I constantly have this problem. It is pretty simple really. What do I do, what next, where do I turn, where is my life leading? What is my purpose? That is the crux of it. "WHAT IS MY PURPOSE" Pretty simple question really, with a whole lot of answers.
It is a little challenging with Relapsing-Remitting ms (RRms) always skulking in the background waiting to attack when "YOU" least expect. My suggestion to "You" as somebody who is looking forward to a long life with RRms is firstly to calm down. It really is not as bad as they advertise, For some, yes. It can be and is rather scary, but for the majority of us, it is just dreadfully confusing and rather inconvenient Take your time and come to terms with it. Accept that you now live on a flowing river, sometimes fast and scary, other times meandering and worst of all there are whirlpools which totally spin "YOU" around and around.
There is a purpose to this life for us all, something to learn something to experience. Personally, I never thought I would ever be able to cope with the pain of Trigeminal Neuralgia on both sides of my face and live to talk about it. I assumed that an opioid overdose was a death sentence, but my record today is over three times. There is a purpose, and it comes when it is ready. Maybe the entire experience is the purpose; maybe it is telling "YOU" that there is a purpose, a reason for all of this confusing illness. Take your time. Make some space and get to know yourself. It has taken me 50 years of life and 20 years of RRms and I am still not exactly sure what my purpose is. Yet every day I wake up, get out of bed and continue doing everything that I can to learn and achieve some purpose. Maybe being the best me that I can be is my purpose. No more than that, and I think that might be a good purpose. Find your purpose and start to live it.
searching, searching, searching for something I think.