Got splashed with toilet water while cleaning the toiled. Used Sanitizer wipes 3 times and soap 4 times. I still feel dirty! What do I do?My skin is dry and burning. Just appleid vaseline sensitive skin relief everywhere. I feel like showering again!
Am I clean enough??????
Any dermatologists here?
Hello - I'm sorry you're having a difficult time right now. I really am as I've struggled with cleanliness OCD in the past as well. I know you may still feel dirty, but this is just a lie that OCD is telling you. The important thing is to not give in to the compulsion and allow the thoughts/feeling to just "be". You know deep down that you're not really dirty and that you've done more than enough to be clean. In my experience the OCD voice is very loud. It screams, "I MUST DO SOMETHING RIGHT NOW OR SOMETHING AWFUL WILL HAPPEN!". I've found though that there is a smaller voice. One that says, "I know that this isn't true. This whole thing is silly.". I think it's important to try and ignore the louder voice and listen to the smaller. Over time your brain will rewire itself and learn not to react so intensely to the louder one
You didn't mention in your post, but are you seeking treatment? I know for me things started to get better when I was just honest with my doctor. He prescribed some medicine and I asked him to refer me to a therapist. It wasn't easy, but I'm in a lot better place than I was before. The medicine reduced the "stickiness" of the OCD thoughts and allowed me to start Exposure Response Prevention (ERP) therapy. In ERP you gradually face what scares you and over time it allows your brain to rewire itself to not react so intensely to the OCD thoughts. It is the gold standard in OCD recovery. If you haven't I would suggest you look into that.
Like I said, I'm really sorry you're having an OCD spiral right now. I really am. I can totally empathize with what you're going through and know how difficult that can be. There is however hope. There are literally millions of people out there who want (and can) help. All you need to do is ask. I hope you find the peace you deserve my friend. May God bless you.
Thanks so much.
I am sorry you went through this too.
I do have weekly therapy with a psychologist. I am on meds for depression and have a visit coming up with my PCP to get on meds for anxiety and I'll ask her about OCD meds. I didn't know there were meds for that.
Your message really helped me.
The funny thing is; this is literally what my psychologist and I talked about yesterday morning and I've been trying, but I don't need to tell you how intense the compulsion can be.
I have a strong family history of OCD on my maternal and paternal side of the family. But my OCD started getting worse after COVID, before then I had compulsive thoughts but not like this.
Thanks again for your response. It really really helped me a lot.
I'm glad you are doing better now!
It sounds like you're on your way to recovery 
It is hard to resist the compulsions. I understand that completely. However, even just resisting helps to rewire your brain. I know for me, when I first started, I could only resist for maybe 1 minute. However, 1 became 2, then 5, then 15, an hour, a day, a week. I still have OCD thoughts, but I can usually say something like, "I know that's an OCD thought. I'll check it tomorrow". Then I usually forget about it
It's also funny how much OCD individuals overlap. I've got strong OCD on both sides of my family as well and I had one hell of a time during/after COVID.
I don't know if this helps but I put together a list of things I learned on my OCD journey. Maybe it will be of some use to you:
healthunlocked.com/my-ocd/p...
It's also important to find people who specialize in OCD. I used my PCP as well for years and was referred to a psychiatrist a few years ago. Having a psychiatrist has really helped me since they deal with people with OCD all the time. They really understood the medications and treatment options. However, it does depend on the providers themselves. I've also run into some pretty bad ones as well.
You're also very welcome for the response. I've found that having OCD makes you very compassionate towards people's suffering. I guess that's a bit of a silver lining
@MayDay3 I echo what IStillHaveHope said about working with an OCD Specialist. Even then, I would suggest verifying that they have had and keep up with the specific training for OCD treatment. This isn’t something that is usually offered in graduate school so most therapists don’t have the training to treat OCD effectively. Some therapists claim they are OCD Specialists but really aren’t. As far as medication goes, I would suggest checking to see if the prescriber is familiar with the medications and treatments for OCD. Some prescribers aren’t aware that the frontline medications prescribed for OCD typically need to be prescribed at a higher dosage than some other conditions.
What are standard hygiene practices if you get splashed with toilet water while cleaning the toilet? All depends on the extent of the splashing. If few drops landed on your gloves (I assume you use gloves when you wash the toilet), you just wash them, once you're finished with them. If a fair amount of toilet water landed on your clothes, you may want to change them, take a shower, and then forget about it. I don't have contamination OCD, and it's what I would do.
However, after all your cleaning efforts, you don’t feel satisfied. You feel like doing more. If you go beyond reason in your cleaning efforts, there will be no immediate costs to it. You may even feel some temporary anxiety relief, but it will never be enough in the end. The costs of excessive cleaning are long term: it becomes time-consuming, distressing, and impairing.
Smoking is a bit similar in some regards. If smoking caused immediate cancer, nobody would smoke. However, the price to pay is remote and uncertain (maybe lung cancer in 30 or 40 years), so the temptation to smoke is there.
“I still feel dirty! What do I do?” Maybe the solution is to count on taking reasonable steps to appease your mind in a sustainable way, instead of counting on excessive cleaning. It takes time and efforts, but it’s worth it at the end of the day.
I feel absolutely filthy after cleaning the lavatory. And this is in spite of wearing rubber gloves and taking reasonable precautions. But it does wear off after a while, and I feel all right.
But remember that people clean their lavatories all the time. Somewhere, someone is cleaning one right now. And they may splash themselves. And then they will cook dinner, or pick their kids up from school, or go shopping - do all the things that people do all the time.
And the people they cook for don't get ill from having their dinner cooked by someone who has cleaned a lavatory. Their kids don't get ill. The people in the shops, staff and customers, don't get ill from it.
Feeling dirty isn't the same as being dirty. A little dirt is good for the immune system - it gives it a workout and keeps it fit. In fact, if you're too clean, the immune system, not having enough real work to do, can turn on your body and attack it. The result is auto-immune diseases.
I hope this doesn't alarm you - it's just to demonstrate that we need a little dirt. In fact, most germs are harmless or beneficial.
That's all rational stuff, but OCD doesn't always respond to rationalization. Try to live with the dirt for a while. Hold off washing or showering again for a bit at least. It isn't easy, but you get used to it and start feeling normal again. Like most people do, when they've cleaned their lavatory. And no one catches anything nasty from it.
The more you wash, the dirtier you feel - and then you wash again. It's a typical OCD circle.
I have psoriasis on my head, and it really used to upset me if I picked a little loose skin away. It made me feel filthy, and I'd put my clothes in the laundry and clean myself from top to toe. I don't do that now - though I have a thorough clean of myself and do my laundry each week - and I make sure that if I feel the urge to pull some loose skin away I wash my hands before and after. It takes some getting used to, but you can do it!
These feelings - of feeling dirty - do recede!
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