I need positive mental attitude

I'm new here. I've tried so many different diets and exercises but my willpower is never on my side. I've decided to try the 12 week plan from tomorrow but sadly I already think that I'll fail. I can think of every excuse and even the thought of my excess weight doesn't give me motivation to lose weight. I get really bogged down with what I can have, when I should exercise and I want to be happy and not obsess over my weight and appearance but my weight makes me unhappy. It's a vicious circle. Does anyone have any advice how to fight against your own willpower? Thanks


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16 Replies

  • Hi Hlb82

    Welcome to the weight loss forum.

    Have a look in the Pinned post at the "New year Amnesty" it may help you get into the right mind set to start your weight loss journey.

    Take a look at the Welcome Newbie post in the Pinned post section at the right hand side or at the bottom if your on a mobile. Have a look at the nhs 12 week plan, many members have had success following this plan. Use the BMI checker to work out your daily calorie allowance.

    Below the Pinned posts are the Topics where members share a range of weight related subjects.

    Take your measurements at the start together with a photo so you can see the changes on the days the scales don't move.

    We have daily weigh ins so why not come along and join us. You can find the weigh ins on the Home page in the Events section on the right. Just click on the post in Events and record your start weight and any loss/gain or maintain for the week.

    To get the most of the forum be active, share tips, recipes and experiences. Read some of the posts they are very motivating.

    Have a good first week.


  • Hi, I am in the exact same boat and decided to start the 12 week plan tomorrow too after trying many diets in the past and not succeeding! Maybe we can help each other along?

  • Hi, that sounds a great idea! I'm just reading the new year amnesty that I've been signposted to.

  • Me too! Lots of info to take in 😬

  • I'm pretty much the same....it's been going on for years and years. Not want to sound negative, but in my experience, even if I was able to lose weight....my mind always ended up defeating me. I would love to have some insight on how people with a" healthy and positive" mind set are.....till now I've come to the conclusion that something deep inside me needs to change, THAT will change my mind set and consequently making changes to my weight will be possible. The weight loss and other changes that will come to effect will be for life. Not something I will fluctuate on. ( cause I've done enough of that already). I'm not quite there yet in terms of figuring out what it is, but I have a feeling it's got something to do with confidence....if anyone has any comments on this I'd be interested to hear.

  • I agree with you on the confidence aspect. The amount of time I spent not liking my reflection is unreal. However when photos are printed I'm not that bad. I just seem to feel so big(I have 2 dress sizes to lose which isn't too bad I know but to me it feels a lot more).

  • I sympathise as I am exactly the same. Rather than looking at the whole plan try to take it one meal at a time, and congratulate yourself when you get through the whole day of healthy eating. I am slowly accepting the fact that it doesn't matter how long it takes me as long as I try and do it carefully and sensibly. I have had enough of the quick fixes and fad diets. Be kind to yourself, if you have a bad day, just accept that you're human and keep going. Good luck with it x

  • Thank you. I've never really broken it down into meals before. I've always thought about how my day has been and how (little) exercise I achieve in the week. I'm always looking at the big picture and not the pieces in it. Thanks

  • Hi Hlb82, I'm new here too and feel exactly the same. We can do this!!! Sending you some determination vibes for tomorrow.

  • Ah thank you. I'll bounce them straight back! X

  • Thanks for all your comments guys....I thought some more about what I said earlier. The confidence thing- and I thought, it's like I'm afraid of something- maybe failing?? I did something earlier- take one step at a time- congratulate myself- and I actually felt like WOW- I can do this!!! But then something really stressful happened and of course my way to cope is by eating. I slipped. And just cannot get it back together again. That was last year November. I know it's really silly but I cannot seem to forgive myself for yet another failure......and that's why I get like this. Sometimes I even feel ashamed admitting all this. Maybe by just expressing what's going on for me, I might just get past this brain fog and get on with it for good. Replies welcome.

  • When I look back at how many times I've started a diet or how many times I've said 'this time next year I'll be thin' or the fact that I weigh the same now as I did 2 years ago, I can get quite depressed and label myself a failure, it's so easy to be hard on ourselves. I am trying to have a more positive attitude which is hard when I've spent years beating myself up. I celebrate the tiny victories like I have only lost 7 lb but my jeans already feel better and I like the feeling of losing weight. I had everyone over on Sunday for dinner and instead of thinking I can't have the puddings, I gave myself permission to eat the nice stuff, I didn't feel deprived and I didn't pig out thinking that I'd start again on Monday. Our attitude towards food is the key to our success. We can do this. Good luck x x

  • Wow! Congratulations on loosing half a stone! It's great to hear that you had your treat and had it in such a positive way. Well done x

  • When I'm stressed or anxious I tend to eat. It's sort of a way to take control but in a negative way. So if I've had a bad day, I'll take control of it by saying well I can eat what I want so I'll make it a bad day not you! Or, I'll look for a fix (I think it must be like smoking) to feel better from eating but the feeling better doesn't come. Is it similar or different for you ? I think it's all down to habits and breaking them but they are very hard to break for me at least

  • For me, I think I just go on autopilot, it's a way to soothe myself. Over the recent years I have recognised that I start to eat and tell myself that eating isn't going to solve my problem...and that kind of takes the edge off things so I can manage. It's only when I'm too stressed, then I can't stop....you are right about breaking habits. And it's hard for me too. ...from today I'm trying to get back on track......successful till now. Hope it keeps that way.


  • I went to a dance class yesterday and the teacher was discussing how a pupil was complaining about aching muscles and how they wanted to give up. I felt ashamed to think that would be me too. The other day I was doing some toning exercises , which the book claimed to take only 6 minutes, but 30 minutes later I finished. During which I kept saying " I can't do this". I changed my voice into that of my imaginary fitness coach and said "give me one more". It was unenjoyable and I didn't want to continue. Comical but I got to the end of my set. So I've decided it's ok to say " I can't" because this is the way I think, but I now need to say " I can't give up".

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