Any ideas on how to help my 13 year 13 stone son. When I talk about weight he gets mad and when I suggest exercise he refuses

[millie56]

When I restrict food he just gets crabby and is no fun to be around. His sister has spoken to him but he just tells her to back off and leave him alone. Witts end.com

[Divided]

I have the same situation, but I'm never going to restrict food. My mum did that. As soon as I left home I put on 3 stone. You can't tell someone to lose weight... ever. I've been trying to get my son involved in new hobbies. We've recently discovered he likes the gym but is still a little too young. He's going to be 14 in 6 months so I'm hoping to join a gym as a family then and encourage him to use it. I'm also on a programme of reducing all drinks with sugar in the house, even diet ones. I think my children are hooked on sweet drinks so I've made a deal with my daughter she can have sweet drinks if she doesn't eat sweets or chocolate, but on the days she does eat sweets or chocolate, she can't have sweet drinks. I'm hoping this will lower her addiction to sugar overall.

[millie56 in reply to Divided]

Thanks divided, I do try to make him think about the food he's eating and make a choice, ie one or the other, guess I need broader shoulders for the back lash! Definitely have to sort something out as he's gaining a stone a year at the moment!

[Penel]

This is a really difficult question to answer. Will your son do any cooking? Perhaps involving him in cooking healthy alternatives to the food he likes might help? Food manufacturers load their food with sugar and bad fat, so home cooked will have a lower content.

Sugar is definitely addictive for many people, not just teenagers. And its damage to health is more than just the calories and weight gain.

If you want him to lose weight for the sake of his health, have you just got to grit your teeth and limit the 'treats' to the weekend?

Encouraging exercise sounds like a very good idea. Are there any sportsmen he admires?

Good luck with this. I hope you can work out a solution. Would your doctor be any help with this?

[millie56 in reply to Penel]

Thanks for the advice, it's a tricky time I have to say, I worry that when he does have money to go out he'll be buying no end of food and I really will have no control! People say he has to want to do it but as a parent I'm in control so its my fault if he gets out of control. Just keep encouraging healthy eating I guess and exercise when he's up for it, doesn't help having a slim daughter who can seem to eat anything and not gain any weight!

[Penel in reply to millie56]

I remember being overweight as a teenager and the losing it over the time I did my GCSEs. I'm not sure if I had a growth spurt or the worry made me lose weight! As you say, be as encouraging and positive as you can. Fingers crossed.

[jadeybaby90]

Maybe suggest something fun, such as paint balling or lazer quest?? You're running around with realising you're exercising which can't be bad? Try and be as active as you can. Maybe stop having unhealthy snacks in the house (if you do) and replace with more healthier options, such as fruit.

[suzybenj]

I had the same battle with my son - and I nagged and nagged - kept bad food and drinks out of the house- but the weight just piled on. He was aware of it and hated his holiday photos - but seemed incapable of doing much about it. I am also clear - at some stage they have to make a lifestyle choice for themselves - because clearly we can't watch over them forever.

By good fortune - he grew this year and just stretched out to a slim 6ft person. He is pleased with the results and is exercising loads- and likes the new image of himself. But to be honest he is fat boy wanting to get out - he loves all the junk food and drink. Left to his own devices it would be a disaster - I am just hoping he gets to 18 and chooses his health over his food.

Sorry not too helpful - but you are doing your best and supporting him- He is young at the moment - and i bet despite his crossness - he feels pretty rubbish about it. Catch that growth spurt and get him to the gym if you can.

[millie56 in reply to suzybenj]

Thanks suzybenj, your son sounds a lot like mine, I know he hates his weight as he won't have photos taken etc either, as a family I've decided we're all going on a health kick, leaving car at home more, rubbish food out the house and generally being more active, will probably finish me off as I don't sit down much anyway, haha but if he going to moan we're going to moan with him, wish me luck!!!

[suzybenj in reply to millie56]

I do wish you luck - sometimes it is very tough being a parent

[Hunnybun]

Help him to love himself as he is, keep cooking healthy food for him , more talk about his weight worse it gets. I found best way was to keep quiet about weight and choose things you can do together. Life is to short for nagging.