Another day another person in the family and another day of Relapsing Remitting ms (RRms). I do not care what anybody says, there is no cure. A cure being, make it go away forever and never ever come back. No, there is no cure no matter how much “YOU” or I search, beg, cajole and plead. No, a cure can happen but it requires me and “YOU” to be dead. No heart beat no brain function nothing. I am not willing to pay that price just yet, maybe one day but not today. I have done twentyish years so far and I think there are twenty or 7thirty more left in me. All I have to do is stop doing reckless things and take my Disease Modifying Therapy(DMT) Okay that will not cure me but it might slow my disease down and that is a very good thing. It will give me time to come to terms with RRms and prepare myself for my very long life with an incurable progressive illness.
What do I do?
I wish somebody had told me. Firstly Cry, and do it hard, let your anger pain and frustrations out. Scream why me? Again and again, loudly. The answer is because “YOU” like me are a human being, and human beings get this illness. Sorry but that is what it is, not simply to handle so cry some more, hard. Tears have flowed, good as a start they will flow gain and again over the years, at least mine have. This is very normal, I believe if anybody says that they did not they are very different and perhaps best to be avoided. Now start looking for treatments, I did not say a cure I said treatment for there is no cure. Not today or tomorrow not for many many years into the future. Find one start taking it and keep taking it. Make it a part of your life, at first maybe make it your life. Relax “YOU” will ease up on it in the months to come but at first it is a good idea.
I feel that now “YOU” might learn more about this condition and what “YOU” can do to handle it. I feel that abandoning everything that “YOU” once were before your diagnosis (DX) is not the smartest of things. Look to how behaviours and habits can be modified. I could not fly anymore, but drones were an option, I could not balance on a bicycle but three wheels on a tricycle worked fine. There are options you just need to slow down and look for them. There is no hurry, take your time accept that maybe your first decision was not your last decision. This disease is progressive and ever changing. What works today may not work tomorrow. That is the nature of our condition. As a friend says (I can call you that stll) adapt adapt adapt, and do not stop adapting. Again part of the illness. It is progressive and very tricksy, so adapt. That should get “YOU” started and the rule is one page and that is a page, and I love rules, they bring order to my confusing life.
Royce (the tortured writer)
it is okay, it just is a lifetime journey we are on, but it is very DOABLE with some patience
