My inner sabotage

[fiftyshadesofJ]

I am 58 retired and at 5ft 2in weigh a whopping 13st 5lb. I know I need to lose weight but my inner demon is over powering me. I can eat large tubs of ice cream and huge amounts of chocolate on my regular binges. I am being treated for depression/anxiety and wonder if the drugs Fluoxetine and Amytriplene are heightening my urge to binge. I have in the past lost four stones going to a slimming club but could not sustain this long term as I was always ravenous. I usually feel fatigued and lacking in motivation. Just wish I could switch off these negative signals, it would be nice to think that my body would send me a subliminal "thank you" when I give it the healthy stuff. It just feels like a war. Me V my body

[George56]

Hi ! I'm new to. Good morning. Administrator will be with you soon I'm sure. Good luck with your journey and the support from the group forum is 1st. Class. George 56

[YellowRose55]

Morning fiftyshadesofJ

Welcome to the weight loss forum. My daughter take the same medication as you and as gained some weight since starting them so you may be right.

Take a look at the Welcome Newbie post in the Pinned post section at the right hand side of the screen or if your on a mobile at the bottom. Have a look at the nhs 12 week plan, many members have had success following this plan. Use the BMI checker to work out your daily calorie allowance.

Below the Pinned posts are the Topics where members share a range of weight related subjects.

Take your measurements at the start along with a photo so you can see the changes when the scales don't move.

We have weigh-ins every day so why not come and join us. You can find the weigh-in on the Home page in the Events section on the right. Just click on the post and state your start weight and any loss/gain or maintain for the week.

To get the best out of the forum be active, share experiences, tips and recipes. Read some of the posts they can be very inspiring and motivate you along the way.

Have a great first week.

Rose

[Hidden]

Hello there!

Well done for making the step to do something about your weight, that's an achievement in itself.

I'm going to share something with you, I too have the conditions depression and anxiety and the two together are horrendous. I know this. I have been taking a variety of medicine to 'treat' my conditions for years, I've had counseling and I've been at the very bottom of the pit of depression many times. I've amazed myself that I'm still here! With all this in mind I wish to congratulate you on fighting the struggle and facing up to your weight issue. I hope losing some weight will help your confidence and depression, which in a way it has helped me. No, it's not cured me but I do feel better about myself now. I'm sure in time you will experience these benefits too.

I also know that these conditions can make weight-loss very tricky. For example, when I have a full on anxiety attack it can leave me feeling very weak, unstable and vulnerable. Yesterday, I had one of these attacks - I felt awful and ashamed and weak and ended up purchasing 'comfort' items - some books, a loaf of bread and a multi-pack of crisps. I then went home and binged and retreated to the world in my books. Hell have no fury for the person to tell me off for that. I needed that sort of comfort at that point and trying to lose weight when suffering from not only depression but also anxiety is no mean feat and there will be times you binge, when you want to curl up and just disappear. Face that now, knowing you will fall but also tell yourself you will also get back up. Today people would hardly believe that I was a blubbering wreck yesterday but being on here has taught me that it's okay not to be perfect. It's getting back up and trying again. I'm the same height as you and when I joined I was also bigger than you too (over 15 stone). I'm now less than a stone away from a healthy BMI, run regularly and feel a lot better about myself. I just want you to know you can do this, it might take time but being on here is a massive help. Use it!

The battle is real but you just need the tools and the skills to use those tools to help you. You can do this but also be kind with yourself. There is a wonderful 'Newbie' thread in the right hand section, that will introduce you to the forum and have tons of advice. Don't be afraid to ask these wonderful people when you need help either. We're all in this together.

Good luck and I hope to see you around.

Sazkia ♥

[CaptainRainbow 10 kg]

If it's any consolation, I'm the same height as you, and I'd love to weigh 13st 5!!!

In my experience, fluoxetine and amytripteline aren't the worst ADs for weight gain, SSRIs aren't especially known for increasing hunger, although everyone is different. For me, mirtazapine caused a 3st weight gain in 18 months, it's annoying that it was a very effective drug however, paradoxical side effects can happen, like increasing urges to self harm on ADs can happen so perhaps it could be something like that?

Battling binge eating is one of the hardest things - if you quit cigarettes (for example), you don't buy them, you don't be around them and it's easier to stop. When it's issues surrounding food, you still need to eat 3 times a day! Again, my personal experience (not necessarily one you'll have) was that in order to tackle bad coping mechanisms, such as binge eating, it was much easier when my mental health was being supported - it's not easy to let go of how you cope when you're still struggling! Are you in a position where you can seek the support of a counsellor or therapist for your depression and binge eating problems? Because I often found if I wasn't well, I'd end up replacing one bad coping mechanism with another, (e.g. binge eating for self harm, or drinking).

However!! On the plus side, you've done it before, you can certainly do it again

[Hidden in reply to CaptainRainbow]

Funny you should say that - I gained a lot of weight when I was taking fluoxetine. However, I have successfully lost over 4 stone while taking mirtazapine! It's actually the best drug I've taken for my depression by far. It just shows how drugs do have quite different effects on people!

[CaptainRainbow 10 kg in reply to Hidden]

Really? No way! I've never ever heard of anyone not putting on weight on mirtazapine, how bizarre! Yes, it's a fantastic drug, but after the weight gain and I slept through a fire alarm at uni (it wasn't a drill, either..) I just had to come off it. It was a shame to come off it, but I'm on trazodone now, which seems to have the least side effects, and I still get a wide range of emotions, which is better than being zombied! It's fascinating how the same thing can work in different ways for different people - it's why I'm usually careful to say "in my experience" instead of trying to put it out as fact.

[Hidden in reply to CaptainRainbow]

Were you taking 15mg? I was originally on that dose and yes, it made me very sleepy; as in it knocked me right out! However, I talked to my Dr and they upped my dose because I didn't like it on 15mg as I was just tired all the time and guess what? I barely feel tired at all now, although I still take the medication before bed I wake up during the night if I hear something so not a problem. It's something to do with a higher dose passing the threshold so you don't experience the tiredness. I'm sure google could explain it better. I also talked to my Dr about weight gain and mirtazapine before switching to it because of what I had experienced taking fluoxetine and the Dr reassured me that mirtazapine shouldn't make me gain weight and that none of their other patients had any problems with weight gain when taking it either. Like I said, best drug I've taken for my depression and anxiety. I also don't feel like a 'zombie' taking it, I'm probably one of the most expressive members on the forum lmao!!!

Sazkia

[CaptainRainbow 10 kg in reply to Hidden]

No, I was never on 15mg, went from 30mg and very quickly to 45mg. Still slept for 12 hours a night if left to my own devices, and regularly slept through alarms. It was one thing at uni, but there's no way in hell I could be on that now I'm working.. so yes, I'm aware of the higher dose/dopamine/less drowsy phenomenon, but I came off it 6 years ago and would never go back to it! But yes, I literally do not know anyone (except you!) that didn't gain weight, most people I know came off it after a month or two because of that. It was exactly what I needed while I was going through CBT because it zoned me out enough to talk about the really awful stuff without suffering, but now I'm more equipped to deal with life, I wouldn't touch it again unless I was in crisis.

[Hidden in reply to CaptainRainbow]

That's very interesting (that you experienced those side effects on that dosage) and you've never heard, until now that it, about people not gaining weight or being able to feel all their emotions while taking it. I have to say, I'm the opposite. I hear a lot of good things about it from people on-line and in real life, how great this drug has been for them.

However, I'm sorry you didn't experience this for yourself. It must have been frustrating for you. We're not all the same as we've both clarified before so I guess it's not surprising to learn we have different reactions to the drug. I am glad to learn you have found a drug that works for you though, that's the main thing.

Enjoy the rest of your day!

[CaptainRainbow 10 kg in reply to Hidden]

Oh I've known people to have their emotions, but for me, it cut off the top end as well as the bottom end of mine. It was necessary at the time to not really feel. If we didn't all react differently, it wouldn't be a multi million pound industry with dozens of different drugs! I am also glad you had a positive experience (lord knows we all need it). Good day to you too

[Hidden in reply to CaptainRainbow]

That's true, as long we find what works for each of us then that's what matters. I'm having a good day, just got back from walking my fur baby on the beach, which is why I delayed in responding.

[AnnTandy 1 stone]

Perhaps you need to be kinder to yourself sometimes, Fiftyshadesofj? You describe your weight as "whopping", as though it's something to be ashamed of, but it's just weight, and isn't it society's view of what's "not whopping" that makes you feel that way? It's taken you a long time to get to that weight, it will take equal time to lose it. If you accept that fact as you start your journey, rather than judging yourself a failure for being where you are, things might not seem so insurmountable. I expect we've all been through the bingeing process, but we've also probably had days when we preferred to eat healthily and sensibly rather than binge. As time goes on hopefully those days will balance themselves out and you'll start to see real results like lots of other people on this site, which in turn will increase your motivation to continue. There's a lot of help and support available here, from people who've often been in exactly the place you might be in at any given moment, and the very best advice I can give if you want it is to really explore what's there to find whatever support you might need.