Does anyone have any advice on how to overcome Hell themed OCD & Anxiety?

[Dogmama212]

For context, I'm not a religious person, but I do 100% believe in a God/higher power and an afterlife of some sort, most definitely.

Also, I cannot afford therapy right now, so any advice would be appreciated.

However, I find myself in constant fear of an eternal Hell, to the point where my brain cannot let it go, even when I try to distract myself by talking to family, playing games, going shopping, etc. The fear does not leave me, I never have peace of mind and I've been feeling like this for months.

Now I know what happens after death is unknown and no one knows for sure, and I used to be content with that. I was always comfortable with death and nonchalant about it. Even going as far as to say that I didn't fear death at all. (And damn, do I miss that feeling!) Because there was no evidence of hell.

That was until I've read things about Hellish NDEs. Now, I know there are Christians out there who fabricate some of these stories to get people to convert out of fear, but I've read about them here on reddit, without the person having an agenda, they were just sharing their experience. And I know that the person can usually get out of it and that they usually turn positive, but those people weren't fully dead. Who knows what happens when they don't come back.

I've even read scarier things here on reddit, about hellish deathbed visions, where people see demons and the devil and complain that they're burning and have a terrified look in their eyes. These scare me more than the NDEs and only tells me that there's evidence of a Hell and that I should live in fear.

I want to believe that these are hallucinations, but it's hard to, especially when I believe that the positive ones are real and that people's passed loved ones do come get them when they're on their death bed.

So, has anyone else dealt with this theme of OCD and if so, how did you overcome it? I hate feeling and living like this. I just want to be comfortable with the unknown again and have my peace of mind back.

[Natureloverpeace]

Stick with the Ick is an app on the Apple App Store and Google Play. It was developed by an ordained minister who has OCD. She is a consultant between clergy and OCD specialists. The app is geared toward the intersection of faith and OCD and specifically addresses religious and moral scrupulosity. The app itself is free and the first tier (Foundations) is free. Essentials is $4.99/month, Connections is $14.99/month and I don’t remember the price of the Ick Academy tier. The group is for those with OCD, therapists and clergy. People of all faiths are welcome as are people without a faith. There is an interactive chat, several groups, webinars, a course and other opportunities. Some of the groups are led by OCD specialists. It is not a substitute for treatment but it can be very helpful. Scholarships are available for those who may need financial assistance paying for tiers other than the free one.

[deValentin]

I understand your experience. When I was younger, blasphemous thoughts used to pop into my head, and I was terrified of going to hell. The more I was trying to suppress those thoughts, the more they stuck to my mind. You probably heard of the pink elephant paradox.

Now, a question mark in regard to life after death has replaced my religious beliefs, and I'm OK with it. How did I arrive to that point?

I changed my focus. Now I'm interested in living the best life possible given the information I have presently, so it's less important what happens after death because whatever happens I know I tried as far as possible to live a loving and responsible life. Therefore whatever the future unfolds, I wouldn't lose everything: my self-esteem would be preserved.

I relied on habituation. What used to disturb my mind before (possibility of missing everlasting life) doesn't disturb me anymore with the passing of time. The fact that the topic doesn't disturb me anymore reinforces my belief that it's not important to me. This frees my mind to direct my attention towards the here and now. It's a virtuous cycle. I hope you could experience it again.

[IStillHaveHope]

Scrupulosity OCD was what originally triggered my OCD as a kid and fear of going to hell was a big one. My understanding of God has changed a lot since then and what I realized helped me not fear that as much anymore. What I realized is, that in the end, everything returns to God; even the devil himself (if he was real). Like you I believe in a higher power and that that higher power must be greater than any religion described by man. I don't know if you can understand this, but I believe there is no separation between us and God. In a way, we are God in disguise, sent here to learn the lessons He wishes to understand. To understand anything, you must experience it. If an omnipotent being wanted to understand something it would just create that experience to see what would happen. That's why He loves you. That's why He knows you better than yourself. He is you and all other things in this universe. He'd wouldn't destroy you or cast you off anymore than you would your own leg. That's how important you are to Him. That's why I don't believe in a traditional eternal hell. A loving God wouldn't allow it.

Now like you I've looked into NDEs and some of them are unpleasant. I do think it's possible for us to willingly turn away from Him and that that may persist for a time after we die. However, I don't believe He'll abandon us after death and if we turn to him, even then, He'll rescue us. That seems to be in line with the NDEs I've seen as well. That is why it doesn't bother me as much anymore, and I hope that may help you. I also know that what I've learned this far is hard to convey and that I am, in all honesty, probably misinterpreting and misunderstanding a lot of thoughts and events, so take all this with a grain of salt 🙂

Now as for the actual OCD. I don't know where you live, but initial therapy for me was pretty inexpensive (about $10 a session) in the US. I did have insurance at the time and I went to my doctor and told him how I felt. He prescribed some medicine and I asked him to refer me to a therapist. It took some time and wasn't easy (apparently I've sensitive to SSRIs which caused some complications) but I'm in a much better place than I was before. What I'm trying to say is that, even with little money, I was able to get help and find some peace. I truly wish the same thing for you my friend. God bless you.