SO-OCD Killing libido

[Snowboarder123]

Hello everyone I am 30 years old and have only dated women my entire life. I have had no attraction to men. However, due to some ROOCD Symptoms I was having performance issues with ED in the bedroom. After ruminating about these ED issues with severe anixety for months I one day out of nowhere developed SO-OCD.

This crushed me to a point where the rumination was 24/7 and the was so crippling I could not sleep due to severe Anxiety and rumination. I have since been taken medication to help with the anxiety which has helped alot. However, the rumination and intrusive thoughts has not stopped. The compulsions are still non stop.

Can anyone relate to this? Any tips?

[deValentin]

I understand how easy it is to get carried away in a reckless search for certainties or satisfaction in a domain we value. However, relying on obtaining absolute certainties to appease our mind in regard to our sexual orientation or some other domains only serves to perpetuate our OCD. We can’t get absolute certainties, but we can’t stop seeking them because we need to appease our mind and we don’t know how else to do it.

Personally, I don’t obsessionally need to determine my sexual orientation. My OCD concerns other domains. In order to control my OCD what I do is seeking healthy sources of peace of mind. For example, I establish some “red lines” to be sure I live in line with my values. Here are some examples.

1. If an issue disturbs my mind, I decide what’s a reasonable time trying to settle it, and I stop when the time is over, whether I reach a conclusion or not.

2. I determine what’s a healthy weight for my body, and I make sure I eat and do physical exercises in order to keep it within those preestablished reasonable limits.

3. If I need to perform a task, I establish a schedule and I make sure I don’t fall behind.

4. I personally don’t gamble, but I know that in order to stay in control of the game, you need to keep separate the amount of money you decide beforehand to gamble and your potential winnings.

In my opinion, setting some guidelines to one’s behavior and sticking to them helps to avoid falling down slippery slopes.

[Lauragbr]

Hi, I’m so sorry you are dealing with this. I’m glad you are on medication but hope you are seeing an OCD therapist who can help you as well. I try to think of my OCD sometimes as a petulant child who wants attention. That would be the intrusive thoughts. Giving in to the child is your compulsions. So you let the child aka OCD kick and scream all it wants. When you don’t give in aka compulsions the child eventually settles down. With OCD you have to continually ignore the child, sometimes you’ll be successful, sometimes you won’t. But like with a toddler, consistency is the point. It is not easy!!! I hope this helps.

[TrueBlue23 in reply to Lauragbr]

Great analogy! 👍

[teen_anxiety]

my favorite tip my therapist gave to me when it came to ruminating is to think of those thoughts as a train you watch the train come in out everything on it and watch the thoughts leave idk how well that will work for others but I thought I’d share with the hopes it might help you somehow I hope that your able to figure out something that works for you tho if this doesn’t

[IStillHaveHope]

Hello - I'm sorry you're having trouble right now. I really am. I'm not a doctor or a therapist, but are you in counselling for OCD? I know with medication and therapy there is about an 80% chance of recovery. The gold standard of this is Exposure Response Prevention (ERP) therapy. With ERP you'll develop strategies with you therapist to gradually face your fears. Over time this will reduce the intensity and frequency of these OCD thoughts. It's important to find a competent therapist who specializes in OCD. Talk therapy doesn't tend to work and often has adverse results.

I know how hard it can be when you're in an OCD spiral and are just stuck all day with these thoughts. Know though that there is help and there are tons of qualified people out there who want, and can, help. It is possible to live a healthy and productive life even if you have OCD. I and many people on this forum are proof.

I really hope you find the peace you deserve my friend. May God bless you.

[Backpackturtle]

I have found this workbook to be very helpful with my OCD. Getting Over OCD: A 10-Step Workbook for Taking Back Your Life by Jonathan Abramowitz

[youn]

How are you doing now I’m in the same boat as you right now. Anything helped you at all?

[Snowboarder123 in reply to youn]

Good days and bad days, I have basically quit drinking because I can’t handle the anxiety attacks. This has helped.

Writing down your intrusive thoughts and ranking them has helped me a lot with my ERP treatments.

youn

[youn in reply to Snowboarder123]

That’s good to hear. I also have my good and bad days but it feels like more bad days lately. Before this I never questioned myself or had these thoughts or feelings so I know it’s not my true self. I never had to check myself I always knew I liked woman and I never had thoughts of being with a man or never looked at gay porn or any that matter. Same like you I think the anxiety and depression have made me lose my sex drive as I no longer feel anything when I see a woman. When I don’t have anxiety I can find my true self and function like I use to without any doubt or worry. Do you have a therapist or practice own erp? I had this happen to me 6 years ago but my experience with therapy wasn’t pleasant I had a therapist who was gay tell me I was in denial and that it was okay to be gay but that just worsened my ocd and he never gave me any actual help for it. It all kind of went away on its own and I was back to my old self but that was till recently when I started having bad anxiety again. What medication do you take for anxiety btw?