Can't Stop Worrying About Hell

[mvillarreal]

Hi, everyone. I keep obsessing about the idea that people might go to hell. It's not even really about myself, for the most part. I just keep worrying that universal reuniting with Source might not be true and that some people will suffer for eternity, and I can't stop thinking about it. How do I get out of this thought loop?

[Wes8]

I'm not sure what exactly your beliefs are, but perhaps it could help to remember that there are things in life that are out of our control or complete understanding.

[propjock]

I haven’t read very many of your posts yet, so maybe you have already heard this. My panic and anxiety most often come with a thought or theme that is genuinely difficult, like the one you mentioned, but it is as though the volume has been turned up to 10. Like yours, a lot of my early ones had a metaphysical angle, but not so much in the last ~15 years.

The thing I started to notice was that the thought was not always at full volume. Some days I could think about the distressing thing, feel the distress, and then move on. Other days, seemingly out of the blue, I would get the Marshall amplifier version, with no stopping it.

10-15 years ago, I was in a particularly debilitating stretch. My child was about to go away to college. You could ask me about that, and I would say, well, I’m going to miss her, but we raised her to be a strong independent person and she has to find her own way in the world, that’s how my parents raised me, “The greatest gifts you can give your children is roots and wings,” (Thanks, Ma! Miss you! 😢) Nice little speech, and intellectually true. Meanwhile, my brain was shredding itself with all-fear, all-the-time thoughts about this other thing).

I went to see one of our pastors. We talked a little, and he asked a single question. “Tell me about some favorite memories with your daughter.” I got about three words out and completely lost it. Twenty minutes of ugly snotty crying later, I had learned a valuable fact. *My obsessive thoughts and the source of the energy behind my obsessive thoughts are not necessarily the same*.

Without meaning to, I had internalized that there are things worth getting upset over, and things not worth getting upset over. I had (have) an emotional censor. It wasn’t OK to be upset about my daughter leaving, but it was OK to be upset about the other thing, so guess where all that grief went. Yep.

So there was no use trying to turn the volume of X down by thinking about X, no matter how logically. (CBT and exposure did help a little). What I’m learning to do is look for potential volume drivers. I’m starting to learn what they are, and when one of those gets poked by life, even if there’s no triggered reaction yet, I have a feelings talk with myself.

All this is to say, I agree the idea of eternal hell is disturbing. But you might not turn the volume down by forming your own clear, convinced doctrine of hell, or no-hell. And even if you do turn the volume down on that one, your feelings have plenty more material to work with, because you have such a rich inner life.

I hope this helps.