your running mojo too.

    Be active on the forum. Read and respond to everything.

    I hope this helps :)

  • I was reading almost everyday and sometimes respoding hopefully helping others, although I couldn't help myself. I will try again. Hopefully for longer this time.

  • Join the organised events too and see if that makes a difference :)

  • I had an exchange with somebody on here a couple of months ago and we mentioned similar behaviour traits. We agreed that the two of us had an addictive mindset and that was our problem. I know somebody who went to a 12 step programme for people who have an unhealthy relationship to food (too much or too little) and she found the support from the group really helpful. If you can, find some kind words for yourself today and know that you are not alone in your struggle. Fresh

  • Today, I went out for a walk-jog, back to week 1 of couch to 5k plan. Hopefully it will help.

  • Once I've sorted my legs and feet out I'm going to try the couch to 5k.

    I sometimes lose motivation but I know if I keep going then I will get there.

    My husband starts and stops and loses all motivation but he's just bought Tom Kerridge's book. The chef lost 12st eating things he liked, that had flavour. Sometimes we all get bored with eating and diets but just changing certain foods and adding more flavour is apparently a good way to lose weight and stay focused

  • I'd love to hear/read some easy and fast recepies that you enjoyed :)

  • Once we've received the book I'm sure I'll post some. If you look on amazon they give you snippets of the book. I can't wait to try something new and different as I'm a real carb queen 👸!!

  • But you have all of us IgaT Well done for coming back and posting. If you need extrinsic motivation work towards some special reward, new lens for your camera or a special photography trip.

    I know from my own experience that the more you are active the forum the more you get hooked in (could call it a positive addiction), and the more you get back.

    You said it yourself you are doing this for you - and what better reason could there be?

    Give it a go, come back and join us. We are all still hanging out on the happiness Challenge. i am sure HealthyTanja would be delighted to see you back there.

    Take care

  • I will try to get in slowly. I've noticed that I'm not doing so well on Happiness Challange. I struggled with most points which made me think not so good about myself.

    I will try to be more active on forum and I'll see how it goes. I know here are great people and very supportive, but it started to take too much of my time. I need to learn balance ;)

  • Good to see you on the forum again.

  • It's good to be back :)

  • Excellent!

  • You're right IgaT, this forum can take up a fair bit of your time but for the rewards it offers, I would say it is worth investing that extra time (at least until things have improved) in order to get the results you're after.

    Glad you're back.

  • Just wanted to wish you well and hope you can find your mojo again - and that you achieve the balance you're looking for as well. :-) xxx

  • Just to thank you for your support. I managed today (so far) to make few steps ingood direction:

    Step 1 - 42min walk-jog (incl W1R1 from C25K)

    Step 2 - "loving" myself i.e. nice long shower with all the beauty routines I could perform: nice almond peeling, moisturiser cream.

    Step 3 - green smoothie with 2 bananas, handful of baby spinach, sime skimmed lactose-free milk, tablespoon of almond butter (no palm oil, only coconut oil), cinnamon and pinch of cayenne pepper


    Now time to prepare some healthy lunch.

  • Brilliant. It sounds like you're feeling reasonably rejuvenated.

    Wishing you all the best.

  • Thank you. My lunch were full of vegues. But my dinner didn't go according to plan. Nevertheless, I'm winning most of the time today :) I manage also to keep myself away from Nutella jar :)

    Tomorrow is another day full of healthy choices.

  • Good for you.

    I even went off track after replying to you last night (DOH!) and had 4 (highly calorific choccies) even though I'd reached my calorie goal for the day. They've been lying around since xmas and I should have slung them or given them away.

    I think it was mainly because I didn't drink enough fluid through the day whilst I was working in the garden. A mistake I haven't made for a long time... not used to it being so sunny and warm but I'll be more careful in future.

    Are you using the Daily Diary? To start with, I found it hard to say out loud what I was going to eat but like anything, it gets easier the more you do it and in my case, helps me stay more focused.

    Enjoy the rest of the BH weekend.

  • I don't mind saying my plans. I used to meal plan for a week, just before goin shopping. The difficulty is to stick to it.

    I pop in to Daily Diary and read the main entry, sometimes also few comments.

  • I'm very obese, and I'm probably starting at a higher weight than you at 301lbs/21st. I'm weaning myself into this.

    I'm eating 3 meals a day, and I'm completly cutting out snacks. I find that this is an easier plan for me. Less calorie counting, and less temptations. I also do some low intensity cardio.

    I'm have depression, so it's very easy for me to lose motivation. I also have social anxiety. I don't have any friends, and I'm not confiding in any of my family members about my weight loss journey. So online communities like this are very helpful for me, personally.

    When I do lose motivation, I come to health forums like this. I sink my eyes into health articles and whatnot on the internet. I imagine myself slimmer, with better mobility, in better health, fitting into clothing sizes in the teens again.

    Adopt a plan that makes you feel good. My weight loss plan gives me more energy and feels better in my stomach than when I used to over-eat and do 0 excercise.

  • It sounds like you are doing very good job! I hope you're very proud of youself and any progress.

    I don't know how to stop snacking :( regardless how many meals I'm eating I cannot stop myself :( On the bright side most of my main meals are healthy :)

    Recently, I've noticed that I am lactose sensitive. Not only milk is making me feel very bad (bloated, very painful, and emarassingly gassy), but also products with skimmed milk powder, so no SlimFast, no biscuits, and still learning what I cannot consume. Thanks god, I'm good with yoghurt s and cheese :)

  • I'm also lactose sensitive. I seem to be more sensitive to it in the morning, maybe because I'm eating the dairy on an empty stomach.

    I think I don't snack because there's none in the house. In our house, my mother buys specific snacks for each of us to accommodate our tastes. When I don't ask her for these snacks, there's nothing for me to snack on. This restricts my diet to breakfast, lunch and dinner.

  • How about work / school or going out with friends? How you manage not to snack? At home I rarely snack, only few days a month when I'm in "snack or kill" mood :P and I try to keep them healthy anyway, usually with success.

  • Haha. Yes, it's very hard not to snack when my classmates at college are snacking. Because I'm obese, I don't like eating in front of other people. That kind of stops me. I've sometimes had a banana or some grapes between meals. I don't see anything wrong with a healthy snack.

  • I use almond milk nowadays. Very low fat and delicious in coffee and porridge. I'm a complete convert.

  • I'm drinking my coofee black now. I finally found the one that I can do without milk (Millicano Dark Roast). Any other I found too bitter or acidic in taste to do it. But I still add 1 flat teaspoon of sugar.

  • Well done DiDiZia .There is no single path as we're all different. It's good that you've found a way that works for you.

  • Hi i think everyone has been in the same boat myself included my hubby is away a lot of the time too. I set my self small goals and reward myself with jewellery makeup or anything else i fancy and use that as a reminder that the reward was for when i reached goal you could use this method if suits additionally i workout first thing it gets it out of the way and sets you up for the day i also tap into the forum regularly and read the inspiring journeys good luck im sure youll be back on track soon

  • Thank you for tips.

    I like the idea o small rewards, although I struggle with anything that suits me and won't ruin my budget (I'm saving for wedding). Maybe I could buy myself one of those miracle masks that are kind of expensive and one time use. Or a water bottle, currently I'm using normal PET after spring water that I bought quite a while ago.

    I am definitely not a morning person. Waking up to work is cruel enough :P I admit I had this thought to try to wake up earlier and do exercises before work. I think I wouldn't survive long in such commitment. I'll have a think ;)

  • How about joining Slimming World? You have the support of a group, certificates and support. I love it. Lost four stone and five pounds and my life is the better for it.

  • I didn't know about certificates. What kind of certificates can you earn there?

    I don't like the idea of paying for membership. I was alsways sceptical about such programmes. Especially that I have support in here ;) I am not sure if I can buy their food in Sainsbury's as a meal replacement when I don't want to cook. I will read about them more, thanks :)

  • Certificates every half stone, slimmer of the week and exercise awards. I cook from scratch most days and occasionally have a SW meal from Iceland. I love it. My diet has totally transformed; healthy eating is routine. Good luck!

  • This is why I go to SW, I need the group support and the knowledge that I am going to weigh in weekly and it will be seen by others apart from me.

  • It's nice to hear from you IgaT, I really don't have anything to add to what others have said, except, I find the Happiness Challenge a real challenge some days. The days I find it hard I just do the bits I can. I feel that even trying to focus hard on 3 good things to be grateful for, or 3 good things I have done for others, is better than nothing.

    You say you have no family/friends or your partner with you, how about joining a group for something you really enjoy, wether it be photography, a reading group, an exercise group, a needlework group, or even maybe a slimming group, you can still get support from here as well, anything that takes your fancy, to meet up with people and maybe make some new friends, just going out and socialising will help to change your mind set.

    This is the longest I have preserved at a healthy eating change, I have been doing it for 4 long months now. I am not getting anywhere fast, only 10lb lost, but I am still here, I have felt like throwing in the towel so many times, I can't tell you. It's only because of the support I get from this forum that I am still here. I do have a supportive husband, (he would be just as supportive if I gave in though!) and my children are aware of what I am doing, not that that stops them offering me what I shouldn't have. But it's the people here that have really kept me going.

    It is really hard to change a habit of a life time. How about joining in with the Daily Diary, you will also get some inspiration for meals to make.

    Being actively involved on the forum seems to work for a lot of us, you get to know people and the support is second to none.

    It appears I had more to say than I thought! Wishing you good look Iga, I will be looking out for you around the forum. :)

  • Thank you so much for good words and tips.

    I'm thinking how to break routine and I will figure out the way. But it takes time and patience. Somehow, recently I feel lack of both. I've already checjed nearest gym / sports centre :)

    I also need a weekend with good weather: sun, warm, no rain, no clouds, to go hiking, breath fresh air, get tired, reset my mind, escape from daily life ;)

    And it will be all fine.


  • We all get a bit bogged down with life sometimes Iga and just need to spread our wings a bit. Best place to reset the mind is out in the open amongst nature and breathing in the fresh air.

    Sending (((hugs))) back.

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