I've never been diagnosed for ocd, but I exhibit most if not all the signs. After researching, I realized I have real event ocd. This started when I was a young child. I would have to confess things I have done to my mom. Mind you ,she is Bipolar. Anyway all my guilt stems from real events where I have said and done the wrong things and some have had bad consequences. Doing rituals and compulsive things r a big part of it, I guess to relieve anxiety. Guilt is the worse, where I feel I am not a good person, don't deserve to enjoy life, and wish I was with my mom and dad in heaven to right some of the wrongs I have done to them. I also feel guilty any wrongs to people I have ever hurt in my life. If anyone has this type of ocd, I would love to hear from u.
Real event OCD: I've never been diagnosed... - My OCD Community
Real event OCD
If my understanding is correct, you wish you never said and done some wrong things in the past. You also wish to make amends for the wrong things you have done to your parents, and you wish to be a good person. There is nothing wrong about regretting certain of our actions and wanting to make up for them. However, the reality is that we can’t change the past no matter how long we beat ourselves up. What’s done is done. It's important to recognize that wishing alone will not make anything happen, although it’s not easy to give up the OCD belief that if we wish something hard enough, we’ll make it happen. We may or may not.
That OCD belief is not uncommon. Personally, for many years I held the belief that if I persisted long enough in trying to find answers to all my existential questions, I will surely find them.
To find it difficult it to abandon the belief we can magically erase all our past errors or unfailingly find what we're desperately looking for isn’t a sign we really want to hang on to that irrational belief. It’s just a sign we really regret some of our past actions or desire to solve a problem, and want to have a better life and be a better person. How can we be a better person? By facing reality, letting go of the past, learning from our past mistakes, accepting certain things are outside of our control, and trying to leave the world a better place than how we found it. I know it’s not always an easy path, but it’s worth it in the end.
Thank u so much for all your insights. It was my mom who died and our relationship was where we fought alot the last few years. I told her I was sorry, she forgave me, but our relationship was never the same and I never got to say goodbye before she died and I wanted to tell her so many things. It became a very complicated relationship because of her bipolar as well.
You can't expect to behave the same with someone with a bipolar disorder than with someone without. It makes relationships so much more complicated as you said. You may have done your best under the circumstances. There is also a time to start with a clean state. Not everybody has a chance to say a final goodbye to a loved one. Does it mean that they have to grieve forever? Maybe your grieving process isn't complete yet. An incomplete grieving process may hinder our ability to enjoy life again despite the loss.
Thank u for taking the time. I hope things go well with u and u r able to find peace with your ocd issues. It's not easy because u can't tell your thoughts to leave u alone. It's a constant work in progress.
Is this really OCD?
feeling guilty - real event ocd
OCD Ruining Dates
OCD while grieving the death of my mum 
