This post has to start with a disclaimer, so nobody lectures me or gets bent out of shape.
I am not any kind of Doctor. If "YOU" need medical help, seek it. If "YOU" need some sort of pharmaceutical help, get it. I am not your Doctor or pharmacist, nor do I play one on television. Does that "YOU" happy?
Over my many years of living with Relapsing-Remitting ms, and living with a young lady with the same affliction I have come to recognize that being alone is the part of our condition that Doctors do not warn "YOU" about. I am uncertain whether or not our loneliness is society. We, westerners, are a pretty selfish group. We are in a hurry to discard what is broken or no longer working at 110 percent. Look at old peoples homes. Our own condition, RRms messes with the brain and our physical wellbeing. We have weak bladders, bowels, limbs, making us an oddity. When was the last time that "YOU" struck up a conversation with somebody in a wheelchair or somebody so obviously different? Maybe we feel that we have nothing to offer to society, a stranger in general. Maybe we shut ourselves away for fear of rejection or merely to remain comfortable in our own shells?
Perhaps it may be a good idea to look into yourself to find this out. Why do "YOU" feel that "YOU" are lonely? There are a lot of us on this site. Do "YOU" talk to anybody? Not everybody will reply but, somebody might. I wrote when I was first diagnosed (Dx'd) on a site in England, struck up a friendship with a young lady and twenty years later we are still friends. Maybe not so much this morning as I did not empty the dishwasher when I woke up, but you get that sometimes, usually, I do empty the dishwasher. She claims we have a dishwasher gremlin. She runs the dishwasher then when she wakes up and gets out of bed the washer is empty and the dishes are clean and put away. I do not think I will correct her.
Look around, are these people that "YOU" see all happy and content with their friends, Or are they actually lonely but faking happiness really well? How many of them can call on those friends at 2am and say "I am scared?" I think an evaluation of what "YOU" want to make "YOU" less lonely might be a good idea. Ask yourself why "YOU" are lonely. By inaction, in not making yourself unlonely or something else?. The disease, which? It is very easy to hide yourself away and become alone. The illness does that, we start to lack confidence, people have less to do with us. We can not go out and party and drink like we used to. I have found that older, retired people actually do make very good friends. My joint dog is a good companion. I am not a big fan of cats, but I do think a pot-bellied pig would be cool to have one day. Find ways to make yourself less lonely. Reading to children at the library might be a good idea. Visiting a retirement home might be nice. They certainly will understand your many bathroom breaks.
Open your eyes and see the possibilities that "YOU" can make use of to help your loneliness. Of course, there is the other option. Embrace your loneliness. Become an excellent recluse, read books, watch silly television shows and marvel at peoples ridiculous behaviour. There is no rule that says "YOU" have to be out there and surrounded by chattering people.
Royce (the ms writer)
RRms makes you alone, but you do not have to be lonely
