Our conscience is supposed to make us feel uncomfortable when we do something contrary to our values and comfortable when we do something in accordance with them. Can we rely on it at all times as an inner voice that tells us what’s right and wrong? For instance, if we start to let possessions accumulate around us in a disorderly fashion, we may end up not being bothered by the mess we live in (unless we receive an eviction notice or a family member plans to visit us). Is it because when we get used to something that would have bothered us in the past, we gradually stop being bothered by it (boiling frog syndrome)? At the same time, we may feel torn apart if somebody throws away some of our belongings that appear useless to the eyes of an independent observer. Do we sometimes resist parting with possessions because we don’t take time to get used to the discomfort that separation from something familiar causes (I believe that this could happen to anybody who has a personal vulnerability in that domain and given the right set of circumstances)? So, an absence of discomfort doesn’t necessarily mean that everything we’re doing is all right, and discomfort doesn’t necessarily mean we’re doing something wrong. How can we tell the difference?
If we depend on making overall reasonable choices in life as a source of well-being, then we’ll feel comfortable making them and uncomfortable not making them. This, of course, will necessitate that we sometimes look at things with fresh eyes, and other times we endure hardships. If, on the other hand, we depend on avoiding to make tough decisions to be at peace with ourselves, we’ll feel comfortable when things are going well for us and uncomfortable when they are not. So, it looks like our conscience functions well depending on where we essentially seek our emotional comfort.
In my personal situation, I give in to compulsions because, even if I know it’s ridiculous, I feel in the moment that I can’t live without finding reassuring answers to the issue that’s currently troubling me. If, instead on counting on elusive answers to be contented (short-term solution), I rely on resisting compulsions and living a values-based life (long-term solution), OCD loses its punch.
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deValentin
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I don't think conscience and OCD are the same thing. At least, I can tell the difference - my conscience tells me very different things to what an OCD compulsion tries to make me do.
I try to follow my conscience - though I have occasionally found myself in awkward dilemmas. Quite some while ago I worked for a large organization where I was given the job of secretary to a project whose remit was streamlining the organization, with possible loss of jobs. My boss knew my political beliefs and of my involvement in the trade union - and he still trusted me - rightly, as I'm not one to betray trust. A good friend, also in the trade union, wanted me to photocopy and hand over some sensitive documents to the union - and basically be a mole - I refused and we had a furious row. I'm not the stuff secret agents are made of and I wasn't tempted for a moment. But I felt the anomaly of my situation and asked to be moved to another job.
That had nothing to do with OCD - and felt very different. By the way, I do live in chaos and I don't get used to it! I had a bit of a clear up the other day, which I'm continuing, and making progress in getting my place sorted. It really does feel lousy living in a mess, and it does make me feel better to have some clear space and things put away!
Thank you for your response and you’re absolutely right. OCD and conscience are not the same thing, even if sometimes it feels the same and it’s easy to confuse the two. It’s was I meant to say. In my opinion, you chose a good example where discomfort was justified at work and you did what was necessary to remove it. However, some people experience tormenting thoughts and attribute them to their conscience. Their reasoning is: “if I’m so disturbed by an incident in the past, it must be my conscience telling me that I did something seriously wrong”. How to tell the difference? If I take the example you gave, you made a decision that was not easy at first (confrontation with somebody and job transfer), but in the end you felt good about it. That’s conscience. If you give in to the search for the perfect solution to your woes at any cost, for instance, you feel relieved at first, but in the end, you’re not satisfied and you’re caught in a spiral. That’s OCD.
As for a prolonged chaotic accumulation of things, one may still feel bad at times, but not enough to want to do what’s is necessary to improve one’s living conditions (unless one decides to make a fresh start). At the same time, it may be momentary unpleasant to separate with objects that were your companions for a long time (have you seen the film Cast Away and the role of a volleyball in a solitary life?), but, you’re right, regaining more free space where it’s easier to find what one needs makes it worth it in the end.
I didn't feel that good about rowing with my friend and asking for a transfer from my job - I liked my boss and liked working for him, though our political beliefs were completely different from one another. But it was the right decision and I acted true to my conscience.
I like that Quaker notion of the 'inner light' - the light of reason and conscience. Moral dilemmas aren't always clear cut, and our own desires and wishes often get in the way and muddy the waters, but one can still work out the right thing to do. It's often a question of our private rights and duties versus our public rights and duties - and getting an equilibrium.
Of course OCD can make you torment yourself over things that you've done in the past - things that you know or think were wrong. But self-flagellation over real or perceived wrongs can be self-indulgence in itself. On the whole, it's better to feel bad, learn from it, and move on resolved not to do the same again.
I don't know the film, but I can imagine what you're referring to. A lot of the surplus stuff in my house is just crud, to be honest - mainly old papers that need sorting and either putting in the recycling or shredding. It can feel overwhelming - the thought of tackling them - but it feels cathartic once you cleared a space.
"Self-flagellation over real or perceived wrongs can be self-indulgence in itself", I like that thought. Physical flagellation is still practiced nowadays in the Christian and Muslim faith, though maybe to a lesser degree. I'm wondering to what extent it's an OCD symptom or a freely chosen moral value. Maybe it varies from person to person. The DSM-5 classifies nonsuicidal self-injury disorder (NSSID) as a condition in need of further study, but I would not be surprised if researchers establish a connection with OCD.
Interesting. I don't think physical self-flagellation is a normal expression of religious faith - though not being religious myself, I'm no expert on it!
I think it's certainly classifiable as self-harm - often the result of confused feelings about sex and the body and the supposed need to punish the body for sexual arousal. There could well be a link with OCD. Eating disorders may be linked to OCD - they certainly have many things in common, including distorted perception, and though not all religious fasting is attributable to an eating disorder (it's often a custom rather than anything else) I have heard of girls and young women starving themselves to death and subsequently being canonized as saints.
I don't think excessive self-punishment is something to admire. Atonement for wrongdoing is one thing, but too much of it can verge on self-indulgence and be an indication of self-obsession - turning inwards on oneself rather than outwards to society.
You’re right. In Christianity and Shia Islam, opinions differ on the virtues of self-flagellation. This leads to many questions (in a non-obsessional manner though; it took me time, but I learnt when to stop 😊). For instance, in the Middle Ages anchorites and anchoresses chose to be walled up alive to live their religious faith. Anorexia Mirabilis or holy anorexia was practiced by many saints, like you said (I agree with the difference between occasional religious fasting and starving oneself to death). Which came first, the chicken or the egg? Do some people give a religious meaning to a personal inclination to make it look acceptable, or do social values of the time period give rise to a personal inclination? Does the world of fashion or classical ballet promote anorexia, or are individuals with personal vulnerabilities in that domain attracted to that world? Or is there a reciprocal effect?
In the past I’ve met people who self-harm as a desperate attempt to relieve their psychological distress (I guess it helped them focus on something else or calm down when they become a physical threat to themselves) and people with anorexia who are obsessed with calories counting and in partial denial of reality. It’s true, they try to battle their inner demons first, hoping they’ll succeed and then be able to focus on the outside world.
Among others, I like the method used by Scottish philosopher David Humes who wrestled with existential OCD: “Where am I, or what? From what causes do I derive my existence, and to what condition shall I return? Whose favour shall I court, and whose anger must I dread? What beings surround me? and on whom have I any influence, or who have any influence on me? I am confounded with all these questions, and begin to fancy myself in the most deplorable condition imaginable, inviron'd with the deepest darkness, and utterly depriv'd of the use of every member and faculty.
Most fortunately it happens, that since reason is incapable of dispelling these clouds, nature herself suffices to that purpose, and cures me of this philosophical melancholy and delirium, either by relaxing this bent of mind, or by some avocation, and lively impression of my senses, which obliterate all these chimeras. I dine, I play a game of back-gammon, I converse, and am merry with my friends; and when after three or four hour's amusement, I wou'd return to these speculations, they appear so cold, and strain'd, and ridiculous, that I cannot find in my heart to enter into them any farther.”
The monotheistic religions often do have strict codes of behaviour which focus on the body and its supposedly sinful nature. Hence self-flagellation - and though some people may be drawn to the religious life because of this, I think that some manifestations of these religions encourage unhealthy attitudes to the body and sex.
Surely people are drawn to ballet because of its artistic merits - and to fashion for the same reason - the problem is not so much ballet or fashion themselves as the pressure to conform to an extreme body shape that has become normalized. A recent expose of a leading ballet school in England highlighted the inducing of eating disorders in young dancers by demands that they lose weight. The fashion industry does this as well. Though some body types are more desirable than others, it's perfectly possible to be a good dancer or good fashion model without going to bodily extremes.
In some ways the fashion industry reminds me of the dog breeding industry - some dogs are bred (and indeed inbred) to conform to unhealthy Kennel Club rules of what a breed should be - often to the point of ugliness. Mongrels and mutts are healthier - and often more beautiful - and make just as good animal companions.
Self-harm is a medical condition - some people feel temporary relief from cutting and I've been known to punch or bite myself in frustration at my own OCD. It's not so much a self-punishment as a turning of my anger inwards because I don't want to turn it outwards.
Excessive feelings of guilt I don't think are helpful though. It's better to learn from your mistakes, not repeat them, and try to make a positive contribution to society than to obsess about your own burden of guilt. Too much 'mea culpa' is self-indulgent - it does no one else any good and is a form of egotism.
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