Christmas Joke!

Hi all, I'm new to this group and need support! Christmas Day was really lovely but as usual I was the but of everyone's jokes because I'm fat. Things like, 'better get some of what's in front of Sam before she eats it all' and 'careful because Sam has seen you unwrap chocolates and she might snatch it out of your hand' Normally I can take it all in my stride but as I came home in the car I had to fight back tears until I was in the safety of the shower where I can cry about my weight without the shame. I've got to change things and any advice would be greatly received. Advice from my family is normally along the lines of PUT THE FORK DOWN which doesn't help :(. I'm proper miserable and not at all jolly on the inside. I might be fat but my feelings are still the same. Sorry to be such a moan at Christmas time.

13 Replies

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  • Hi Princess-Haywood.

    Welcome to this great site. I hope that you find the comments, postings and advice on this site incredibly supportive and helpful. You are not on your own, you don't have to be jolly-ever and whatever you need to know someone here can help.

    For me finding this site was incredibly helpful - precisely because members of my lovely family often don't know how to help or how to cope with family level issues around food, weight gain and obesity. (They have improved this year)

    Two other things you might look for today while you plan your next moves:

    -the NHS 12 week plan and the NHS live well site, at least read through it, even if it looks daunting,

    -The postings on this site -especially lowcals thread on Monday morning "please join me for a Monday morning weighin" -gives a great picture of how this works for everyone.

    -If you have a smart phone -look at the free Apps, walk logger, Endomondo and MyfitnessPal. There are probably others.

    Good luck lovely, feel better. 🌺

  • Hi P-H,

    So sorry your family are so cruel. I am lucky most people around me have never made a joke of my weight.

    You shouldn't change for them but if you are overweight and you want to then do it for yourself as you will feel so much better I promise :)

    As Gonti has said this is a fab site so make the most of it.

    Once you start to feel into control you will feel so much better about yourself and maybe once your family see you making the changes their comments will be more thoughtful.

    Good luck for 2016 :)

  • Sam I was were you are for a lot of my life and like you i was blessed with a naturally thin family who thought they were helping or encouraging me to lose weight by making my weight a joke.

    Firstly come out of the shower and tell them all that you intend losing weight and then show them and more importantly yourself by getting serious about losing it.You will be amazed how quickly you can turn the negative bantor into positive comments once they see your serious and the people who do not change just ignore them.

    The NHS weight plan is a good eating plan or design your own plan round it or consider joining one of the slimming clubs .Be strict with yourself and your family its your life and your health and only you can take control of it. For me low carb,low sugar was and is still the key to maintaining a normal weight plus walking every day.Dont be frightened to talk about your diet in front of and to your family or to refuse food that are not suitable to eat on your diet eg, substitue green vegs for potatoes,cook them yourself if you have to.

    The main thing is you need to decide that you can change your weight and you will be surprised how quickly you will see results.

  • How truly horrid for people to insult you to the extent that it brings you to tears. I think it's important to tell people that they're being insulting and not allow it to get to that stage.

    That said, you will find this forum very useful and supportive in turning your life round by losing weight and becoming more healthy and I welcome you and look forward to your future posts.

    :)

  • I agree with Tewson that it's important to make sure people who you love and who love you know when they've said something that hurts you. If it's reached the point where it's become a sort of 'culture' of jokes about your weight, then this may not seem so easy. But you have to start somewhere, and you have to believe that people don't really mean to hurt you as much as they do - imagine the reaction if they'd seen your tears - maybe it would be better if they'd seen them? Just losing weight won't fix it alone. I really recommend preparing phrases that you are ready with so that you can answer such comments as you receive them, and not build up the resentment inside. Then maybe you might have a chance of dealing with such comments constructively. Weight loss is a slow process, so dealing with the comments is something you'll still need to do for a while yet - we've all had to deal with this too. I also advocate seeing weight-loss as a change of lifestyle. The NHS 12 week plan is great for that along with all the other NHS live-well advice as Gonti's suggested. And also working out how to explain what you're doing to people around you is part of it too. You're not proving anything to anyone else, so explain it in terms of your health, your own goals, things you want for yourself. It starts with you. Good luck :)

  • No one here will ever do that.

  • Hi Sam,

    I can't really add to the things others have already said to you, except to say that I hope you'll join us for tomorrow's Monday group weigh-in, if you'd like to be part of it. We'd love to have you on board. Being part of a group can be really encouraging and help you keep focused on your weight loss goals.

    Really sorry to hear that you didn't have support from your family this Christmas, and I suspect they might regret their jokes, if they realised how hurt you've been by them.

    I hope you're enjoying your weekend so far, and maybe see you at tomorrow's weigh-in, if you fancy joining us. I'll be posting it just before 7am.

    Hope to see you around and about in the forum, whatever you decide to do, and good luck with everything.

    Lowcal :-)

  • Hiya, ive had such lovely replies all of which have made me feel quite emotional but in a good way this time.

    I would love to join the weigh in but not sure how I do it 😕 If you tell me how I will be there.

    Thanks,

    Sam xx

  • Hi Sam,

    You can either look out for it, as I will post it before 7am tomorrow, and it will have the title "Please Join Me for A Monday Group Weigh-in (current date in brackets)"

    or

    you could click on 'follow' and my name (Lowcal) and then you'd be automatically notified when I post the thread.

    But it should be easy to find, as it will be up before 7am tomorrow (28th December) and therefore you should spot it easily.

    Will look forward to seeing you tomorrow at the weigh-in - great to have you on board with us. :-)

    Lowcal :-)

  • As a maintainer ( well I'll be a minor gainer tomm), the Monday weigh in, makes me feel accountable to us here, madness really.

    We all get 'just because I can ' eat days. We all help each other , my first and prob one of my tips I used when I started to lose weight ( back in 2012) is try to portion stuff.

    I do find stuff in packets , in portion sizes easier to handle, and manage

  • Hi Sam,

    I wanted to tell you that I know exactly how you feel sweetie. I used to get it all the time from my Mum of all people. She's dead now and I wish she could see me now. I can't really add to all of the above but suffice to say, learn to love yourself little by little and you will get there. Don't try to change everything at once, baby steps.

    There is no judgement here, nobody to tell you you are fat, there is nothing but support.

    You can do this and there is strength in numbers. Always here if you need to chat.

    Sending big hugs.

    E xxx

  • Please believe in yourself you can do it, take each day and make sure that is a good day, try to use the time to do something new so you feel you have achieved something else and keep reading this. Don't be depressed if you have a lot to lose each day will count. good luck x

  • That's really horrid. People are such plonkers sometimes. Well I think it's time to show them what you're really made of. It's very cruel and upsetting but we are all on this journey together so make a start with us. This is really for you not them so think how wonderful it will be when you are in control of your eating and the weight begins to shift. Next year you will be the one smiling not crying in the shower. Download the plan, stay within your calorie allowance. I use myfitnesspal it's a free app. Try to move more everyday and stay close to this forum and we will all support you. You can do it and I wish you well.

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