Scared

[Happyface123]

Why I’m a scared of everything? Like the “what ifs” my OCD is so bad at the moment! I have so many bad thoughts and think what if they become real? What if a I’m really this bad person? Or what if I end up in a mental hospital because av hurt some one and didn’t now what a was doing???

[OCD34]

Happyface123, I speak to you as a fellow ocd sufferer. I feel exactly the same way right now. I have had ocd come to find out most of my life. I was diagnosed in early twenties a few times. My doubts and ocd themes changed throughout my life stages. When I got to my twenties and living on my own ocd attacked me on the most sensitive areas. OCD turned into full day mental ruminating and doubt battles. It got so bad that I hit the worst possible obsession wall pretty fast. What I mean is it picked things to make me obsess that were so bad that It made me feel like my own worst enemy. To this day it still makes me doubt if I am some horrible person. I remember clearly how my ocd morphed themes. My close friends and family who I have opened up to about these things over the years all know how my ocd morphed and about what. We At times Iaugh at how anxious, depressed and hopeless certain ocd themes made me feel and how they dont anymore. My closest friend always reminds me that its just thoughts not you, look at how the thoughts control you. You dont enjoy them. You wish for a clear happy mind.

Ocd makes things black and white. There is a grey area. Thats our minds. We cant control our thoughts. We can seek help and talk to others. From what I have learned is ocd makes you think it is reality. But how is it reality when you step back and can find evidence it is a liar. Ocd is reassurance engine. Dont give it reassurance and it sputters and the anxiety temporarily spikes. If you stick to this you will feel better. But if you keep feeding it reassurance it empowers the ocd and no reassurance is ever good enough. We run out of reassurance then the anxiety comes back. Its best to stop the doubt battle by walking away from finding reassurance. You will be ok. You will get through this. We always do. All the times I walked away from reassurance and gave it a few days and I did start to feel less anxious. Distract yourself do something you like. Talk to a friend. Read a book. You will be ok!! You just have to break the cycle. If you need to chat anytime. I am here.

[Happyface123 in reply to OCD34]

Hi OCD34 hope your well?

This is horrible for me my ocd is so bad at times av had harm/suicidal ocd for just over a year now makes me feel so bad!💔 at time’s I do get passed it and other days it’s just so upsetting xx

[OCD34 in reply to Happyface123]

Yeah. I wish I could go back to 3 weeks ago before my ocd spiked. Ever since then I have had a mostly constant on edge feeling. Anxiety. Depression. Ocd. Just a constant sense of dread. It has taken my ability to enjoy things. Luckily I have friends/family I can talk to and let it out. My best friend is going through her own anxiety spike as well. What I can say is I think it is a combo effect of everything at once stirring up my ocd and a lot of my past ocd themes.

1) Job Stress - a big workload increase and stressful training.

2) Not making enough to pay everything including my debts, feeling inadequate.

3) After 18 years of taking zoloft they have a national shortage so My doc had me start taking Cymbalta instead. Semi discontinuation syndrome.

4) Current uncertain state of the world.

I feel like it is harder for me to get through this spike because I don’t have my usual coping mechanisms like money and a positive future outlook. These distractions mixed with my meds and therapy methods before seemed to snap me out of spikes.

Just know you are not alone. I get very active sometimes thinking of my mental history. Tracking how my anxiety, ocd and depression developed and changed throughout my life. I remember new things all the time I never knew were ocd. It opens my eyes to remember how I felt so many times as a teenager and I couldnt ever put a finger on what it was. But now I know it was my ocd. Thinking of my past and how I got through helps me see that I can get through this now and in the future. Pair that powerhouse with people who support you and nothing can stop you. Just know Im here for you. God is there for you the most. Jesus cares. He listens and will help you. He will never forsake you. Hope you feel better.

[DeathtoOCD]

One of the hardest thing about OCD, what if... See if you can find an OCD therapist, it helps.

[Happyface123 in reply to DeathtoOCD]

Hi DeathtoOCD I’m on a waiting list now so fingers crossed it isn’t to long

[DeathtoOCD in reply to Happyface123]

Good. Make sure to tell them everything. Your one step closer I hope it is soon too.