The fading power of OCD management watchwords

[deValentin]

There are many catchphrases to help people manage their OCD: “thoughts are only thoughts”, “if it feels like it might be OCD, it is OCD; if it were reality, it wouldn’t feel like it even might be OCD”, “OCD is confusing imagined possibilities with real probabilities”, etc. In the past I mainly counted on the psychological effect of a watchword to feel motivated to practice response prevention. However, with the wear of time, that effect faded, and when that happened, I was finding myself desperately scrambling in search for a new mantra. And the cycle repeated itself more than once. It’s when I realized that watchwords are only there to guide our actions, not to supply us with permanent motivation. Now I rely on regular efforts towards an OCD-free life to feel motivated to keep doing it. That source of motivation never fades away because it’s renewed every day. It’s what Robert Nozick proposes in The Nature of Rationality (1993): to use the sunk costs bias, that is, investing resources in the pursuit of the larger later reward (an OCD-free life, in that case), to get past the temptation to choose the smaller sooner reward (the short-lived relief that giving in to compulsions provides). Can anybody relate to that experience?

[Hidden]

I do try to approach it from that angle, try to apply stoic principles, remind myself of my values and hiw much OCD costs me. But it comes and goes in waves. There are times when my OCD is very well managed and I feel like I'm cured. And then it comes crashing back out of nowhere. It's just a struggle, not matter how rational my thinking through it is.

[deValentin in reply to Hidden]

In my opinion, there is no permanent cure to OCD and flare-ups depend on circumstances and one’s level of stress. If you have a tender conscience, find it difficult to be satisfied with reasonable evidence in a certain domain (who knows? I could be wrong, what if I’m wrong? etc.) and equally difficult to accept that state of affairs, the temptation to require and seek too much certainty in that domain in order to put your mind at ease may never completely disappear. However, you can learn to resist that temptation and make OCD manageable. You may experience relapses from time to time, but what’s important is to go generally in the right direction and get over occasional bumps on the road. Bouts of indecisiveness (I can’t settle an issue) and intolerance of uncertainty (I can’t stop trying to settle that issue no matter what) can affect anybody anytime given the right circumstances.

I experienced what you’re describing, but now I find OCD leaves me reasonably alone. What helped me is to realize that I can’t allow myself to give in to compulsions despite the difficulties. If I start to do it, I know I will never be able to stop because my only hope to return to a reasonable life would be to get the absolute certainty or the just right feeling I will never be able to get. So, I would be trapped in an endless and futile pursuit. On the other hand, if I refuse to let myself obsess about something that I have no reasons to obsess about and I let time gradually abate my discomfort, the potentially obsessive thought (or image or urge) goes away on its own. Delaying irrational impulses, but not reasonable actions, nurtures faith in myself, and self-confidence makes OCD loose its punch. It’s indeed a struggle, but it pays off in the end.