Again, Afraid of incidental eye contact

[RUtalkingtome]

Was driving home just now from the local dog park and a few blocks from my house I saw a woman on the street with a large German Shepherd walking towards me on the passenger side of the car. I saw her looking in the car in an indifferent way, not good, not bad, at least I hope. I glanced at her then immediately looked away to the other side of the street. I made my turn and that was it. Before this I saw a man three blocks up the street walking a dog and the same thing happened, a quick glance at each other and that was it, didn't think anything of it.

People naturally observe each other when they cross paths head on.

But I'm always worried I did something wrong when I glance at a woman in my path. Since August I've been on this site because a woman in my town gives me the stink eye any time we cross paths, for reasons I'm totally unaware. I've only spoken with her once. This put me back in therapy.

I've never had this fear of making casual eye contact with women I cross paths with in the course of a day, ever. Now I'm paranoid. The other day I was getting on an elevator, when the door opened there was only a woman there, she was going up to. I said, "oops, sorry, I think I left something in the car." ......I was scared to be on the elevator alone with her. My OCD centers around being wrongfully accused of something horrible and I have Real Event OCD.

The normal response of observing people in one's path now presents a risk to my OCD brain, how did the OCD get this bad, how did I get this paranoid?

I don't objectify woman, I'm not a cat caller. I would never do anything to demean woman or make them feel uncomfortable. I'm the guy who helps a woman fix a flat tire in the pouring rain. All my relationships with woman at work, home and social activities have always been wonderful and I've been married to a woman for 42 years who never would have stayed with me if I treated women poorly. I know I'm a good man.

This new obsession about eye contact with women has gone on for about a year.

My therapist met my wife this week for a joint session and they both reassured me I was a good man, but I'm afraid of being perceived as a bad man.

WHAT'S WRONG WITH ME?

theocdandanxietycenter.com/...

[Sallyskins]

That's so typical of OCD - it makes us afraid of doing something bad - something that deep down we know we wouldn't do.

Try to rationalize it though we may, OCD doesn't always respond to rational thought. But if you're sure that this woman you've only met once is hostile to you, then what of it? Perhaps it's the natural expression on her face. But if she is truly hostile, then it sounds as though it's her problem and not yours.

It sounds as though her (perceived) hostility to you has set your OCD off. But getting over it involves a little ERP. It's going to be uncomfortable - and I don't suggest you put yourself in the way of strange women deliberately. But don't avoid them either. If the elevator you want to use already contains one woman, don't run off. Stick it out if you can. No need to make conversation with her or anything. And remember that it's only for a couple of minutes. It's good practice.

[RUtalkingtome in reply to Sallyskins]

thanks❤️

[Midori]

If you have difficulty with eye contact, try looking at their forehead or the tip of their nose instead. It helps.

I often do it when I want to assert dominance, (which is rare), but sometimes necessary as an old lady, (76) when you get a bunch of kids trying to torment you.

I also find wearing something unexpected will help. For instance, Almost all my tees and sweatshirts have slogans and amusing pictures on. For instance, Today's sweatshirt has an owl, and says 'Not Only does my Mind Wander, Sometimes it walks off Completely!'

I have another which has a wolf's head which says 'Nope! Can't go to He**; Satan still has a restraining order against me!'

I get a lot of giggles in the supermarket!

Cheers, Midori