CRAVING FOR HELP ! 🙏🏻

[hopetobebetter]

Sorry for annoying all of you but I need help, please!

I am an 21 years old (m) and have been feeling pretty awful these last days. I have always been an caring and loving person to everybody. I had a very bad headache in Dec.30 . I didn't pay attention to that. But at Jan.1, I went out with some cousins, I ended up arguing with them very seriously because they were making jokes about me, and we left without speaking to each-other. In the morning I had severe headache. I was just thinking about what they did to me and was very sad, and was thinking about beating them when we meet. Since that day, I started having intrusive thoughts about harming my family members and got very sad. Looking on Reddit, I thought I had HARM OCD (pure), but I don't know how but I got somehow desinitised to these thoughts. Now they don't affect me very anxiety. Yesterday I was thinking why I stopped being stressed, and I thought: " WHAT IF THESE THOUGHTS WERE NOT CAUSED IMMEDIATLY? WHAT IF I AM REALLY AN HARMFUL PERSON BECAUSE I WANTED TO HARM MY COUSINS? WHAT IF I WAS NEVER AN GOOD PERSON? ".

These thoughts are making me feel like an psychopath. I just want to know if this is any kind of HARM OCD or just psychopathy? 🙏🏻🥲🥲