I'm being tested once again for m.s. I have tested with electrodes and do have neuropathy. It's been 12 years since my last test. They can miss MS with CT scans (6 specialists concerns including social security Dr m s.) My diagnosis , fms/cfs, plus chronic depressive disorder /panicked disorder. I am absolutely certain it's stress related, that's shutting my body down.
Even if it's a disease, stress is causing it to be in a crisis of some sort. I'm a dancer. I lose control of my legs, I drop things. Even embarrassing with a bladder lift I recently had urine run down my leg in a long line at college. I hardly felt an urge to go.
My body feels like it's half dead. I'm very active, or I was. I'm beyond frustrated. My home life is miserable I've sacrificed for my 2 adult daughters. Yet they won't help me. One has chaos of her things everywhere. I let her move back and I am making her a mini apartment, but even outside(front, garage, side of house, backyard. I have to walk around her things.) It's CHAOS everywhere! My 18 year old does nothing around the home! My 30 year old does do dishes and cook some.
I gave up my dance/photo studio to make my oldest an apartment. Gave up my peaceful room I loved to give my 18 tear old a fresh start. Its a new disaster. They left me with a storage room. I have nowhere to try to build my strength, stretch, hopefully dance nor my personal place of oeace. I HATE my home. I am deciding on leaving and letting them keep my home. Including my husband whom is living off on me financially 95%. If he helps he only does part's here and there leaving everything unfinished. Regardless of what I may or may not have disease wise. STRESS IS KILLING ME, LITERALLY!
I was a dancer and backpacker. Now I can hardly stand, hold anything (even my fork). I feel like I'm living in a nearly dead body. I just want to sleep. It's all I can do, yet I fear sleep, because I have insane nightmares.
I'm trying to look for a small apartment. Give my 18 year old $ I get to support her. And leave my home. Yet pay for my thing's to stay in my 'storage room'. They could all 3 afford it then.
I have to do what I must to save my life. I don't feel I can survive otherwise. Often I just don't care anymore what happens to me. I'm losing hope
I forgot the bran fog, the memory loss. It scares me it gets so bad.