Hey!
Just joined because I need a ton of advice. Here's my story:
Since I was 14 I suffered from severe acne. I shut myself in from 14-20, was homeschooled and even got my first job online. I sheltered myself for years until I got a job at 21 working for a production company. Since 14 I can't stop obsessing over mirrors and grooming myself until it looks perfect but it never does.
When I was younger I was heavily judged and put under a microscope by my aunt and cousin. Everything always felt like a competition and even if I moved wrong I was judged by them. I broke away years ago but I still think about letting people down or not being good enough.
My biggest issues are:
Constant grooming in the mirror for hours.
I can't easily go out because I'm afraid of what people think of me.
I feel like there's a weight on my shoulders all the time.
I judge the way I speak and sometimes have a nervous sounding voice.
I'm always thinking about what I look like.
My company's work is camera work (ironic) and I spend half the day looking in the camera lens or mirror. I want to stop this but I have no idea how. It's gotten so bad to the point where I lose track of time.
Any advice? Thanks so much!