Ghost ocd. I am struggling so much

[Against_the_current]

Hi. I just feel like a truck has run over me. So stiff, so anxious all the time, insane headache, dizziness, nightmares, rn can't even breathe. And my thoughts are ruining wild. Everything stressed me, nothing is pleasurable to do, everything is stressing. I feel like i couldn't proceed my trauma. Like it's stuck in my body and mind. I feel broken. I'm having therapy but it's not working. I dread the calls with my therapist. 2 years only gotten me worse. The other one that i tried dissapeared and is rude and i haven't sent my homework but i can't, i'm slipping.

Also had some intrusive thoughts of passed ones and i feel like these thoughts will bother them and summond them to haunt me. I'm really scared of ghosts. One really scary shaman told me my anxiety is caused by a ghost. And my mom and Grandma always dream of passed ones and i'm scared. I know it's just my mind being traumatized and triggered (i hope). It's really scary, i slept with the lights on. I don't want to insult the gone ones but i have these intrusive thoughts about them and i panic that they might be bothered and summonded. (Oh now ghosts, i'm going insane)

[Bookishbunny]

I have this as a theme too. Know you aren't alone. While I went through this theme i thought i was insane, i had never heard of another person with OCD who had it. I thought id never get through, but i did and so will you. Just try and survive for now nothing i can say will make you feel safe but here are some encouraging words. You are not cursed. You are not broken or haunted. You are whole and perfect just as you are. There are people out here that know just how you feel you arent alone. I hope you get over this hurdle soon.

[Against_the_current in reply to Bookishbunny]

Thank you! You're not alone as well ❤️

[missperiwinkle]

I also struggle with something similar. As a child, I was unable to be alone in my home at all because of my intense fear of ghosts and would wait outside for hours until my parents were home from work. Even now as an adult I still struggle with this. On bad days, I cannot sleep with the lights off and have to have white noise playing or I will convince myself that every sound I hear is a ghost who is mad at me. I also feel like my thoughts/fear will upset the ghosts which causes me further distress.

Know that you aren't alone! What helps me most when these thoughts are bad is to turn on the white noise (I usually use a fan or listen to rain sounds). Drowning out excess noise helps my brain find peace so I am able to fall asleep.

[Against_the_current in reply to missperiwinkle]

It's rough. You aren't alone. I'm trying to fall asleep on meditations. Too bad i fall asleep in classes 😅

[Mcfly64]

Maybe you need to see a new therapist. Are you on medication? You said you are speaking to your therapist on the phone. Can you see one face to face?

[Against_the_current in reply to Mcfly64]

Maybe my therapist and talking on the phone isn't right. Trying to work on finding a new one to talk in person. I'm on meditation and many psychiatrists said that's for me and it's too risky to change it.