I'm being tested once again for m.s. I have tested with electrodes and do have neuropathy. It's been 12 years since my last test. They can miss MS with CT scans (6 specialists concerns including social security Dr m s.) My diagnosis , fms/cfs, plus chronic depressive disorder /panicked disorder. I am absolutely certain it's stress related, that's shutting my body down.
Even if it's a disease, stress is causing it to be in a crisis of some sort. I'm a dancer. I lose control of my legs, I drop things. Even embarrassing with a bladder lift I recently had urine run down my leg in a long line at college. I hardly felt an urge to go.
My body feels like it's half dead. I'm very active, or I was. I'm beyond frustrated. My home life is miserable I've sacrificed for my 2 adult daughters. Yet they won't help me. One has chaos of her things everywhere. I let her move back and I am making her a mini apartment, but even outside(front, garage, side of house, backyard. I have to walk around her things.) It's CHAOS everywhere! My 18 year old does nothing around the home! My 30 year old does do dishes and cook some.
I gave up my dance/photo studio to make my oldest an apartment. Gave up my peaceful room I loved to give my 18 tear old a fresh start. Its a new disaster. They left me with a storage room. I have nowhere to try to build my strength, stretch, hopefully dance nor my personal place of oeace. I HATE my home. I am deciding on leaving and letting them keep my home. Including my husband whom is living off on me financially 95%. If he helps he only does part's here and there leaving everything unfinished. Regardless of what I may or may not have disease wise. STRESS IS KILLING ME, LITERALLY!
I was a dancer and backpacker. Now I can hardly stand, hold anything (even my fork). I feel like I'm living in a nearly dead body. I just want to sleep. It's all I can do, yet I fear sleep, because I have insane nightmares.
I'm trying to look for a small apartment. Give my 18 year old $ I get to support her. And leave my home. Yet pay for my thing's to stay in my 'storage room'. They could all 3 afford it then.
I have to do what I must to save my life. I don't feel I can survive otherwise. Often I just don't care anymore what happens to me. I'm losing hope
I forgot the bran fog, the memory loss. It scares me it gets so bad.
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TanyaLWelch69
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I'm surprised that they haven't done a MRI before now. Have you seen a MS Neurologist yet?
You need to take care of yourself. Do you have any close friends you can to talk to and if not think about a therapist because all this stress is not good for you whether or not you have MS.
I hope your MRI gives you some answers and your family should be ashamed of themselves. Maybe it's time for tough love.
I think you are at a critical moment in your life. Evict the daughters and husband. Take all of their belongings and put them on the lawn. Get an MS neurologist to evaluate your history of decline of functionality. I hope you put yourself and your right to sanity first. Take care of you. Best wishes.
Tanya, I'm reading your post and just wish I could give you hug and tell you that you're not alone. It has been over 13years of me being diagnosed with MS. Support is everything. STRESS is one of the things that'll take you out. Even if you don't have MS, it's something that's bad for your health. Reading your post, I really don't know what to say to make you feel better, but I DO suggest getting in a support group of some type. Just venting to someone is a great help and you'll feel so much better.
I see you was a dancer and hiker. Try to do some type of activity. My experience is it helps me feel much better afterwards.
You have to do what's best for YOU. If you don't take care of yourself, you will not be able to help others. Good luck TanyaLWelch69 and keep us informed of your test.
Tanyal, it's Fancy1959. It sounds like you have given your family all you have. And what have you gotten in return..enough disrespect and stress to kill you. They should be ashamed of themselves. It's time for all of them to GROW UP!
As a mother of three sons I can understand that you feel as If it your responsibility to care for them. But your body is telling you it is time to stop trying to do so. When the price of that care puts you at risk, it is time to stop.
It is time to take charge of caring for yourself since no else in your family seems to be the least bit interested in your declining health.
First, reduce the stress in your life. If that entails throwing your daughters out of your apartment or moving out yourself, get it done. And don't worry about supporting your 18 year old. Has she worried about you?
Second, ask around for a good neurologist. Your doctor can often recommend one to you. Your doctor can also often expedite the wait time to get into seeing the neurologist. If you already are seeing a Neurologists, it sounds like it may time to find a new one.
Third, as far as I know the only absolutely definitive tests for MS is a specific spinal tap. Question your neurologist about this.
Fourth, once you get your diagnosis you can start your road to recovery. That road includes getting properly medicated or put on the correct therapy. Remembering to actively work on managing your stress if need be by keeping your family from sucking you dry. And, once diagnosed to start physical therapy to bring your strength and body back.
I'm not going to tell you how sorry I am that your family is treating you so poorly. What I am going to tell you is to stop the abuse your family is piling on you. Stand up, even if you have to have help to do so and FIGHT! We are stronger together and are only a text away. Remember never give up. Never give in. Either to your disease or your family. Please let us know as soon as your diagnosis is definitive. Fight on and keep strong! You can beat this!
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