Hi, I am the wife of an OCD sufferer..

[DawnyLou420]

My husband has OCD as severe as it can get. The rituals, getting stuck saying words, getting stuck staring at spots on the floor, word repeating, tic disorder and you name it, he does it. I constantly worry about him and that is why I am here. To find help. He has a therapist, but we aren't sure she is the right one. He has been this way since he was 11 and he is now 56 and feels there is no way to help him after all of this time. But I know he can have a chance at a better life if we can just get him the help he deserves. Any input, help, support, or comments are truly welcomed. Thank you!

[MothFir]

Exposure and response prevention (ERP) therapy, usually in conjunction with SSRI medication, is the most widely regarded and effective OCD treatment. If his therapist does not do ERP he should find one who does.

I am 48 and have had moderate OCD since age 8 or so. I only started ERP a few years ago and it has greatly improved my life. I am much better able to handle the obsessions when they come up, and I feel a freedom I rarely knew previously. I know of many people in the OCD community who have had crippling OCD that has left them bedridden, afraid to move, touch, or say anything, and they have become "normal" again through medication and good therapy. If your husband has enough motivation to do the hard work of recovery, it is definitely possible.

He is very lucky that you have stuck with him and are trying to help.

[DawnyLou420 in reply to MothFir]

Hi...thanks for writing me back. Sorry I'm just seeing this! His therapist wants to do this, but Brian has been dead set against it, fearing that he cannot do it. We are still trying to find him the right medication, because I know if his mood was better, he might be more apt to try new things and ERP might be more of a possibility. Brian is very stubborn when it comes to his OCD and unwilling to try. I am frustrated beyond belief, but I never let him see that. The medication road has been long and hard, 8 years now and he is still not on anything that works. I'm afraid if he "gives up" like he threatens, that he will never get out of bed, ever again. Anyway, it was nice hearing from you and I hope all is well.

[dutchgirl71]

look into NOCD…it’s a virtual therapy with excellent therapists. The virtual format allows the patient to do work right in the home!

[Sallyskins]

It's perfectly possible to get your life back from OCD. And that includes your husband. It's a difficult condition to treat, but it is treatable.

First of all, is your husband on medication? The right medication can help to dampen down the worst of the OCD and make cognition behavioural therapy easier to do.

CBT, or cognitive behavioural therapy, is the gold standard for treatment, but it is difficult to do - it involves, as your husband may already know, lots of attempts and quite a lot of pain.

But it does work - it can make things sufficiently better to allow you to get on with life.

It gets easier as you progress with the exercises. It's important not to allow 'failures', where someone gives in to the OCD, to put you off. Don't think of them as failures.

It sounds as though your husband has a whole gamut of OCD behaviours, so if one of these proves too intractable at first, then he can try something else. If one ritual is too ingrained, then try tackling another. Always tackle the easiest first.

A lot of people with long term OCD didn't get the right treatment at first. I didn't, and it took me years before I realized what I had, and managed to get a CBT therapist. So make sure that any therapist treating him uses CBT techniques.

Some positive results have also been had with a substance called inositol, particularly with difficult-to-treat OCD. It's a natural substance - one of the B vitamins - it's safe to take and side effects are rare. Large doses are needed - about 18 grams a day (that's grams, not milligrams) and it can be bought at some chemists and many health food stores. So if SSRI medication and CBT aren't having much effect on your husband's OCD, this is another route you could try.

One thing he has got, that doctors can't prescribe and money can't buy: that's you and your support. He's lucky to have that!

[DawnyLou420 in reply to Sallyskins]

Thank you so very much for your kind words. I truly appreciate that. I've been doing this alone for so long that it makes me feel excited to meet new people who are also living this experience in one way or another. Brian, after 8 years of trying, still has not found the right medication to help his OCD, or his mood, or God forbid both! He does have a lot of issues with it and it does make life hard at times because I do live in the box with him, so to speak. He has a hard time doing anything and is refusing to try at the moment. But, he now has an appointment with a Psychiatrist in August. Which I am hopeful for. Thanks again for writing.

[Sallyskins in reply to DawnyLou420]

That's good - may he co-operate! It can be an uphill task getting people with mental health problems to co-operate with treatment, partly because the treatment can be so difficult to do.

Fortunately for me, I found sertraline - the first SSRI antidepressant I tried - really helpful. Some people have a lot of trouble in getting medication that suits them. Before sertraline, I took clomipramine, an older antidepressant that worked well for me for many years. Perhaps it could be worth asking about that - it does have side effects, including making you feel dopey and drowsy, and is no longer a first-line medication, but it can work for some people.

I have a 5 g a day supplement of an anti-psychotic called aripiprazole - I'm not psychotic but it's been found that it boosts the effects of sertraline and other SSRIs. It really makes a difference to me.

It can be really difficult for partners, friends and family. There are books aimed at people in this position, so they can understand better how to support someone with OCD. It's also important to make room for your own needs.

A helpful book is The OCD Workbook - it has explanations of what OCD is and what forms it can take, as well as exercises your husband could try at home to get him started on CBT. And it has a section aimed at friends and family.

Remember that no matter how ingrained and resistant to treatment OCD can be, there is a way to a better life. It can be managed.

[aparente001]

My son has Tourette, OCD and ADHD. I'll share which medications have been helpful for him. We worked pretty hard to find things that would minimize side effects. Guanfacine for impulsive behavior and tics (max 4 mg/day); Strattera for concentration; Zoloft (high dosage) for OCD (takes several months to ramp up gradually and start to show improvement); Buspirone for anxiety (can be taken scheduled or as needed). You may want to ask the medical provider whether any of these might be helpful for him.

Having my own therapy has been helpful because it's stressful living with him. Also, I worked hard to find a therapist who would be a good fit for my son.

The IOCDF website has a directory of providers who are trained in evaluating and treating OCD.

[CinnamonSun]

Hi DawnyLou, I'm afraid I don't have any advise re: medications / therapy but I found your post as my husband also suffers in what sounds like a similar way to yours; his intrusive thoughts and fears get him stuck repeating words or actions to 'purge' the feeling. It has become especially bad lately. He did see a therapist years ago, which helped to some extent, but he stopped going and it's so hard to get him to go back.

Bascially, I wanted you to know you're not alone. Always happy to chat if you need.

[NobodyInParticular-]

As MothFir said exposure and medication are the most effective, and it worked for me quite well. But, honestly, the most important thing is that he's happy and you're happy, so, maybe instead of focusing on getting rid of OCD, start by optimizing his life with it.