Things seem to be going downhill already! And not in a good way!

Well this is my first week. I've tried many healthy eating diets before and negativity always wins. I give up. I'm tired. I'm stressed. Too much to do. The list goes on and on. Monday was really good. Tuesday and Wednesday I over ate. Wednesday I was annoyed with my calorie intake so had four mini bars of chocolate and a tea cake. Self destructive I know. Last night was my work leaving do and I had a healthyish tea. Now today, I feel like it's been ok but I've lost motivation to add anything up. I actually ache lots and then I think it's not worth it. How can my motivation be so short lived? The worst thing is I'm loving offering advice to others and seeing your successes but I lack my own self motivation.

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34 Replies

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  • Oh dear Hlb82, you've just giving me the greatest help and you feeling low yourself. How can I help you? To get motivated I sometimes buy a WW magazine, the success stories and before and after pics help me to get back into it. Saying that I might go and buy one tomorrow. I read about the Happiness Challenge today and will join it over the weekend. Have a look perhaps you like it too. Hang in there ok, you're worth it!

  • I'll check that out. Thank you x

  • Good evening Hlb82 😊

    Firstly, well done on almost completing your first week. So you aren't perfect, who is? It takes time and practice to create all the right habits. Being successful is about not giving in, just keep going, every day is another opportunity to get better. 😊

    We all have different triggers, so take some time to get to know yours, it's not a wasted day if you learn something.

    It must be difficult working and trying to fit everything in, planning can help, having cupboards and fridge stocked with food you like that are also lower in calorie also helps. You can do this! We are all cheering you on, 😊

    Best wishes

    Anna

  • Ah! Tears coming! Thank you. Will kick myself in the backside x

  • Just because your first week hasn't gone as planned doesn't mean your second week won't be good. Start again now, feel proud every time you make better choices. If you know you are eating less calories you might not need to add up. People on here get bored of me saying it but I have lost weight by cutting out carbs like bread, pasta etc. Because I was eating a lot of that I have lost weight without calorie counting.

  • Nobody gets bored with you EllaMidlands, we all have different ways of approaching weight loss, what you are doing is working fantastically well for you. You are also capable of cutting out foods, I'm not as I crave them and then it's all downhill. If they get bored with you, they'll be bored with me as well talking about calorie counting😊

    Hlb82 you have done the best thing you could have done, you have come on to the forum and posted. This is only your first week, it takes a while to get into a pattern and to learn what works for you. Just keep going, it will get easier I promise. Set your self some small goals and don't look at the bigger picture. It's ok to eat more one day and less another. If you want to calorie count just make sure your weekly calorie allowance is met, not necessarily a daily one. You can do it, we are all here to support you, however we do it, however long it takes. Good luck for tomorrow😊🌷

  • You're a sweetie lucigret i hope you get a big 'whoosh' on the scales as Claz calls it when the scales decide to wake up and reward our hard effort. It's nice people like you that make this forum so valuable.

  • Your not so bad yourself EllaMidlands. I would love a 'whoosh'. Right now I feel stuffed, having a very rare quiet weekend so made a nice meal. I didn't calorie count but had a really small portion of curry and rice, but as it's Friday, my day for eating a bit more I added in half a naan and some peanuts and a wine spritzer, the first one in 9 weeks. We had rhubarb and cream for pud and wow don't I feel stuffed. I just can't do it anymore and that is great, I really don't like this feeling, 10 weeks ago, I'm not so sure the feeling would have registered. Something is happening, may only have lost 10 1/2lbs, but I am certainly changing.

  • Your meal sounds nice! Can't beat peanuts. Rhubarb sounds good, not had that for ages.

    I know what you mean about not being used to big meal. I went out for hubby birthday, had pate, steak with salad then cheesecake - was so stuffed I could barely walk to the car. (Just remembered the cheesecake - no wonder I have only maintained this week overall)

    Next week I am going to be really good... until my holiday then I will be quite bad for a week

  • Holidays and birthdays should be enjoyed, you will get back to your eating plan when you return. We go away the last week in April, I'm thinking of inviting the scales to keep me on the straight and narrow lol.

  • Don't be sad, we all find it hard. Feel pleased with small changes 🤞💐

  • Thank you. I've just worked out my calories today and I am 488 under. Do I eat, even though it's late or is it ok because other days didn't go to plan? My normal reaction is to eat, but that's always problem!

  • Are you hungry? If not then don't eat . . . It's the weekly overall total that counts so it's ok to be a bit up and down day by day 😊

  • Thank you x

  • ellamidlands I don't think anyone will get bored of others trying to help others x

  • Exactly 😊

  • Hi. To my understanding you have a hard time keeping track of your diet? This Is very natural when people is trying to change. They struggle and get frustrated.

    I assume you have this internal war going inside your mind... one part tells you to keep on track and eat healthy.. the other part wants you to stay with your current habits and therefore coming up with excuses to why you cant change. It's so easy to just say "f**k it, i give up" and step back in to safety.

    You have to be aware of this little voice inside your mind, because its talking to you constantly when you are outside your comfortzone. Get in the habit of becoming aware of it. Every time you are about to fall through your diet.. ask your self:

    - Do i have a choice?

    - Can i control my decisions?

    - Can i change my thoughts?

    Catch yourself every time this voice talks to you - and realize you can change your attitude with your own thoughts.

  • It's like you have read my mind! I will definitely try to be aware of my sabotaging thoughts.

  • Invariably, we all set exceedingly high expectations for ourselves, not least when it comes to looking and feeling our best.

    Through our constant strive to achieve, unnecessary pressure can ensue. When falling short of self-perceived aims and ambitions, particularly with regard to weight loss, it’s natural to lose desire and motivation.

    The key to over-coming such despondency is to develop a sense of perspective; any excess accumulated wasn’t gained overnight, so it’s not going to be lost overnight, either. Moreover, the management and maintenance of weight isn’t something that occurs for a 6 month period - it remains a life-long commitment.

    Although you may feel that this week has amounted to failure, rest assured it probably hasn’t, particularly if efforts have been made to curtail consumption of refined carbohydrate (with exception of Tuesday and Wednesday).

    Again, due to self-expectation and media pressure, a desire may exist to overhaul all aspects of diet overnight.

    While reduced consumption of refined carbohydrate is recommended, simply seek to introduce changes gradually over the coming weeks/months, while continuing to increase level of physical activity at a rate that feels comfortable (based upon current level of fitness).

  • You are completely right that I have very high expectations of myself and I always compare myself to others (9/10 I am less than the other person). I have never really been confident with my body or looks, and since having my two children my self confidence has reduced again. As I write this, I understand more that it is my fixed mindset that I am not and therefore I will never be. The mind is such a influential tool. Thank you for your reply.

  • Don't give up Hib82. This is my first week too. We so want to get to our goals and it seems like they're so far away. Try setting yourself small goals maybe 1/2st at a time. If you have a bad day leave it behind. You can do it.

  • Thank you. I think my goal is to ignore the part of my that says I can't and hopefully everything will follow good. Good luck.

  • I am a tennis fan - so here's what Stan Wawrinka has to say on this subject (Tattooed on his arm): Try and fail. Try again and fail better!

    So, let's fail together until we've failed all the way to target. Good luck!

  • The happiness challenge works. I don't think their is one that gives you the motivation. I find that if I practice something long enough it becomes a habit. An idea could be that those things like chocolate our whatever is your down full, imagine that they taste nasty eventually you may believe they do so you may stop eating them .another thing is plan some none food rewards . I hope I have helped

  • All the comments here give me motivation so a massive thank you to everyone.

  • Hello Hlb82. Just read your post and totally feel like I could have posted it myself! Today I had every intention of 'behaving myself' as I put it and done ok until mid afternoon when I just had to eat everything I could get hold of and I don't think I've had a decent interval between eating since! The trouble with me is that I keep thinking that I will start tomorrow. I've been yo yo dieting for 40 years or more and I just can't seem to get my head in order to start again. For a start, I don't like cooking. Another problem is my husband eats what he wants and not in a particular healthy way so I have to look at the food in the house that he eats, how can I stick to fruit and veg when he has pastries and biscuits, etc, in the house? And yet I feel so uncomfortable in my bulk of a body, the low mood feeds on the fat and sugar and round and round it goes..........

  • I can sympathise with you as well. My husband can eat and will eat takeaway lunches several times a week, and eats an absurd amount of biscuits. The other week I suggested we buy some smaller plates and he wasn't best pleased. I also weighed out porridge and he complained that his portion wasn't enough. So when I go shopping he gets one pack of biscuits and if I make lunch then he gets exactly the same as me. I've made a decision not to buy sweets and crisps etc. I've also noticed I don't like the taste as much as I did and grapes are actually much sweeter.

  • Hlb82

    What about buying a smaller plate just for yourself ( a pretty one so it's special) ?. Just an idea. Well done with the grapes 🍇

    Would the April challenge entice you ? I know it's the 4 th but it's quiet a good idea too

    You have to do this for yourself. I'm 64 and only just learning to love myself and want to better my health and weight control. Sometimes when we have families around us we forget about ourselves

    It's not about wining and failing, your on this web site so you haven't given up, you only fail when you give up! 😊

    Keep going day by day.

    One of my sons told me if you do something 17 times it becomes a habit, maybe mark up 17 days and tick them off, one by one. Keep coming on here even when your feeling low, such fantastic support for you.

    Big hug and keep going 🤗😊😎

  • Thank you for your reply. You are completely right about forgetting about ourselves when we have families. My children are very young. I'm trying to show them good habits but sadly my toddler has seen me snack and she thinks it's ok, when it isn't. She happily opens the cupboard to get herself a snack. Only for me to take it off her. It's really challenging to be the best mum that you can be, as every mum knows. I'm glad that you are learning to love yourself. From my experience, loving yourself is a new concept. Something that I'm working on too. I'll have a look at the April challenge. Thank you. I hope that you have had a good day x

  • I read your post and thought that's me to a tee. Always set off with good intentions. Take a photo of yourself put it on the fridge the biscuit tin and the snack cupboard. Every time you look at it remind yourself how you respect yourself and why that picture is there. It works for me 8 out of 10 times the other two well I'm still working on a solution.

  • It's a great idea thank you. I've reduced my hubbies biscuits to only a few packs a week. I also made beetroot brownies on Sunday for my treat but I didn't enjoy them sadly.

  • My diet was always full of sweet things and the only thing green that I ever ate was peas. Then I woke up one day and I was in a size 16. My metabolism is really slow so if I loose 2lb I'm ecstatic. I had to change my diet complettely salads and vegetables which I just didn't like just had to be eaten if I wanted to see results. Beetroot and onions though are still off the list. By the way I fell at the chocolate gate again last night but the first thing I did this morning was put exercise video on. Straight back on the wagon this morning. I still haven't found anything that satisfies my craving but keep trying and perhaps together we can beat it.

  • Do you like raisins? I tried a mindfulness exercise the other week and I just ate one raisin. I chewed and chewed it. It was the sweetest thing that I have ever had(sort if). I've since eaten two or more at once, and they don't come close to that single raisin!

  • Yes like raisins will give it a go

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