needing to vent,sad,ocd jealousy

[OCDlivrecovery]

Hi everyone! I just need to vent because i'm just nervous to bring it up to my partner. He is very understanding of my OCD unless it affects him or its directed at him, I understand that.. I have been working on it very hard but in therapy i have noticed things that trigger me or things ive asked him to change, dont really. I have alot of ocd and insecurites because I have been cheated on before in the past, so has he w his last relationship. Theres a girl he is refers to in his one class at college and makes remarks about her being dumb and stupid, there group was on a zoom call and i noticed she was a young blonde attractive girl, like myself (not in a vain way) and never ever gives me a reason to feel insecure ot to worry. If anything he is rude to people in general or stand off ish but i cant shake the feelings of jealousy. I know that if i bring it up it would start a fight and he would tell me to relax, theres nothing to worry about, theres no reason to make him feel like hes doing somethingwrong when he is just participating in a class.. I feel like i can't get any reassurance with anying though and when we get into arguments he says he can't do it anymore, but only during those times. I also feel like everything i do is wrong so he is justified in the way he responds to me and usually escalates. I know im not perfect but i dont know what else to do anyone have any suggestions?

[Hidden]

Hello,Do not seek reassurance from your partner. That is an OCD ritual and it will make you feel better for about 2 seconds and then your doubt & insecurity will come roaring back. However, if he keeps calling this young woman dumb & stupid, I would shut that down. That's obnoxious and childish. I would tell him not to call people names around you. If he argues with you or persists in doing it, that gives you data on how much he respects you/other young women. Not everything that bothers you about him necessarily has to do with your OCD. Maybe there are just times when he's a jerk.

[Carbon21 in reply to Hidden]

agree!