Real Event OCD

[koolkats21]

Hi all, I am struggling from Real Event OCD. 7 years ago, I had a crush on my friend. We went out for a trip one summer, got very drunk, and I ended up making out with her and even though she had agreed, I didn't feel like it was consensual because were both supper drunk. To this day, I hate myself for it. I told her sorry about it not long ago, and she forgave me, but I can't forgive myself. I guess it's the fact that I liked her before and she didn't know it that makes it worse...

Then I start ruminating and wondering unanswered questions.. I hate this.

Any advice?

[Hopetoheal]

Hi! I’m working through my own rumination, and while I may not have all the answers or the exact advice that you may be looking for, I can offer a bit of perspective that has been helpful for me. So many things in life, especially memories and events we’re ruminating over, can seem very different depending on the lens we’re viewing them through. If you’re looking at this event through a lens where something was nonconsensual, that’s the way you’ll remember if. If you look at it through a lens where you and a friend were both drunk and made out and you both agreed to it at the time, that’s also the way you’ll remember it. OCD often takes the power to choose which lens we view things through away from us and uses the worst case scenario, when that may not be the most “accurate” lens. I hope this helps!