No more false dawns

So I am 367lbs and morbidly obese. Writing those words took longer than it should have done but it is hard to admit how bad things have got. I am addicted to food and I can't seem to get it under control.

Maybe the mountain seems to big to climb and I am afraid of failing again so it is easier not to do anything......

But I have a wonderful family, a gorgeous wife and two beautiful children aged 5 & 6.

I have a great job and a superb group of friends.

I am not silly, I know what I should and shouldn't be eating. I know how much more I should be moving so why can't I do it?

I am hoping that by sharing this with you and by admitting to myself finally how bad this has become that I kick start myself and get on the right track.

I would love to hear from anyone who has been in a similar place and to hear about what is working for you.

22 Replies

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  • Hi ynwa1981,

    A very warm welcome to you, and really glad you've joined the Weight Loss NHS community forum.  We have a Welcome Newbie post, which I'd like to give you the link for:

    healthunlocked.com/nhsweigh...

    Speaking personally, the NHS 12 week plan has been a really helpful plan to lose weight, but what is inspiring and motivating on top of that is the community forum and being alongside others on a similar weight loss journey.  It is invaluable support and help and really does help to interact with like-minded people who are at different stages of their own journeys.  

    It's a friendly and supportive community.  I was 18 stone 8 pounds at my heaviest, and now I'm just under 13 stone.  I feel so much fitter and healthier - and the support and enthusiasm of people in this forum has really helped me to stick with things.

    I think it's great that you've come here today, and I hope you'll enjoy being part of this community.

    Do join us for the Monday group weigh-in sessions if you would like to participate - it is detailed within the Welcome Newbie post if you want to read about it.

    Have a good week.

    Lowcal :-)

  • Hi ynwa1981 

    I think knowing that you should be doing something differently is a great start.

    I have (had) the same problem, I love food - I can eat and eat without feeling full.

    Back in October 2014 I have started my weight loss journey when I popped on the scales and it said 104.5 kg. I couldn't believe my eyes.

    At that point I just started tracking how many calories I'm actually consuming and did my research into how much I should be consuming and then "simply" started reducing my calories and started walking more.

    I've now managed to reduce my weight by 38 kg so far and went from morbidly obese (III) on the BMI scale to overweight, with only 2.7 points to go to be in the "healthy" range.

    I'm planning on losing another 16 or so kg, so in the end, I will have basically cut myself in half weight-wise, once I reach my final goal.

    For me the taking it slowly has done the trick - decrease the food gradually and in the same way increase the exercise - bit by bit.

    I'm now at a stage where I can go for 15-20 mile hikes without being exhausted at all. When I started I could barely do 3 miles without aching and wanting a big old lunch break...

    So my advise is to take everything in small steps, set yourself little goals that are achievable in a short space of time, it's something that kept me motivated to set the next "mini-goal".

    I hope you find a way that works for you.

    Best of luck! :)

  • Thank you for taking the time to reply - mini goals seems like the best solution!

  • That is a very sensible and useful approach to share thank you.

  • Hi ynwa1981, don't worry about starting and failing, start, try things out and move on to try other things if it doesn't work for you. There are so many good reasons to permanently adopt healthy eating and exercise habits, you'll find your own. 

    Look forward to hearing how you get on...💐

  • Great concept, start, if it doesn't work  just keep going till you find a variation of the theme that works for you. I enjoy hearing all the advice that other people share and it kind of refreshes my own journey  by giving me food for thought! Same goal only we are all different and have different lifestyles, things to juggle etc etc. Lots of the ideas help bolster the same objective. It is not a competition.

  • You are just a young person with their whole life ahead of them so it is great you are no longer in denial.  Get in the driving seat of your life and take control - plan what you are going to do to change things. 

    The task is no bigger than choosing to have a fruit tea instead of a Starbucks Coffee, an orange instead of a Chocolate bar, a steak instead of a pie, a baked apple instead of a steamed pudding - it is a whole lot of small steps to take you to the top of that mountain. (Throw in a bit of walking too - it all helps).

    Keep in mind that as they grow, your children will want you to take them tree-climbing cycling and swimming - you can be a fit and active parent in a year from now if you decide to do it. Read the success stories here and on the online calorie counting sites - you can do it too!

  • Great advice DD 😊

  • Awesome reply - thank you

  • Hello ynwa1981 

    I think we have all been in a similar position to where you are now and I wish I could wave a magic wand for you 😕 You are not alone. 

    What worked for me were firstly, Finding the right eating plan, generous calorie allowance, lots to eat, proper food and treats allowed, I love my food and love to cook 😊 Secondly, Having small goals, 5% off to start with, then 10%. This will make such a difference to your general health and fitness. A third consequence has been the creating of good eating habits so I can now go out to eat, go on holiday etc and not gain 😊 

    You need a bit of self belief, do some research, find the right eating plan for you and your lifestyle, if you can, get your family on board too as their support will be a massive asset. Healthy eating will benefit them too 😊 

    Very best wishes, 😊

  • Thanks very much!

  • Hi sweetie, welcome, I joined here on Monday. I'm a veteran dieter and at my heaviest I was 308lb at the moment I'm 244lb which has taken a year on and off. 

    I suppose all I can offer is that you are here and even if you don't succeed one day there will be days when you do and that's better than doing nothing at all. Failure is accepting your lot and allowing it to continue, success is taking charge and attempting to change. There is no quick fix, you didn't get fat overnight so don't be too hard on yourself with unrealistic expectations. Baby steps is all that is required for today. 

    I don't k ow if you exercise or not at the moment but for me it's been my salvation. I have always dieted first and then thought about exercise later but later never came cos I started eating again. This time round I paid no attention to food and just exercised for 4 months and ate what I fancied then once the exercise was a habit then I started looking at food. I have kept the weight off for a year so far. Still a lot to lose but I feel so healthy and exercise has changed my life. Good luck xxxx

  • Hey Ynwa1981,

    You are so not alone here as you are already seeing :)

    I started out last Feb at 343lbs and have since lost 70lb. Still a long way to go but you'd be amazed how great I felt after losing 4 stone - it is so worth it!

    I'd recommend cutting down on snacking and portion sizes. Also take a look at your meals generally, you'd be surprised what a difference a few small changes can make.

    If you don't walk much then I suggest doing this - even just 20 minutes a day. Perhaps you can take children with you too :) You will feel better for it.

    Keep checking in with us here as it truly is a great place for motivation, advice & support.

    Good luck :)

  • I guess I was pretty close at 5' and an optimistic 2", I was 267lbs before I decided to tackle it last September.  Since then, I have lost 72lbs and have another 52lbs to go to get to the upper limit of my "healthy" BMI range.

    I started to attempt to break the addiction by cutting out sugar entirely and that stopped me eating the sweet things, trouble is, I made up for it with savoury snacks and it wasn't until I joined here and made a start that the weight begin to come off.

    As a matter of interest, I am following an Australian guy on YouTube, who has pledged to eat only potatoes for a whole year to cure his food addiction.  It is very interesting and, so far, it is working.  Here is the link if you want to see it: youtube.com/channel/UC1jo7m...

    Anyway, just make a start and do the BMI test to see how many calories a day you can eat and still lose weight - you will be pleasantly surprised!

  • Really interesting - thanks for taking the time to reply

  • Lots of people on here, most of us are like you ;).  I am only 5ft tall (nearly) and hit 214lb 8 and a half weeks ago.  I just bit the bullet and went low carb (max50g pd), low fat (only the healthy stuff you get from eating plenty of fish and lean meat), low calorie (500-700 pd), tons of veg that is not carb riddled and sugar free jellies.  Just over a stone and a half down now first challenge another 1st and 6lb by the 4th July.

    So daft dance without letting your feet leave the floor whenever you can, wherever you are.  Remember 90cal is a one mile walk or run.  Burn off what you eat, all that you eat, if you can't burn it off don't eat it.  That way your body will burn the fat.  You will not go dizzy unless you are ill and you should get checked out before you start.

    So daft dance

    eat sugar free jellies

    take supplements inc omega 3 oil

    Trust me you will drop that weight by a stone in the first couple of weeks and it will make you feel good.  After about 6 weeks if you try to eat things you should not you will start to feel sick, your taste buds will have changed, fruit will taste like the sweetest thing on the planet.  I have a couple of squares of chocologic dark as a treat and have started dabbling with resistant starch and whey protein.  But the first month you have to go hard and retrain your brain.  I have eaten pineapple (in moderation) and pickled beetroot.  Currently doing 2 days a week eating strawberries (4 large ones), plums (4) and pineapple (4 rings) only for breki and lunch.  protein and lots of veg for dinner.  Other days back to tuna, eggs and lots of cabbage and beetroot etc. for meals. 

    the first stone will let you move more, do high intensity, 2:1 ie 2 minutes then break while heart rate drops then ramp it up again and repeat for 20 minutes.  That's why dancing is good, natural breaks.

    Good luck, I am determined to get rid of another 20lb then slow down a bit.  You can have skimmed milk for your tea coffee 300ml ;)

    You can do this, you will do this, we all will do this!

  • I have tried and failed so many times that I have lost count. The biggest problem I face is thinking about how long it will take to get where I want to be. The truth is it does seem scary and when you start you just can't stand the idea of dieting,counting calories and exercising for that long leading to people giving up in a weeks time. Then we have people talking about weight loss is not about yo yo diets and exercising like a cray person for a few days, but is a lifestyle change. As tough as it sounds we know we can choose only 1 out of the two available options 1) Do whatever you are doing and remain the same or 2) Start working towards the person you want to be. There are a few things I would like to mention that I am currently following:

    1)Take it one day at a time:Don't look at how long you have to do this for. Just look at what you have to do on that particular day including eating healthy and exercising.

    2) Break it into smaller achievable goals : It is scary to think about losing all the weight in one go, therefore target 3-5kilos in a particular amount of time and make sure the time assigned is easily achievable.

    3)It is a lifestyle change eventually: I have been on all sort of diets all my life and can guarantee that it is not going to be of any help. Eat whatever you usually do in the start but reduce the quantity and add 1 meal with veggies and proteins for 10 days. After 10 days start replacing your high calorie foods with healthier food slowly and follow each cycle for 10 days or longer if required. Start walking 30minutes a day and increase gradually. Now as you keep doing this slowly by slowly you will get used to it and will be happy to see how it becomes a part of your life. 

    4) Love yourself as much as your wife and children love you: Many a times after putting on weight we tend to be really harsh on ourselves. You will get there,you will get fitter and you can do it. It is important to love and trust yourself. 

    This is a great forum for help and support and I can guarantee that. :-)

    P.S My journey has just begun and if I can stick to it, anyone can. :-)

  • Lovely reply 😊

  • You are all awesome - thank you for the support and I will keep you posted!

  • As has been suggested baby steps- just check out the site lowcall has suggested to orientate yourself. I would not make drastic changes- as this will be hard. Check out my fitness pal - to look at what calories you can eat a day- and log all your food for a week and see what you are eating. You can think about portion control, what's worth eating etc. but try to build in treats- you will find it hard otherwise. You can also put all your measurements- weight, waist chest bmi etc. often when I feel down in the dumps - seeing how far I have progressed can help.  All that fiddling with technology and looking at stats etc keeps our brains occupied. Exercise - walking is great - just a bit to get you moving- more than anything it is good for our soul.

    Yep- the 12 week plan I think would work very well for you. Hope to see you at lowcals Monday weigh in.

    Really good luck:-)

  • Hi, I joined this forum a week ago,both my friend and I have battled with our weight and are still not feeling confident enough to announce what we weigh,but the support on here has been amazing and so far I have made a loss of 8 lbs in the first week, I am using the Nutra check app to calorie count and it also stores your weigh ins and has a food and exercise diary.

     I am eating a lot more than usual but I have avoided too much processed food, no alcohol (but I don't drink) and cut my caffeine intake to 3 coffee or teas a day (lots of natural foods salad,fruit,nuts,veg) and chicken is the best meat to go for, like I say I lost 8 lbs and had a Cadburys flake this week, but it doesn't matter what you eat as long as you stay in your calorie allowance keep it written down or on an app, but the lower kcals in the food the more you can eat.

    Good luck and stay positive.

  • Congratulations on your honesty, the only advice I can give is to remember, small steps can climb mountains, a hard road brings the most benefits, and miracles take a long time to come but they do happen. We all forget how we got to where we are for (what ever reason) just remember when things get tough you didn't arrive at this destination overnight, week or year, so don't expect to achieve what you want in weeks lots of love, and support and look forward to achieving your ultimate goal and have a long and happy life with your children. xxx

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