OCD and married life

[Helpgod7]

Hi

Can an OCD sufferer contemplate / successfully marry and have a good relationship ? Can he endure the stress that is part and parcel of any relationship or is it too much to ask considering the nature of the ocd condition ? Does marriage or a romantic relationship help or on the contrary exacerbate the “ obsessive “ thoughts and distress ? Even regular folk obsess when it comes to matters of the heart, but for ocd sufferers can it be disastrous?

[MothFir]

I shared a good bit of my story in your other post, but to clarify, by "family" I meant my wife and daughter. I'll have been married for 25 years this year. I know my OCD has been hard on my wife for extended periods, but we are still together and she is much of the reason I'm doing better these days. If I had tried OCD therapy earlier in life, I likely would have been easier to live with this whole time.

From the OCD sufferer's perspective, marriage (and any relationship) can be fodder for OCD anxiety. It can make the sufferer obsess over whether they really love their partner, or whether their partner really loves them, or whether their partner is the best possible partner they could have, and on and on. All these things are part of OCD and can be addressed with therapy.

So in my opinion the answer to your question is "yes," even if marriage/relationships bring their own challenges. If the sufferer is not married, the OCD will find something else to latch onto. If the sufferer is married and both people are willing to understand and address the OCD openly and directly, marriage can be a great support for everyone. If an OCD sufferer avoids marriage, relationships, travel, hobbies, work, going out in public, petting animals, spending time with children, or anything else just because it could potentially trigger their anxiety, they'll miss out on some of the best part of life -- and they'll probably still be anxious anyway.

[Helpgod7 in reply to MothFir]

Thank you so much for your reassuring answer. OCD complicates everything anyway so I guess one shouldn’t try to “ avoid” marriage or relationships as anything can trigger anxiety. Thank you so much for your reply.

[Focusedmind]

I have been married for 40 years and have two young adult children. I was diagnosed with OCD rather early in my marriage. It still gets in my way, but because my husband is so "laid back", he helps me deal with it. So, I think it is important to have the right partner and realize you can work better as a team with some personalities better than others. So, finding the right person is important as is individual, couples and family counseling. I, myself, am much happier being married than I would be single.

[Helpgod7]

Thank you so much for your reply. As a mother, I can’t help worrying about my son’s future due to his OCD. Thank you for your kindness in responding