Hello and advice?

Hi! I'm a newbie so thought I'd introduce myself. Basically I've been trying to loose weight for so long now. Its so hard. I've put on 2 st in two years and I'm finding it difficult to cope with. My self- esteem is at an all time low. I'm hoping by getting involved in this community it will help me get motivated. 

I would love some advice about how to diet whilst living with someone who has no interest in dieting? My partner buys treats for himself like packs of biscuits or chocolate bars. I vow that I won't eat them but when I get home I can't help but sneak a few biccies! I guess that's where I need to start- by cutting out snacking. Any tips/thoughts? 

(Sorry for long post)


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10 Replies

  • Yours is a post I imagine lots of us can relate to, I lovingly refer to my other half as a 'feeder' because of the snacks he keeps buying (you can guess my problem by my username). A few things that I find help are:

    1. First remember your body weight doesn't define you, it is something to control to keep you healthy but don't forget why you are a great person irrespective of what you weigh (I lost five great things about me when feeling low)

    2. Exercise exercise exercise -I find I have to plan for it and mentally prepare. The endorphins however are well worth the planning -even 10 mins each morning

    3. Track progress - it keeps you motivated and even if you are not where you want to be you can think at least I'm better today than I was last week so it is something to build on

    4. Keep lots of healthy snacks in the fridge -thank you carrots, apples (they attack fat receptors apparently). I feel it helps me remind myself that I have a choice when I want to snack

    And finally ...

    5. When you do snack don't give in to the guilt/self loathing. We all lead busy and sometimes a bit lonely lives. Just pick yourself up and right then, I'll do better today. For example last night the feeder brought me an ice cream...off for a run now then! 

    Good luck, you can definitely do this.

    E x

  • hi, I am only the one that eats healthy in my home,, started dieting 6 weeks ago was 15 when I started now 13 stone 11, ave cut out biscuits altogether even though I cud eat a half a packet with a cup of tea, u have to start saying no hav an apple or grapes instead, first week was hard was hungry all the time, it does get better, good luck to you

  • Hi. Your post sounds like it was written by me ! I'm in exactly the same position, as sad as it is. During a heated discussion last night he told me I'm this fat because I eat too much crap! Yet he classes fruit, low fat yoghurt and oats as crap ! I'm seeing a counceller at the moment too, and like you my self esteem is so low. I've just enrolled in My Weight Matters, so am at the beginning of trying to sort out my weight and BMI . But it's hard when the person you love, doesn't support you :-(

    I've brought a Fitbit charge so that I can start exercising more, and being motivated by friends. But it's a very hard job ! X

  • Check how much sugar is in your low fat yoghurt. I believe sugar is the culprit. Recently I have also cut down a bit on fruits as overdosing on glucose may not be a good idea. i used to have a minimum of 3 fruits a day or 21 a week now I am down to 10 or 12 a week. Increase your vegetable intake I would say.

  • Hi GinaBury. Biscuits were my downfall too but after 8 weeks on calories allowance I have got used to not having them and I never thought I would.  I have found caramel rice cakes (Snack a Jacks) and they are a good substitute for me. Only 51 calories for one of the big ones. My husband comes home with treats too and often buys cheesecakes/apple pie for desert as he loves puddings which I don't buy. I used to join in but I know now that I would rather be slimmer and healthier long term that eat a portion of cheesecake which I will enjoy for about 10 mins. This forum has absolutely kept me motivated and whenever I feel like I am going to wobble I come on here and soon feel better again. I really hope it helps you too and you can change your thought process towards those biscuits :)

  • It's not easy living with someone who tries to sabotage you, trust me I know! Wish I could say there's an easy way round it, but there isn't. You just need to be even stronger than people with a supportive partner. I do believe half their trouble is a fear that a new more attractive you will find someone else. Also so long as they don't keep shoving choccie bars in our faces we have to respect the fact that only one of us is on a diet and it's not them.

  • That's very very true. There's been packets of chocolate on the side since the shopping arrived, plus lots of packets of biscuits , and I've not touched them. Though the tenptation was so great. I kept thinking to myself , I'd only get "told you so" if I did eat them. So I had a handful of Cheerios instead. I've increased my walking lots since buying a Fitbit, but a tad over enthusiastically as I've pulled a tendon in my foot now. Which has angered me ! Just trying to remain positive , and trying to do this for me. He may not be supportive , but I can come here for the support and encouragement ! Hope your bank holiday went well :-)

  • Hi and welcome Gina :)

    I suspect that a large percentage of us live with partners, or children, who have no need for, or interest in, losing weight. However, healthy eating is a desirable thing for everyone, regardless of age, or size. 

    My OH eats what I cook, but eats more than I do and has the occasional "unhealthy" treat, eg biscuits, cakes, chocolate etc. I know that these are his and nothing to do with me! I do not eat them at all! That is my choice.

    I rarely snack, because my meals satisfy me, but if I'm very hungry between meals, I'll eat some nuts, or a piece of cheese, both of which satiate hunger without causing me to crave more, as anything sugary will do. I have recently had a bout of the munchies, brought on by a temporary loss of mojo, but haven't eaten anything other than nuts, cheese, cucumber, celery and cherry tomatoes :)

    I firmly believe, that for some of us, a little of what we fancy DOESN'T do us good, it makes us want a lot more! You need to decide whether you fall into this category too :)

    I apologise for the even longer post :)

  • I should have said to have a look at our welcome newbie thread, which is in the pinned posts section at the top right of your screen, alongside some motivating and fun challenges :0

    I'd also like to invite you to join us at our monday group weigh-in. This is a link to last mondays


    Wishing you all the very best :)

  • Wow, you sound like me! My first thought was trying to cut out the snacks too. I'm half way through my first day, so far so good! 

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