Why do I say what I say? Why do I put in writing and post it here for all who want to, to read and think about? The answer is long and easy, depending on how "YOU" look at it. Twenty plus years ago, when I was diagnosed (Dx'd). I was a younger man with a future ahead of me. I had plans, dreams hopes, like "YOU". Then a visit to a doctor, then another, a few tests and everything in my life was turned upside down and inside out. When I say everything, I mean everything. No more flying, wife divorced me so quick my head spun and even my physical location was changed. We shall not mention bank balance it was all gone. I thought I was done for. I looked at the ms pamphlets and saw old ladies in wheelchairs, was that my future.? Why me? What did I do' How could this have happened, to me? Yes, like "YOU" I was terrified, I did not know what to do first second or even third. I turned to a website run by a lady in England called Joolys joint and started asking questions. Lots and lots of them. I formed a very close friendship with a young lady, a little older. We have rarely been apart for the last twenty or so years. "YOU" know her as she who must be obeyed. I took the only available Disease-Modifying Therapy DMT, back then. Beta Interferon, put my head down, asked questions and learned what was happening to me. Twenty-odd years later I have survived and lead a reasonably good existence. Not what my original prognosis was, but I survived all the downhills, scary strange pains and embarrassments and so can "YOU". There is a lot more available to "YOU" today than there was for me long ago, all "YOU" have to do is ask and I am sure somebody somewhere can give "YOU" advice.
It is quite okay to be scared, to cry, to swear, but when "YOU" have finished there are suggestions. Maybe not answers, ms has very few of them, but suggestions and recommendations. Use them, make them fit your lifestyle and dreams. Have dreams, merely accept that they are going to be different now.
I will tell "YOU" this because I truly wish somebody had told me long ago. It honestly will be okay. Scary and painful at times. "YOU" might be embarrassed, people that "YOU" thought would be there forever will abandon "YOU". Strangers may become the rocks that "YOU" never had before. It is possible to live through this. Make it an adventure, your very own quest. Something that nobody else can do, but "YOU". "YOU" are special in a very good way. Few are chosen to live this life, on the entire planet, there are only a few millions of us out of several billion human beings travelling around our star. Try to look at it as if "YOU" are special and chosen, not cursed. It is easier that way.
I will keep saying that to "YOU", because I wish somebody had said that to me.
Royce the ms writer
You are good, you are strong and you can live this life, believe in yourself
Written by
RoyceNewton
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I wish someone had told me all that too when i was dx 5 years ago. I am lucky in that my man did not leave me. It never occurred to me that he might. But now i know how rare that is.
Great post. Made me tear up. U r really good at this! 💜
again well said ...i to wish i had someone like we have now ...i am not knocking the people that tried to make it easier in the beginning for me but now it is so much better to read about someone like you that has had it all of these years and going strong ,sure not as strong as before when you were chosen with this life but again we will be just fine for we have all of your helping us thru all of the stuff that we thought was only me but actually it is normal and so we will make it .. i know i don't write the correct way like others ..it is just my way ...love and happiness to all out there that are here and the others to come needing help or just to talk ....we are strong together just like families...Merry Christmas to all of you...i am asking of course for more snow for Christmas ...take care everyone and know you are all loved ...
Thank you, Royce. As always, well stated. I don’t know how you come up with so many thoughts, reflections, and encouragements! I also wish I had access to this forum in 1996 when I was diagnosed—-I recall the loneliness and uncertainty and silence (my mom had MS for 30+ years and NEVER talked about it....when I was diagnosed, my dad wouldn’t let us tell her for over a year about my diagnosis). Anyway, I appreciate the way you add so many different approaches and views. Happy Holidays! 😀🎄
Friend RoyceNewton I enjoy your writings & I also wish I had some one 25+ yrs ago to tell me the things you say. Yes it has been very scary at times & unlike you my spouse did not leave. After I had read all I could find (it was 20+yers out of date then) I told him then if he wanted out I understood & he could leave I wouldn't protest it. He said the vows said for better or worse we've had better (14yrs) I'm not going anywhere now!! I cried!! We will celebrate 40 yrs this march of marriage & 26 yrs of MS!! It has been AWESOME!!!! Mary
You are always so encouraging Royce! It will be 20 years for me having MS next year and at the time I was diagnosed I attended classes through the MS society that really helped me with the fear factor. I did have to retire early (I was diagnosed at the age of 57, which at that time was over the age to be diagnosed) but despite some broken bones though the years I have been pretty lucky.😀❤️
I can understand that reasoning, I know everyone has different problems & different solutions to handle them. I do not & will not judge anyone for their choice to handle their problems. I love Royce as a brother I pray for him & all my brothers & sisters every where. You are a good sister to Royce so you are also in my prayers. Mary
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