Values over Fear.

[alexandraisobsessed]

Values over fear is a popular phrase in the OCD community. Lately, it has taken on a whole new meaning for me.

I have been leaning into my values for quite some time now, but choosing them over my fears has been difficult. Especially consistently. It’s easy for OCD to sneak in and shrink my world little by little without my noticing. One day, I’m meeting friends and the next I won’t leave the house for weeks because I’m too afraid of getting sick.

My fears have always felt so real to me that I couldn’t see a reason to do anything differently. Now that I have a son, family and other things/people I value greatly, it has become clear how much my fears were dictating my life. I won’t lie, I’m angry at how small my world has become, how much OCD has taken and how paralyzed by my fears I have been, but my best solution is to live the rest of my life firmly in my values. I know it won’t always be easy, but if these past years and the pandemic have shown me anything, it’s that even when my worst fears come true I can survive and grow through them.

I hope you’re doing well and choosing your values when you can. It isn’t easy, but if we start with one small step it gets easier. Sending love on this Wednesday.

Are you able to choose your values over your fears consistently or do you struggle with this? I'd love to have a conversation about it and give each other tips or support!

Alex

[3BirdLover]

In what way are you choosing values over fears? Can you give some examples?

[alexandraisobsessed IOCDF Advocate in reply to 3BirdLover]

Hey! Sure. I have a few of what I would say are core values. My family & loved ones, advocacy and new experiences.

When I'm faced with a triggering decision such as meeting up with a loved one vs staying home I'm consciously electing to move toward my values. That means even though it's a bit triggering, I will elect to safely meet up with my loved one instead of allowing OCD to dictate my life and stay home out of fear.

I hope that makes sense!

[3BirdLover in reply to alexandraisobsessed]

Yes, it does make sense. My values also are my family (I have no children or husband), but my sister and family are so very important. It can be very lonely staying at home alone, however my Harm OCD is a real stinker. I am not afraid of getting Covid, however I am really afraid of not knowing I have it, and possibly spreading it to someone else. I just have big problems in that area. I AM working with my therapist on this and with her help, I will be able to calm down enough to think more logically. It's a slippery slope isn't it?

[alexandraisobsessed IOCDF Advocate in reply to 3BirdLover]

That fear resonates. I often fear that same thing. I'm hopeful that your therapist will be able to help you! Mine has been a huge help. Sending you lots of good thoughts.

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Alex I would like to hear more about what values over fears actually means. I haven't heard it until this site. Could you elaborate just a little when you're not too busy?😊