ERP confusion in my brain, need advice please from others who are, or who have done, ERP with meds

[Catlady27]

ERP Confusion

I have just started taking prozac one time a day and have begun to do some exposures at home on my own (no therapist present during exposure helping me due to pandemic). I am winging it on my own but have obtained some emotional relief. Has anyone experienced mental confusion while taking a med and doing exposures at the same time though? Part of my brain tells me to touch things and don't give a crap about it (the meds talking I believe) and part of my brain still sends anxiety warning signals to not touch contaminated items. It is like a tug of war going on inside by brain. This makes my head feel very confused, almost like having a headache at times. Has anyone else experienced this? Does the weird confusion in your head go away in time with repeated exposures? I surely hope that it does!

[MothFir]

I've not had a physical headache show up, but I think I know what you are getting at, and I think it's normal and expected. The "weird confusion" should eventually go away, but the early stages of ERP can be unpleasant. You're trying to change your deeply-ingrained responses to stimuli, and your anxiety is fighting back.

I also think (from my experience and everything I've heard) that the way you feel is not too important in the beginning--it's your choices and actions that matter. Obviously the long term goal is to get to a place of mental peace and well-being, but early on you may feel worse than before you started.

[Catlady27 in reply to MothFir]

Thank you for the reply. Your words always seem to soothe me some. I have a very uncomfortable feeling in my head with the confusion of wanting and at the same time not wanting to touch contaminated items. I also have a fuzzy feeling in my head all the time that I am not sure is from the effect of the exposures themselves and rewiring my brain or the prozac that I just started taking. The feeling is driving me crazy though and I am climbing the walls feeling besides myself. I just don't know how to verbally explain my discomfort to anyone and I am desperate for it to end.

[MothFir in reply to Catlady27]

I know there’s no therapist present when you are doing exposures, but are you seeing one to help you design an exposure program? If the anxiety is overwhelming you may be trying too much at once. A therapist should be able to help you find the right balance between challenging your anxiety and keeping it doable.