Some advice please

Hi all, I'm new on here and trying to lose weight myself. But i want to know if any of you have had to speak to a family member about them losing weight. My mum is in her early 60s, inactive, works for the family business at home and i believe she must weigh about 20 stone. She does lack confidence but never talks about her size but i do think she'd like to lose it. I'm worried about her health and wondering how any of you have approached this to anyone loved ones? Thanks in advance.

7 Replies

  • I haven't had to but maybe you could make her feel like she's helping you by buddying up with you, and you could do it together?

  • My family are all super-skinny; and so was I until 1.5 years ago!

    But if I had someone close who was very overweight I wouldn't have confronted them about it. It may just be counterproductive. And besides, the person knows him/herself that they are overweight and unhealthy.

    The best way I think is to set the example. If you eat healthy, exercise, lose weight and tell others (not only that person, or else he/she thinks you are hinting) how much better you feel. It may just get them thinking.

  • It's very difficult to get someone to do something they don't want to do. Casually make a weight loss suggestion. Talk about the problems that would go away if she will lost weight. Then, directly confront the issue of health. Focus on the things you could do together. Understand what encourages and discourages weight loss attempts. Try to understand what's stopping her. Lead by example and don't be cruel.

  • Maybe suggest she watches this BBC Horizon programme "Eat, Fast and Live Longer" on iPlayer (also on ) and watch it with her. I watched it when I was 62 and it changed my life - as well as reducing my risk of cancer, diabetes and dementia. I'll be 65 just before Christmas and I've never been slimmer or fitter! It's a way of eating that doesn't cost anything - no special foods or slimming clubs!

    After you've watched it I'll be happy to tell you more.

  • I live in the states. Could I pull it up on the internet. Most likely I hope!

  • Knowing and changing are two sides of the same coin.For somebody looking from the outside you would think that they must know that they are overweight and the associated risks with being overweight would push them into taking action.However for a lot of people they settle into a state of self denial,where if challenged on the issue they become first very defensive and then retreat into a state of depression on the realization that there life is going out of control.

    Often it needs someone close to them to show them the path by seeing the progress of there journey from a similar position of despair to a place of improvement that inspires them to say "If they can do it what's stopping me from changing" .That's why a lot of the weight loss clubs do work for a lot of people,because all the people there are on the same journey.Why wait until your health deteriorates to such a point where your have to spend the rest of your life on medication with very poor life expectancy.When if you put things in place now you minimize the risk later.

    Hope this helps Helly and wish you luck in approaching your mum on this delicate issue.Looking forward to hearing how you get on with your own weight lose journey also as i feel you are neglecting yourself because you are concerned about your mothers health.If you can get yourself healthier this will be a great benefit to both of you.

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