Looking for advice for living with Just Right OCD (Starting over compulsion)

[DarthVader1988]

Hi everyone, I was just wondering does anyone on here have experience with Just Right OCD where the compulsion is to completely start over? It is like a mental cleanse, What I mean by this is like a desire to, like a computer game, restart a game where you try to be a completely new person who will do everything perfectly, things like dress perfectly (Outfit has to match and meet some silly arbitrary standard), act and speak perfectly etc. Then when you make a "mistake" you get the overwhelming urge to start over. Would love to know how you set exposures for this type of OCD and or any advice in addressing it etc. Thank you in advance for sharing

[Sallyskins]

I don't do computer games but I totally recognize the syndrome! I have so often felt compelled to repeat something I've done - it could be as simple as taking a plate out of the cupboard or walking down the road - I feel the urge to put it back and take it out again, or go back and retrace my steps.

I remember having this as a child - I had a routine where I would throw a rubber ball against a wall and catch it in a variety of ways. If I got the routine wrong I did it again from the beginning until I had got it perfect! So in my case it goes back a long way.

The irony is that I'm often rather slapdash and sloppy by nature! Having said that I take a lot of pains over any work and try to get it as perfect as possible.

I think people with OCD often have high standards of perfection for themselves, Our standards for ourselves are far stricter than we'd expect anyone else to maintain. This means we are conscientious and good at paying attention to detail.

I like the phrase you use - 'mental cleanse' sums it up really well. I'm sure OCD cleaning rituals are related to wanting to clean up one's mind.

CBT can help us to move on when we think we've made a tiny error, instead of going back and restarting. It does involve discomfort, but if you can learn techniques such as waiting ten minutes before redoing something, refusing to go over minor or imaginary mistakes in your mind, and letting the anxiety surge and then subside, then you can make progress.

But it's also about learning to accept yourself with your imperfections and not demanding impossibly high standards of yourself - standards that you wouldn't expect from others.

I love art, and no work of art is perfect. It's often those tiny 'imperfections' that make a work of art great, just as it's the deviations from the perfect that can make someone beautiful. Perfect is often boring!

[DarthVader1988 in reply to Sallyskins]

Thanks for your reply! Haha I'm not really a big gamer either I just meant that my compulsion feels like when a computer game character respawns perfectly even if they have failed/died in the game etc. Bad example probably Yeah what I am experiencing sounds quite similar to what you are describing. It is like an inability to allow any legroom for errors when we make them however, as you so correctly said, you would never hold anyone else to the same standard. It is frustrating. I like your advice re: the waiting 10 minutes before redoing something and to acceptance. I think where I have hit the wall in the past is getting confused between what parts of say my own personality quirks and what are OCD driven actions. It is at times a reck the head. Thanks for your reply and I wish you well in your own treatment journey