I'm very afraid to go to therapy

[lavender514]

Hi, I have been very preoccupied and troubled whether to go for my therapy session this Saturday. I am doing ERP therapy but lately in my sessions I think we end up focusing on the obsessions, which makes it worse after. So I could be doing okay for the week, but after going to therapy, these obsessions come out even more which makes me feel worse.

Ideally I should raise this concern with my therapist next session, but I am utterly afraid of attending my upcoming session for fear of triggering these obsessions. What should I do? I broke down at work today because I felt so overwhelmed by the question of whether to go or not to go. I couldn't focus on my work at all. I can't make a decision. I obsess over this the whole day

[deValentin]

In my opinion, OCD is, among other things, an executive function (making decisions, behavior control, managing tasks, etc.) disorder. There are basically two types of problems in this world: problems that need our attention and efforts to be solved, and problems that are solved by themselves by getting used to them. People suffering from OCD try to willfully solve the second type that is better left alone at the expense of the first type that requires our concentrated efforts.

So, in my opinion, it’s better to leave irrational intrusive thoughts alone as far as possible, refrain from doing compulsions or ruminations even it’s not always easy and positive results aren’t immediate, and focus on what one would do normally if one never suffered from OCD. With good experiences, a well-grounded self-confidence is gradually restored. It's at least my experience.

PS: In my experience, in order to do ERP, I have enough potential OCD triggers that come to me naturally. I don't feel the need to artificially create some. But, it may not be the case for everybody.

[RLSSCARER]

I'd recommend more vitamin c from lemons and fruits, moringa is a natural alternative to vitamins and can reduce stress without side effects. The bible says don't be afraid 365 times. Mind over matter.

what does love do next?

Is the question i ask myself when having my issues.

I wish you love, jpy and happiness.

[Natureloverpeace in reply to RLSSCARER]

A healthy diet is important in overall mental and physical health. The goal of OCD treatment isn’t to reduce stress. People with OCD do compulsions to negate distress which brings temporary relief thereby reinforcing the obsessions and the OCD cycle is strengthened. This is how OCD grows and becomes more severe.

[RLSSCARER in reply to Natureloverpeace]

It's important to work on your mind, you control the mind or it controls you, what you sow matters, how you think matters, every thought has its price, getting proper treatment for the subconscious mind involves doing the work mentally, you must change your thoughts to change your life. Finding affirmations and using them every day at night is how you change your subconscious and unconscious behaviour. You sow at night then you reap the outcome eventually.

For example

I'm perfectly in control in all situations

Every day in every way I'm getting better and better

I am strong, smart and ready to handle the deepest issues

I do my best in all situations.

These are simple things anyone can do, it takes a few weeks to feel the results.

[IStillHaveHope]

Hi Lavender - I'm sorry you're having a difficult time right now. As I'm sure you know, it's very common for OCD symptoms to get worse initially after starting therapy. You are starting to face things that you've been actively avoiding. ERP should cause you some distress, but not be overwhelming. I think it might be good to discuss this in your upcoming session. It could be that you're pushing yourself to hard. The ERP exercises as I understood them was to put together an Exposure Ladder. You write down the obsessions you want to work on and organize them from the easiest to approach to the hardest. You then start with the easiest and work your way up. As you progress you gain confidence on you abilities and are better able to handle the hard ones. Perhaps that might be worth doing?

Also, it does sound like you are obsessing over your upcoming session and ruminating over the decision. It could be that this is just another OCD thought. I don't think it's a good idea to skip your session, but you have to move at your pace, not the pace the therapist would like you to. I had one therapist tell me, "Everyone gets there at their own speed". You just need to find what yours is You will get there. I have no doubt about it.

I hope you find some solace in this.