I have Retrospective Jealousy OCD. It started around 30 years ago when I met my now wife. I struggled with the thoughts about her past not knowing what was happening and when they first came on the pain was unbearable and I tried to kill myself. I then had years of going to therapists that were useless as they failed to realise it was OCD. Four years ago I finally was diagnosed and with the help of a great psychotherapist I have been doing ERP and at last things have improved. Before that I was totally at its mercy and I would get so angry and upset with my wife it was awful. Luckily we are still together. I would like to connect with others with this type of OCD to hopefully provide some support and understanding whether you have not yet been diagnosed or you are or are due to begin ERP . ERP was the hardest thing I have ever had to do. If years ago I had known other people with this OCD who knew what the diagnosis is and how to treat it it would have saved years of pain and suffering.
Retrospective Jealousy OCD PURE O ROCD - My OCD Community
Retrospective Jealousy OCD PURE O ROCD
Just this past month a writer to Dear Amy advice column wrote about his struggles with this very thing, though the advice columnist did not flag his issues as Retrospective Jealousy OCD. She really needs to be educated about this and other forms of OCD in order to be of better service to her syndicated readers.
Yes I spent endless money and time with therapists who gave me totally the wrong advice such as rationalising the thoughts (the opposite of ERP treatment) as they did not for some reason see it was simply OCD. That is very dangerous as if you believe it is happening because you are a jealous person or you are affected by events in your past etc you will feel incredibly guilty boo your partner for your behaviour and blame yourself so lowering your mood, making the thoughts more persistent and go down a spiral to suicidal ideations. These people are very dangerous and should know better!
I don’t have this type of OCD but certainly have OCD about past events and fears of what I may have done and what might happen as a result of my possible past transgressions, even though I am certain I didn’t do them. The past what if’s are super breeding grounds for OCD in my experience. It’s like a Petrie Dish left under a fridge. Glad that you and your wife have been able to work through all this. I feel extremely lucky that my wife has stuck with me through all my struggles. Best of luck and hope you continue to heal.
Thanks yes unfortunately OCD and relationships do not often work out. It sounds like you have also been able to maintain long term relationship. I think the main issue is to (i) get diagnosed correctly (to reduce the terrible guilt and (ii) on that basis trying to get the benefit of doubt from your partner. So even when I am horrible and nasty and full of hate there is some recognition that the person is not "you" and you are struggling with a serious mental illness. Unfortunately I had 20 years before being diagnosed so I have been very lucky to have a wife that has stuck by me regardless of these blow ups.
Am also glad that finally you got the right diagnosis and doing ERP. Even as you reach out to others with similar OCD, ERP will continue to yield positive results. My daughter on ERP though physical sessions affected by COVID has been doing well. I know it is tough and tormenting but you are in the right direction and have your wife support. I wish you all well and thanks for sharing
Struggling with tic-like OCD
Logic doesn’t work on OCD
Continuing search for best care for adult daughter with health-related OCD
OCD Scrupulosity
OCD from ocd🤣🤣
