I can't turn it off :'(

[Cricket2022]

I constantly worry about those I know and care about becoming ill, getting hurt, suffering or dying. I obsess over this and the idea that everytime I see them might be the last. I worry about whether I've let them know enough just how much they meant. My compulsion is that I send repeated emails or leave multiple voice mails letting them know. I'm having difficulty stopping and I feel terrible about the emails and voice mails. Does anyone else experience something similar? What has helped you stop the compulsions?

[Ariadnee]

Dear Cricket 2022, I am sorry for your pain. Unfortunately, I feel the same too and the pandemic doesn't help. I think we should focus on here and now, be present and try to get through a day at a time. Today you should try and send an email less or try to delay the complusion. I am sure you can do this! We are here together ❣️

Sorry for any mistakes, English is not my mother language.

[Cricket2022 in reply to Ariadnee]

Thank you so much for your reply Ariadnee! It is very helpful. I'm having the urge to send an email today, but I'm doing what you said and delaying the compulsion. I'm hoping with some practice this becomes easier and less painful. I'm so sorry you suffer with this too. I hope it becomes easier for you as well.

[HHeerssen]

Dear Cricket2022- I know your pain. But you will learn that we have very little control over such things that you are worried about. Yes, good advice that our Lord Jesus tells to live one day at time and don't stress about the future. I don't know if you are seeing a counselor or in a group session but that would really help. And taking about 200 to 300 me of Zoloft is a great help and will take the edge off your worries. God bless you!!

[Cricket2022 in reply to HHeerssen]

Thank you so much for your reply HHeerssen! Your post is very helpful. I am seeing an excellent therapist and am looking into finding a group with the help of my therapist. It seems promising. I am sorry you struggle with this too.

[SLEAO127]

This is by far the hardest thing for me to work through as I live with OCD. At times, I even worry that if I say the wrong thing as my “last” outreach, it will CAUSE harm. I’m so sorry to read of your experience, and I hope it brings you peace to know you are not alone in these painful and difficult feelings and compulsions.

[fromzerotopanic in reply to SLEAO127]

Ive struggled with this as well, the idea that I'll 'say' something that will cause harm, etc. My therapist told me to say things like "I hope a plane falls on the house down the street" or "I'm going to win the lottery". You'll soon see that just because you think or say something, doesn't make it true. We don't have that kind of power, thankfully! I'm just in the process of learning this approach, but it has helped!

[fromzerotopanic]

Welcome to the club, so to speak! This is something I struggle with so much at times. What has finally started to help is (and it's not an easy concept, but the only thing I think will help me finally get my mind in a 'right' place), I have to understand that I can't control things. Things are going to happen. I may not want them to, but I have to accept the fact that yes, in life, there will be good and bad things happen. Whether one wants to accept this or not, doesn't change the reality that it's true. And I can't control what others do (if I think they aren't being safe, etc). At some point, we have to let others be responsible for their own actions. I often worry if something happens to a family member it's because I didn't warn them enough to be vigilant about their health, safety, etc. Or if I fail to tell them to 'drive safe', that if something happens, it's my fault! I agree with the others in saying to limit the number of times you email them to get you started. But one thing I'd ask you is, do these family members you email constantly, do they email, text or call you several times a day to be sure you know just how much they mean to you? I imagine they don't. BUT, because they don't, do you doubt how much they love you? If something happened to them, would you think 'they didn't love me because they didn't email me 10 times a day telling me they did"? Probably not, because love is often unspoken. You already know they love you, without them having to tell you. So use the reverse. Your family knows how much you care, whether you email 20 times or no times. So you are right in that it's a compulsion, something you have to do to make yourself feel better, feel like you have some sort of imaginary control of their lives when deep down, you know you can't control what happens to them. Try, when a scary thought pops into your head, instead of quickly emailing them, tell yourself, yeah, that could happen (because you know technically it 'could', but doesn't mean it will), and just let it sit there. Don't fight it, don't try to shake the thought out of your head. Eventually, the thought won't give you the same level of fear. It takes time (and I haven't perfected it by a long shot!), but if you continue to run to email every time you have a thought, it will be a viscous cycle. Just know there are many of us who go through this as well!

[beth196]

I take Lexapro 20 mg and if it gets really bad I add a clonazepam for a few days and this helps delay the thoughts. I also work out everyday for an hour which helps raise serotonin naturally. This disorder waxes and wanes so you have to understand that sometimes its better than others. I've also increased my lexapro for short period of time to reset this extreme anxiety. Stay busy!!!