I don't want to diet...I want to trust my body and forget about food

I find dieting makes me think about food too much. And takes away my body's decision making responsibility.

I believe that my body - everybody's body - has the capacity to heal from obesity. Naturally. Without rigidity. Uniquely finding what's right for you.

Is anyone else of the same mindset?


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44 Replies

  • I find it's my emotions that make my decisions so if I learn to manage those, food won't be a problem. If I give my body sugary things it just craves for more and I lose control. I'm still trying to find my own way but do believe I will get there. Hope you do too!

  • Food and feelings are very tied up, aren't they - and processed sugary foods are 'treats rewards and goodies' to our inner child. Food for thought. Thank you.

  • My husband died a number of years ago. He used to have a good saying that I try to remember when I'm watching my weight: "What goes in goes ON!"

    I think trusting your body is a good idea, as is having faith and honesty in what you're eating.

    Good luck.

  • What you eat becomes part of you - too true. Your husband sounds a wise man. I lost my mum last month, and she had food issues and body image issues all her life. I hope I can find the natural balance I long for. Thanks so much

  • Me too. Had enough of counting calories. Have you read Amelia Freer's book - Eat Nourish Glow? I am on Day 2. Truly believe sugar is the number one enemy!

    Good luck

  • I will look out for that book. I do agree that my body is disrupted by sugary things. Let me know how you get on. Thanks.

  • Lots of sound advice here.....thank you ladies 😀

  • hello..

    just dont forget to exercise :)

    trusting your body too much without any regular workout is no good too..

  • Good point. I like dancing walking and swimming but all too often I find myself 'too busy' to make time for it. Thanks for the wake up call

  • If you're in place where you need to lose weight "your body's decision making responsibility" hasn't been very responsible.

    Try not to think of it as dieting. Think of it as making better long term nutritious & healthy choices that will serve your body & mind.

    Yes there will be constant thinking, planning about food in the beginning as you re-educate yourself to what is better nutritiously for your body.

    This is more about giving yourself the tools and knowledge to make those better choices. So it will become second nature to you.

    Consistently making those better choices again and again will become something you do automatically thus diminishing the constant thinking aspect of it.

  • You are right. But there are plenty of normal weight people who don't make nutritious and healthy choices. And yet their bodies manage the input/output balance perfectly well, evidenced by their healthy BMI. The 'appestat' that tells us what when and how much to eat works whether food is nutritious or not. Obesity seems to me to be a result of appestat malfunction. Can dieting or food management cure this, or does it just treat the symptoms?

  • Too true, spot on.

  • I am following the Freedom Eating way of eating, as in Debbie Flint's book Till the Fat Lady Slims 2.0 The When Diet. Its not really a diet at all. The book is semi biographical about Debbie but it has lots of information and testimonal from people who have used it to help them lose weight and tips for changing the way you eat.

    I started with it about 6 months ago and I only eat when I'm hungry now and I've cut down on my carbs (because I'm diabetic), I exercise using a Body Blade or do Leslie Sansone Walk in the Home DVDs and although slow, my weight is coming down in the way that I like. I'm 63 and been overweight for years and so losing slowly means that it will, hopefully, stay off.

    I do recommend the book to everyone (men and women) to read the principles of freedom eating. Its available from Amazon as a proper book and also on Kindle (I have both versions an a hardback one from QVC which has some extra bits in it).

    Previously I'd always counted calories, logged my food on a weightloss site and became miserable when I didn't lose weight etc. Now, I don't beat myself up over it, that just makes it worse and leads to eating more. So, I swap out foods, eat off a smaller plate, always stop eating when my body "sighs", I don't put my knife and fork down and say I'll finish it in a minute! I put them down, put my napkin over the plate and push it away. Its amazing how you find yourself realising that you didn't need to eat as much as you thought you wanted to.

    Give Debbie's book a try, it is certainly working for me.

  • I will definitely have a look at her book. I have found Geneen Roth's books very interesting. Have you heard of her? I'm so glad you've found something that works for you. Well done. Keep at it.

  • Yes I agree, however, discovering triggers and how to deal with them is not easy. I do feel that generally we are unsupported across the health sector. If anorexic people were treated in the same way the doctor would give them a list of food and instruct them to "eat this, stop excessive exercise and don't make yourself sick - goodbye" Over eating is and should be recognised as an eating disorder. I am a compulsive overeater, I have done the slimming club thing and lost 4 stone, as is often the case, I was so hungry all the time that it was not something I could realistically take forward and adopt for life. The result, as for so many people, a weight gain of 5 1/2 stone. I have lost the one and 1/2 stone but the whole experience was destructive. Does anybody understand appetite and the message the stomach sends to the brain to tell it we are full. I am a really slow eater so I don't understand why I still feel hungry when my friends and family wolf it down and leave food on their plate hunger satisfied.

  • Eat "this, stop excessive exercise and don't make yourself sick - goodbye" :-)


    Soft Cheese

    2 Eggs any style

    2 Serving spoons vegetable casserole.


    Cheese or nuts

    1 small barely-ripe banana or 5 (preservative-free) dried-apricots

    3 oatcakes or quinoa (90g cooked weight).


    1 medium sweet potato or 1 cob sweetcorn or chickpeas (100g cooked weight).

    non-starchy roast vegetables or stir-fry greens

    palm-size meat or fish or seafood or poultry or game

    whipped double-cream and/or coconut.

    Adjust unspecified portion sizes to facilitate individual weight-management requirements.

  • Thank you 'Concerned', "Eat this and goodbye" just confirmed in your reply.

  • Goodbye in respect that you will be on your way to controlling your appetite by controlling your hormones :-)

    All the best!

  • Yes yes yes - there is much more to understanding obesity and overeating. It's a subject that fascinates me as I have been overweight and obese in varying degrees, including normal weight, since toddlerhood. It's strange that I've felt fatter at 10 stone in my younger days than at 13 stone in my forties.

    I too cannot get on with slimming clubs, although they do 'work' - they take over completely - and have a commercial interest in keeping you coming back, having tasted initial success. Syns and Points are not for me.

    There could even be a food intolerance involved in the not feeling full situation. Kinesiology tries to pinpoint that, but I think there maybe too many charlatans in that field to get an accurate result.

    Do keep in touch. I'm 15stone now and that's my heaviest. I want to get to the roots of the problem, and sounds like you do too. Maybe our journeys may have some similarities.

  • Thank you so much for this reply, at last I don't feel isolated, people who don't understand just tell us we are greedy, they do not understand the gnawing ache of hunger, the feelings of hopelessness when it comes 'knocking' a short time after consuming a healthy meal. OK, I confess I do binge when I am stressed and crave sugar when I am tired, which is most of the time. I think there is no 'one size fits all' solution, but to be able to find empathy here is wonderful!! Yes I will keep in touch.

  • Hello friend.

    I too stress eat and have sugar binges. The solution I believe is probably ridiculously simple and definitely lies within.

    I had an under active thyroid diagnosed about 10 years ago, but that hasn't made a difference to my weight problem. It has helped with the bone deep tiredness. I think the surrounding situation may be involved too... Work, family, partner, home etc.

    Out of interest do you have clutter in the home or have excessive belongings - books shoes clothes niknaks etc?

    It could be food hoarding, like squirrelling. Maybe we need to hibernate for 6 months in Alaska.

    I will enjoy bouncing ideas off you and I am grateful for your companionship.

    Take care talk soon

    I might not respond till Sunday night as we are off to Download music festival for the weekend.

  • Hi, yes I do hoard possessions and feel a sense of security having large amounts of food in the house. I have been to the hospital today for blood tests and will find out in three weeks time if I have an under active thyroid.

    Have a great time at the festival though I fear the weather is not looking too promising, but then that is usually the case at these festivals. Take care

  • Yeah, I know what you mean, but I think a lot of us have blocked out the things our bodies are really trying to tell us, like: "That's enough" or "You should get some sleep instead of eating more to compensate for tiredness". Instead we often listen to the wrong voices (all backed up by advertising, of course) and buy into the lies that tell us that what we really need is more and now.

    Still, I'm with you that we should get back to listening properly to our bodies -- that's what I'm trying to do, as of this week! Good luck!

  • Ah yes the voices..... I know them well. Yes - maybe my body is throwing a tantrum for not feeling heard for the last ever-so-long half century.

    I wonder whether meditation would help tune back in.

    Good luck to you too - let me know how your week goes.

  • I struggle with diets but I am now doing the 5/2 diet... Suits me fine. 2 days of dieting and 5 of eating as I please. As long as it is followed as documented, it really does work.

  • I'm so glad you found something that works for you. Everyone must have something that's just the perfect solution for where they are now. It's tricky to find it - so very well done

  • Knowledge is power. Have a read of the book "Fat Chance" by Robert Lustig, an American obesity expert, who explains how food affects our bodies, how the chemicals that make us feel hungry or full up are affected by the type of food we eat. It isn't a 'diet' book, but a book about how to eat healthily. He was one of the first scientists to show that added sugar, especially fructose, is a major health/weight issue.

  • Could the more knowledge we have mean we can no longer eat without thinking of its effects? I will definitely add this book to my list. Interesting indeed. Thanks

  • Yeah, that sounds like a fascinating book. Will look for it the next time I'm in Waterstones.

  • Yes dream catcher

    follow Your instincts, follow Your intuitions, when we cut ourselves our body heals it's self. When we brake a bone our body heals its self, trust in what God gave us if possible.

    difficult in today's times, with this glebe society that we life in where a lot of people are quick to be making money out of others lack of confidence, follow where your body and your instantanious thoughts lead you...take care.


  • You know it. The latest diet bestseller entitled 'How to make ££ out of a gullible gutbucket'. Very vulnerable people, the overweight club. Geneen Roth goes back to listening to her body....her books are easy reading.

    I do believe in the body's ability to gravitate towards wellness. It's the mind that seems headed for destruction.

  • Spelling terrible in last message, Glib not glebe, and live not life... :)

    Sadly most of us have been brought up with sugar and fatty stuff thrown at us from all directions, oh and don't forget

    If you don't eat that big plate of piled up food, you don't get your desert :)

    Thank goodness more people are starting to think for themselves.


  • Yes I expect everyone struggling with weight has some kind of backstory surrounding food or emotional issues. The thing is, lots of people have no idea how to get well again, and dieting treats the symptom of obesity but might not reach the cause.

  • how do you get well again?? where to start!!

  • I've never considered the healing from obesity thing, but I definitely know that it takes away from your decision making ability. After losing weight for two years straight, I have a hard time just deciding what to wear every day! I get so stressed out if someone asks me to pick a restaurant to eat at. So keep that in mind because that is definitely an unexpected stress factor that comes from controlling yourself so strictly. I've recently just relaxed about it, eating healthy unless I go out for a party or special occasion. Then I'll let myself eat what I want without worrying. It's working for me so far. I'm a lot happier. Good luck!

  • It's a mindset change as well as eating and exercise habits. After your huge success at weight loss are you scared of slipping back? Do you beat yourself up at your mistakes? How positive do you feel generally?

    I just want to have a normal relationship with food and I still believe it is possible. But I guess I have to prove that to myself. Good luck stay happy

  • I'm pretty terrified of gaining any weight back really, but I've just calmed myself down by realizing if I notice I'm gaining weight back, I can lose it again before it gets out of hand. I don't beat myself up about cheating because there's a reason I wanted it, and it made me happy for the moment. Healthy food makes me feel good, but your body can benefit from unhealthy food every once in a while too. Plus it's good for the soul :)

  • You sound like you are in a good place to springboard off and get on with the rest of your life. Keep busy and active...walk loads. Eat with joy and savour everything life has to offer your senses. Let your soul soar free.

  • Presumably you're on this site because you want to lose weight? So maybe your body has let you down and made the wrong choices?

    I know what you mean about thinking about food too much but one way round this is to plan what you're going to have to eat each day. Then you know what you're going to eat for each meal and don't have to think about it; just eat it and enjoy!

    For instance I have three different breakfasts I enjoy: cereal and nuts; low fat yoghurt and fruit or scrambled eggs and toast. They've all been calorie-counted, so each morning I have the pleasure of deciding which one I fancy that day. And I enjoy my meal.

    By taking a little control over what I eat means I can really enjoy my food. When I eat randomly, without thought, I lose this keen enjoyment because my body is usually busy, still processing the amount of stuff I've already put in it, and this takes the edge off my appetite. My body gets confused, nothing really satisfies it, and then I start eating without any real pleasure.

    The NHS programme will help you to lose weight slowly in a way that encourages better eating habits.

  • I will try it...

  • Me too. Food for life without the stress of dieting. Excersise is the key.

  • Yes you are right and activity decreases appetite funnily enough

  • i only discovered this site a few days ago and I am beginning to think it's probably better than any diet book I have ever read!

    Me all know how difficult it all is , we all empathise and encourage each other, and for those of us who slip up up its a great place to come back to , to get back on track.

    Thank you all for being part of this and for your determination, and well done for all who are eating more healthily and managing to find time to exercise.

    All the best for a better future.❤️💚💛💙💜

  • I think everyone is different. If calorie control is your thing its fine for you to do that so long as you balance what you eat with nutrition. Concerned is an advocate of the eat more fat brigade. This works for them. Like all diets (as in types of food not restrictions) you have to do what works for you. No one size fits all. If you over eat on fat there will be consequences. I found I still ate too much and didnt lose weight on a fat diet. So my poison of choice is calorie counting. I eat clean. Count calories, dont weigh myself because I weigh my food. Everyone is different therefore there is a solution for everyone but not one that will fit everyone.

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