Post 667 I do not understand why should they 23 Jul 2020

[RoyceNewton]

Good day family. I hope everyone is well, at least as well as can be expected. We have had dramas at my house. Our dearest friend of 53 years just got diagnosed with Covid, and her husband is in recovery in San Diego after having had to undergo several throat procedures. We might be taking an emergency road trip to San Diego in the next few days. No enjoying San Diego seafood in and out in a few days if we have to go. Fun times had by all.

I have been with She who must be obeyed for over twenty years. She has Relapsing-Remitting ms (RRms) as do I. She takes Copaxone, I once took Interferon Beta 1B but now take Tecfidera. We live in the same house and have the same illness. I DO NOT understand her ms, and she does not understand mine. In reality, I do not understand my ms. The strange things that it does to me physically, and the bizarre things it does to me mentally and emotionally. It confuses me terribly. Thinking about it logically, not emotionally, how can I expect her or anybody to understand what I may be going through? Especially when I have difficulties understanding me. How in all fairness can “YOU”?, understand me.

We have a major illness, all we can ask for is patience. Constant patience. Do not ask or demand to be understood for something which “YOU” yourself do not understand. Get two pieces of string. Make one straight, bunch the other into a ball. The straight pice is your family\ friends. The bunched up , twisted, knotted string is “YOU. Can “YOU” understand that, does it make sense? Can “YOU” explain that, put it into your own words? “YOU” are not trying to be deliberately willfully and stubborn. “YOU” are trying your best to live with the everchanging hand “YOU” were dealt with. A hand that gets slowly worse as your years go by.

Do not expect others to understand. Stand firmly and state this is what is happening and "YOU" have ms is WHY. Do not expect them to understand, just accept. “YOU” will do dumb things. We are not perfect, we all make mistakes, merely ask that your mistakes be understood as unintentional but a part of “YOU”. These are the things that make “YOU" a unique human being. Somebody that makes mistakes and sometimes needs help with the strangest of things.

Royce (your ms writer

Do yourself a favour. Do not fret other people not understanding. Do your best to understand and accept yourself,

[kdali]

I hope your friend recovers well!

[agapepilgrim]

I understand you perfectly. I understand the misunderstanding perfectly. I understand the not understanding completely. What is understanding but grasping a picture of what the speaker is saying and you are talking about a jumbled mess of knots of a ball of yard while she may have a neat ball of yarn. Not compatible. Will it get untangled? Will you buy a new ball of yarn? Nope, gotta get a knot out to cross the room and pick up that cup of coffee. Does she understand? Nope. But dwelling together with two drastically different ballsvofvyardctakescaclitvifvoattiencevand compassion and walking in their moccasins. Be nice if she saw you twisted knotted ball of yarn.

[2littletime in reply to agapepilgrim]

Well said...

[Hidden]

Yes you cannot help others you have to let them help themselves all in good time

[carolek572 CommunityAmbassador]

You cannot help others unless you take care of your self first, Royce. While I cannot fully understand your 'ms', we both have 'ms', so I can understand what you are up against. Together, we are all stronger. I know, a tired cliché, but it is appropriate because we can all help each other through our experiences, our understanding, and our empathy. Keep Smiling

[RoyceNewton in reply to carolek572]

Thank you, it is a tired cliche because it is a good one. Take care mate

[carolek572 CommunityAmbassador in reply to RoyceNewton]

I will and you do the same, Royce

[Hidden in reply to carolek572]

Yea I guess your right when you say we can help each other its we choose to apply what we have learned

[Hidden in reply to carolek572]

Well spoken

[carolek572 CommunityAmbassador in reply to Hidden]

Thank you for your kind words, Hidden

[twooldcrows]

hope your friends husband get's better fast ...so sad after going threw a surgery and to get this terrible virus ...good luck stay safe ...like your post about this nasty thing we all have MS...i am coping it to have my husband and the kids to help them understand ...love it ..so much great help always from everyone on here that all have this monster in their lives...take care all and be safe....

[RoyceNewton in reply to twooldcrows]

Thank you and best wishes to you always

[2littletime]

Sending prayers up for your friends 🙏...

[Juliew19673]

If I new how, I'd insert the clapping emoji here!

[agate]

"She who must be obeyed" may be your wife or significant other? You with your MS are living with someone who also has MS if I read that right? That must be challenging to put it mildly. I agree that no two cases of MS are alike, and there can be only a limited understanding of another person's MS even if you yourself have MS. I crumble and almost melt in the heat but have known people with MS who love hot weather and seek it out. Go figure!

[RoyceNewton in reply to agate]

Challenging is a very polite way of phrasing it