Hi, I'm 27 from a small town in Texas and a licensed paramedic, and I was recently diagnosed with OCD, GAD, MDD, SAD after having a whole week of constant anxiety, panic attacks, and depression that I had to voluntarily hospitalized myself. It has been difficult.
I have lost over 9 pounds in the span of one week, I lost interest of doing everything I liked, even just simply listening to music or video games. The dread of the anxiety/panic attacks caused my depression to go overboard that I just simply wouldn't want to eat. I couldnt sleep for more than 3-5 hours. I LITERALLY FELT LIKE I WAS GOINT CRAZY. I had crying spells for days to the point i couldn't cry, and all the anxiety and panic attacks caused was fear of everything, and being bed bound. I had dealt with these kind of signs/symptoms before but I dealt with them myself and got off behavioral treatment, it appears my OCD comes in episodes and I recently had a relapse in it.
I am now on day #2 of medications (SSRI, and Anxiolytic) and soon counseling. As I said before I live in a small town so OCD is super stigmatized in my community to the point that it's difficult to find treatment unless I travel outside of town. I have no health insurance or finances to support myself due to how debilitating it has been, so im taking in anything I can that will help me.
I thank everyone who has been active and constant on this forum because it makes me feel less lonely with the suffering. Any tips, information, and more would be greatly appreciated. Let's try to keep each other active on here!
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I think you can get disability support from government because of your current support. It can be done by self or through attorney (many online options)
Meds will take sometime to kick in so hang in there..
I wonder if taking walks ( in sunlight) is something you can try to help with mood/ anxiety. Owing to your weight situation maybe even standing outside for 15-20min may be good
Good luck in your treatment and my best wishes for a speedy recovery!
1. The meds will work, but they may take a while. Based on evidence in literature and anecdotal evidence, it takes 12 to 16 weeks for SSRI’s to have significant effect on OCD. A small part of the cause is because you must use near max doses of SSRI’s to affect OCD and therefore doctors usually take some time to ramp up the dose. The majority of the cause is because the kind of thinking changes that must happen are different from those with other problems such as depression. SSRI’s tend to help depression sooner, maybe in 3 or 4 weeks.
2. The book Brain Lock by Jeffrey Schwartz is a very good explanation of what OCD is doing to you and methods of treating it, including some you can use on your own. I highly recommend it. This is the link to it on Amazon: amazon.com/Brain-Lock-Twent...
3. The IOCDF (international OCD foundation) has a YouTube channel with informational videos. They also have live streams with experts and advocates, such as this one, youtu.be/cULgAXxDtqs The IOCDF YouTube channel is here: youtube.com/@IOCDF
4. There is a British documentary, OCD and Me, which is currently available on Pluto TV. It is a useful watch if you can get to it.
5. If you check my profile for replies to other people’s posts, you can find some other suggestions I’ve offered to people.
You will get past this. My several experiences taught me I’ll have to keep an eye on this for the rest of my life.
I just wanted to say sorry for what you’re going through. See if you can check your vitamin levels especially B12. I hope you feel better and you’re definitely not alone.
Thank you for the advice, after a big episode health anxiety research days ago I did see the NIH article research on b21 levels and OCD. This is something I would have to talk to my PCP next time.
Hi. I'm really sorry that you're having such a hard time now. I know how awful OCD can be and COMPLETELY understand what you're going through. For me it took about 10-14 days for me to start to feel the affects of the SSRI's (maybe like 75% to 80% there) and a few more weeks to get to 100%. They don't make the thoughts go away, but seem to tamper them down so that I can ignore or deal with them better. That's where therapy comes in. Once you're in a state where you can more easily deal with the emotions you can start to develop skills to cope with them. This is what a therapist will help you with.
I don't know if this will help, but I put together a post with some of my experiences that I was hoping would help out those who are just starting out on their OCD journey. It's located here if you'd like to take a look.
Hey hope, thank you very much for the reply. I will look into your post to find more help, I'll take anything at this point! I'm now on day #4 of SSRI and anxiolytics and the side effects have affected me as much (besides being sleepy). Now all I can hope for is to gain their benefits!
I'm so glad you voluntarily went into the hospital. That takes a lot of strength to do, and I applaud you for your initiative. Give yourself a big hug. You saved your life, which is a major event. Please take the time to get lots of rest because you have been through a hell of a time emotionally. In small towns, there's plenty of stigma about mental health problems of any sort, so I'm guessing people are not coming around with casseroles like they would if you had broken your leg.
As a paramedic you're used to dealing with emergency situations and interventions. Unfortunately, taking medication and getting therapy for depression, anxiety, and OCD is a long, slow process of healing. There's a continuum of care that will go on for months, if not years. As others have said, the medication won't really start to work on your depression, anxiety, etc. for several weeks. It takes a lot of patience and remembering to breathe deeply. Try not to put pressure on yourself to "get better" faster. Your body and mind will heal at their own pace. It may be that your medication dosage will be altered, or your medication will be changed, etc. Every medication works differently for each person's body, so it's going to take trial and error to find the best combination for you. Definitely keep a log of medications, doses, changes, and side effects. This will help you keep track of what's going on, and, if you need to switch doctors, will be invaluable down the road.
Did the hospital have a designated coordinator/facilitator to help ease you back into everyday life? That person would be the one to call to ask about temporary benefits and financial help. They would also be able to advise you about filing for disability. If there wasn't such a person, then get in touch with a patient support/financial counselor at the hospital. These people are employed to help patients sign up for programs that will pay for medications and doctor's appointments. They should be able to file a Medicaid application for you on the spot, if you qualify. Once you get into therapy, the counselor can be your advocate by writing letters in support of whatever benefits you decide to seek.
I hope this helps. You are doing the best you can, and you are going through hell. Things will get better! Hang in there!
Hi there and welcome to the health unlocked! I'm really sorry you are feeling so terrible. Trust me I KNOW what it is. When I am off my meds, my OCD episodes are just as severe as you described yours. I call it hell on earth. I lose a lot of pounds in a matter of days simply because I could not eat or sleep.
But I want to tell you one thing, it doesn't get any worse than this. From here on you will only get better. Sometimes it feels like you will never get out of this crazy cycle but you will. I promise.
Allow me to share a few thoughts/pieces of advice with you.
1. Stick to your meds. Way too many times I listened to my mom and discontinued taking them. The biggest mistake in my life!!!!! It all comes back.
2. OCD doesn't go away entirely but with the meds, it stops bothering you and you almost don't even pay attention. You will be able to have a normal life.
3. Find an OCD specialist. Check NOCD website.
4. Buy the book "Overcoming unwanted intrusive thoughts" by Sally Winston. I listen to it when my OCD is stronger than usual.
5. Focus on yourself now and try not to worry about other people. I know this is very hard, especially in your condition. You might experience extreme guilt about almost everything. That's not you, it's the OCD and it will go away.
6. If you need to talk to someone, feel free to text me any time.
Thank you for the reply phoenyx! I've been constant with my medications now, I'm on day #4! I really appreciate the suggestions and help. There has been a few other users here who I've been talking to on a daily basis which has been helping alot. Please message me, tell me your story and your experiences and other advice! I'm constantly checking this site daily!
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