My old god complex

[shaynokb]

First of all, hello, after a long time, hope everyone has a good day, today I will tell you about my god complex and I want to explain it and chat with you. I see myself as higher in perception than most people, that is, among the people I know, this is because the people around me always look at life positively and try to enjoy life. Because to me, this life is empty and gray and dark, after all, it has an end and I don't understand why they sometimes take even such simple problems as a problem. We are grains of dust in the universe and I have accepted that life is pessimistic and that's why I get angry. I hope I can explain myself to other people. Anyway, let me continue, my main problem is 1 I started university 5 months ago, I literally feel like a god in high school, I was great, as if I was constantly under the influence of a drug, entertainment, everything, of course, this pessimism was eating me up, but I was enjoying it, I was social, but now I can't even talk. I have had an eye contact problem with people for many years, but my problem of not being able to talk has emerged. Now my voice is literally falling apart, I can't chat, I constantly feel like people are watching me and criticizing me, how can I get over my fear of meeting these people and making eye contact? Is there a name given to my general psychology?

[80_Zil_ian]

Hello! First, don't get me wrong, but I've always found the concept "Why care? If we are just a grain of dust in the universe" very simplistic and shallow. All this infinity isn’t your life. Sure, you're part of it—the universe—but a star exploding 50 thousand light-years away doesn’t change anything here. An event of millions of megatons so far away should matter less to you than even the silliest anxiety crisis. After all, you can't do anything for the universe, but you can do something for yourself and the people around you.

This is just my opinion, but sometimes people believe that the more nihilistic they become, the less they'll suffer in life. But that's counterproductive—you still need to pay your bills, finish college, find a job or activity... That’s how life is. It’s easier to find something or someone to care about than to live life on autopilot... The prove? Try to do all of this without believing in anything. It is very likely that you will suffer and feel much more exhausted than if you apply a more realistic and mature approach—one that accept the contradictions of life and existence but still leaves you with some motivation to keep going.

That said, depression can be hard due to the chemicals in our brain being unbalanced. Did you see a doctor to diagnose if you are in depression? About your difficulty with interaction, I'm not sure what you mean by "I can't chat," but isn't this a consequence of your pessimism and losing interest in life instead of a cause?

There probably isn't an easy answer here, but I believe that if you are here, it means you still want to try to improve and live differently from how you are now. And that is already a first step.