It's real me or not!?

[sha_lost]

Few weeks ago I visited to a office. It takes me 1 minutes to finish my work in the office. I just receive a document from the staff. After leaving the office a thought pop up on my mind that, "I may hurt the staff and this is recorded on cctv. And I may be insulted in future for this." But I know that I never didn't do this. This is impossible to do in 1 minutes. I have remember all details of that 1 minutes. And repeatedly thinking that event on mind whole days. But It gives me distress. I got fear. After few weeks of obsession I visit that office again, I talk to the staff. I notice that every thing is okay. I got relax for few hours. But Again I got same intrusive though. I am lost......................................................................

[IStillHaveHope]

Hello - I'm sorry you're having difficulties right now. From reading some of your other posts it sounds like this is a common OCD though you are having. It is counter intuitive, but in order to deal with this you need to allow the thought to just "be". This is part of ERP. Have the thought and do nothing about it. Don't question it; don't try and stop it; don't try to figure it out. Just allow it to be there. In the beginning this will be very hard. Your OCD will scream and shout. It will tell you that you're a horrible person; that you're making a huge mistake; that you must check now. However, I have found that there is often a smaller voice that tells me, "I know this isn't a big deal.". Over time you're brain will rewire itself and realize that these thoughts are not a threat. The frequency and intensity of the OCD will decrease.

That's what therapy does. It teaches you these skills. The medicine tones down the intensity of thoughts to allow you to face them. If you are having trouble getting access to a doctor or therapist there are many online tools and books that can help as well. NOCD is an app that claims to help with these techniques but I have not used it. Some people on this forum have though. A book that really helped me was the OCD workbook. It's pretty cheap and helped me understand what i was going through better. You can buy it on Amazon here:

amazon.com/OCD-Workbook-Bre...

Wishing you the best

[sha_lost in reply to IStillHaveHope]

Thank you so much for your time. I know these technique, But my brain tell me all time that : "what if this is true event not ocd", I lost all my happiness, fun. Living like a dead man. Forget to laugh.

[IStillHaveHope in reply to sha_lost]

I'm so sorry. I know that OCD is hard, but there is hope. I've been in that deep hole of out of control OCD so I know how it feels. Most of this people on this forum have been there too. It takes so much out of us, but it does make you stronger. I don't know what you believe, but I think that God gives his toughest challenges to his best warriors. There is light at the end of the tunnel

Much like you I spent a lot of time wondering if what I was thinking was really OCD. It took a long time, but I got better at differentiating when it was an OCD thought and when it wasn't. It's a very common theme with OCD to have us even doubt ourselves

If you can, speak with a doctor and or therapist. I was very hesitant and scared at first but things got so much better once I did.