I live with my son and his husband in a nice 2 bedroom apartment in town. I have lots of neighbors close by. But I feel like I'm the loneliest person in the world. I'm invisible sometimes literally invisible! I'm not even noticed. We've been here less than a year and to try to get someone to talk to you is impossible. A slight wave now and then maybe and that's it. And at home! Another story, I go all day without uttering a word. I'm just here, in my room with my tv and my phone. I have no one to talk to except a sister who now has dementia. So that's really hard. What do I do? I have no transportation, no way out of this. I feel a horrible pain in the pit of my stomach everyday. I'm also dealing with the pain and struggle of ms. I've never been open to anyone about this. I just think I need advice.
Loneliest Person in the World: I live with... - My MSAA Community
Loneliest Person in the World
Boy can I relate to your post!
I live alone and my only family (younger brother) lives across the United States (so flights or a 2-3 day drive is the only option for IRL meetings) and we rarely talk on the phone. We share quick, easy emails mostly.
The pandemic has most MSers on lock down due to immune compromised status, too. It's been a struggle for me too. I find that this forum has been a wonderful tool for me to end my social isolation and chat with folks who truly get MS too.
Recently, I called to chat with a counselor at the MSAA toll-free help line too. It helps to reach out in any way you can, IMHO. I hope you find some comfort and connection soon!
Be Well!
Thank you so much for reaching out to me. I didn't know msaa had a help line, thank you.
Is there a church near you that you can reach out to? If so they usually will have people that will pick you up & take you home. Church is a great place to get to know & connect with people.
Hi Mamaw! I private messaged you, but wanted to write here also. I hope you get some great responses. It is very difficult when loneliness hits. I have been there many times. I do not have a great suggestion, except have you told your son how you are feeling? Hope to hear from you!
I hate to hear of your plight. It sounds awful. I like the suggestions of church and an msaa counselor. My ms doctor set me up with a counselor to talk to about how i was/am not comfortable letting certain people know i have ms. And some other stuff. I did virtual visits with her. I’ve since stopped seeing her but she left it open if i ever wanna talk some more.
I’ll pray for you.
Thank you
In addition to calling MSAA, and the NMSS office nearest you, depending on where you live, there may be senior support services that offer programs that might interest you. For several years, when I lived in an urban area, I took a weekly watercolor class at a senior center. At other times they also offered exercise, dancing, bus trips and a daily lunch. In my current rural community, for those income eligible seniors, support services can arrange for OT and PT as well as Meals on Wheels and transportation to grocery market, pharmacy and health appointments. Use your phone and computer to find what is available where you are living. One of the hard lessons we learn in life is that we have to reach out for help when we need it, even though we may have heard other messages as we were growing up. Like others in the MS family, I'm glad you found us and came here.
Thank you so much. I definitely will try those outlets. God bless you
Will keep you in prayer during this time. May God give you wisdom on what to do. God bless🙏🏾
Thank you
Hi Hidden moving during the lockdown/Covid with MS stinks! I would use another word but... 🤣 Anyway, I moved right when it started! Been close to 2 yrs I don't know my neighbors. So I get it! ☺️ Let me assure you that your not invisible here! 🤗💕🌠 Oh here is MSAA'S Toll-Free Helpline (800) 532-7667
Thank you so much
You’re welcome🙏🏾
As you see you are not alone.My neighbors let me know they are there but we do not visit.The covid era has created more isolation for sure but finding ones self during all of this...everyone has a new normal.I have tried art therapy, music etc but there isnt a substitute for a non judgemental real person.Remembering you are a special creation, there isnt another you..is important.What is my purpose...sometimes i feel like im the chair everyone is walking around. that alone.....keeping a journal is helpful and even a simple exercise can help....YOU are good enough right now....!
God bless you for your kind words . They mean the world to me right now. I'm trying to lift myself up and carry on...I just don't think I've been this low before. I'm trying each day and I thank you and may God Bless You!!
A.. I would think because you moved there in the middle of the pandemic, people are trying to stay away from each other. Do you have a church or synagogue you can attend? Even if it's only on zoom it's a great way to meet people. Shortly after we started at our church, covid hit. Zoom was great because we got to see their faces and their names were listed under them! Great way to meet people.
Just a thought and I'm glad you're here so at least you have us.
I don't I've looked online to try to find transportation to churches near by. Even out of my affiliate, but no luck as of yet. Makes no sense...I'm 10 minutes from town. I asked my TACC driver that was taking me to doctors appointment if they only would do dr appt she said that's all we do. I don't understand. How do I get medicine? I started getting what I could through mail-order. How do I get to the pharmacy to get the other 30,%? I'm so sorry I just noticed I'm venting on you. Please forgive me. Our system doesn't work for everyone. It just doesn't.
Vent away! We all have times we need it!
In my city we can dial 311 for questions about services. Do you have anything like that? Our bus system also has a special bus (smaller) for disabled folks that people can be picked up and taken directly where they're going, almost like a taxi service, for a reduced amount. Do you have either of those available? Or call an agency that helps disabled people and perhaps they can point you in the right direction.
It would be wonderful if we did. We do have transportation to doctors appointments and we have things like instacart for groceries delivery it's new. I stayed up late last night online looking for numbers to call to my local social services for help. I think I'm making headway and I do feel a bit better after talking to one lady there.
Good! Keep asking! I'm sure you're not the only one!
some areas that have public transportation also have disabled services. You have to apply and the fees are very low. It usually is a dollar or 2 for a ride to where ever you are going door to door,, so you would need to call them a day ahead of time but then they would pick you up and drop you off.. I think its federally mandated and funded for public transportation systems to offer this to people who are not able to navigate and stand at local bus stops etc
i'm not very social as a rule, but i have a couple buddies i've met on this site. we don't message every day, but it gives me a warm feeling every time i write them or they write me. i think we all need to connect. we all also need physical affection (i don't mean sex, just contact).
can you get a pet? i'm mostly homebound and i know i would go stark raving mad without my furbabies. i have cats, so they go to the vet maybe 2 times a year (one is a senior now❤️) and i get their supplies delivered. the younger one, whenever i call he comes and his favourite place to be is in my face😸. if i don't move my book for a while, he'll just slink around it and lie down on my face, lmao. they make a difference.
covid sucks on many levels, one being limiting time people get out of the house. my mum says that since she got older it's like people look through her. if you're surrounded by younger people in your neighbourhood that could be why you feel unseen.
i am in no way a supporter of organised religion, but my mum attends a church. as soon as they re opened, her mood dramatically improved. maybe not church, but some sort of club (if you're able to get out of the house) where they take precautions would be a good idea. i recommended meetup.com to her a long time ago. perhaps there are groups on there (if you're in the states, dunno about other countries and meetup.com) that socially distance and/or require a vax card to join where you could meet friends and be safe.
i hope this helps.🤗🤗🤗🤗
Great advice. This site has really helped me. I feel so much better about things and the advice from you and others has done wonders. I can have a pet but I don't personally own one but my son has 2 small Chihuahua's. The smallest one don't weigh over 3 lbs. She sneaks in my room from time to time and snuggles with me. I have a granddaughter also whom I love so very much. I try to get her as much as possible. I don't have any friends. I lost those years ago. My family, well I I have my two son's, that pick and chose when and what they wanna do for me, and I have a sister who has early signs of dementia. She was always my person now half the time she don't know what I'm saying. But I'm finding comfort here. Talking to everyone. I hope to talk to you again and keep in touch. I think that would be nice.
ok i could just be uber selfish 😜, but if you're able to care for one, i'd want my own pet. lol, i spend time with my mum's dogs, but they are hers. at times when i've had to go into hospital, she's looked after my cats, but they are mine. i make all decisions about them. also, it sounds like you have your own space, like a mother in law's flat? on the days when i'm around my mum, going into my part and seeing my babies is sort of like coming home from work in a way, like when i see my cats it's time to relax.
though i must say, i've met a few chihuahuas and if they like you, you must be an animal person!😀
Yes I do don't I! Thank you...well how have you been BlanketTime? I hope things are great your way and your taking care of yourself. I'm sending lots of hugs your way...
hanging in🤗
i live alone as my son died in 2019. I can no longer drive because of MS and the vision and reflex issues it has caused. I talk to people on FB and here but seriously it's not really the same as having people nearby to talk to. I absolutely understand what you mean when say you feel utterly alone. It has been this way since my son died. I have one friend that lives nearby and she helps me get to doctors and MRI's and labs but other than that i go no where and do nothing since this pandemic started.
I'm sorry for your loss. I'm the same way I don't go any where or do anything. I stay here at home. I go to my doctors and that's it. I don't have any one to talk to. This site has helped me tremendously and thank you for reaching out. Keep in touch and I will do the same
Thank you for sharing. I love the ideas that have been given so far.
Activities that have helped me include:
Sleeping as long as I need;
Getting exercise like PT, chair yoga, walking;
Making simple, healthy snacks or meals;
Making simple art journals & keeping a gratitude journal which can help with depression;
Reading or listening to audio books or music;
Doing Youtube art videos;
Talking to a weekly counselor or Life Coach to learn new strategies;
Video chatting or emailing with family members on a daily/ weekly basis.
Attending Zoom religious meetings for worship (I'm a Quaker)
Sending cards to others who are sick or alone and need correspondance;
I tried to identify what my goals are for 2022 and I'm slowly incorporating them into my routine.
Sending you thoughts and prayers to know you are not alone.
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