Post 695 SEX the physical act 4 Oct 2020

[RoyceNewton]

Good morning my beloved ms family. I hope your sleep was better than mine last night. I do not understand my sleep issues these days. My Mother swears it is age-related, maybe she is correct, I just wish I could get a good nights sleep, without a 2am trip to the toilet then 4 hours wide awake. Maybe tonight, I can only hope.

Okay, today we are going to talk about sex, the physical act. We shall start with usual disclaimer. If “YOU” are having serious issues and care enough, GO TALK TO A MEDICAL PROFESSIONAL. I am NOT one. what I say is based upon experience, mine and others.

We shall talk first about the physical act. Sex involves touch and stimulation. A difficulty with Relapsing-Remitting ms (RRms), in my experience. With our back to front haywire nerves, it can lead to a lot of frustration. What worked once may not work ever again or maybe only this time. I have found a lot of experimentation, patience and a sense of humor are good things to have. Oh and a lot of patience and low expectations. Since diagnosis (DX) I have only been engaged physically with one woman and she has ms as well. Both of us having this disease has made it much easier to accept non-performance. I do not know what it is like with a non-ms functioning partner.

With that in mind a strong communicative relationship I feel is a huge benefit. To be able to laugh at yourself, have humour in your physical escapades I feel is very important. A good sound understanding of what is happening and is meant to happen as well is important. Knowing that your penis will be hardest when it is stimulated is important. If the nerves along your spine are damaged how can “YOU” expect feeling and sensation? Knowing these things takes the frustration and pressure off. If my penis is not erect with the first stimulation, I know why. There is no need to be angry at myself or frustrated. If the feeling is not there, perhaps try something else. A lot of the time a kiss and a cuddle are more than satisfying. Sex as I was at 18 is not needed so much at 50+.

Having said that it can be fun to try, I just never expect to succeed, like I used to and I am comfortable with that. “YOU” should be as well. I know have known of several young ladies that did have children after a diagnosis (DX) of ms. One actually had several.

Royce (your ms writer and brother)

now it is up to YOU, do we go anywhere on this topic?

[Kenu]

Love your honesty 👍🙏😉 Ken 🐾🐾

[Amore55]

I think you really spoke well on this! Sometimes just cuddling must be enough for anyone who is numb or unable to function in this particular area of life. It is a very satisfying substitute, though of course, not the same. Memories... are also a fine thing. Well done, my beloved friend. You handled it well. Kelly xx

[RoyceNewton in reply to Amore55]

Thank you so much

[Frances_B]

Re "several young ladies that did have children after a diagnosis (DX) of ms. One actually had several" Having children after an MS diagnosis is not at all unusual Royce, it's actually very far from being a rarity, and many many women have children (plural) after their MS diagnosis. MS does not affect a woman's fertility - although for some a relapse is an increased risk in the first few months after childbirth - one theory is that this could be related to pregnancy hormones which prevent a woman's body from rejecting the foetus as a foreign body returning to normal levels and MS then ramps up a bit resulting in a relapse. There are many women who suffer their first identifiable relapse after childbirth and that episode results in tests which produce/confirm an MS diagnosis.

[Ali_B62]

I am one of those mentioned by Frances. I had 1 child late in life, then another extremely late in life. Looking back, I am not sure it was the best thing for all of us, but no relapses as far as I know, I was extremely lucky. It has been extremely difficult though. Many of my cognitive symptoms were invisible to those around me and I am still struggling to get help, but we are all here still and well. Hoping this will continue!🙂

[twooldcrows]

great with the honesty really does help and to have the love and patience to go along with it .....on the subject of your mother snoring is something that i have acquired in the last few years and it is because of a blockage when i lay down so i have to use a cpap machine it forces the air threw so i can sleep ...it is a pain but ha it does work ...have a great day and you wrote another great discussion ....love and happiness